Two Birds With One Stone
by J.B. Writer
Summary: Lily enjoys her life now with a healed Nina, her partner on and off the ballet stage.  While Nina struggles with the pressures of fame and being a big time ballet producer someone from Lily's past comes back to haunt her.  Their bond will be tested.
1. Prologue: TV Talk Shows On Mute

**A/N:** Okay, sequel to Birds of a Feather begins. For those who want to skip into this straight away... and have a headache. Here's the facts... spoilers alert.

- Nina and Lily are a couple.

- Swan Lake has become a much bigger show than the movie incarnation. They're famous now!

- Nina is no longer just a dancer... but a choreographer.

- Nina has mostly conquered her skitsophrenia/psychosis, both her and Lily have grown from their respective portrayals in the movie.

Biggest fear of this fic and why I almost didn't want to try it? Because Birds of a Feather healed our two fav Swans, I don't think it will inherently feel like the movie Black Swan for the most part. Because Nina isn't the same trainwreck she was in the movie any longer, its going to be hard to hit that same tone (assuming she stays that way). I don't know how many people care, but I guess a story where Nina is abit more normal and on top of that famous has its charm as well.

Wish me luck... I need it.

* * *

**Prologue: TV Talk Shows On Mute**

It was another late night in a preparing ballerina's world. Calm hands and steady were working away on a black pair of pointed shoes, bending the foot tip in preparation, pushing the edge to soften the hardness. The television glares from behind in a dim glow, brown devious eyes turning curiously back and forth.

_**On screen a white adorned ballerina is on stage by herself, going through the opening motions of Swan Lake as the camera pushes in a slow push. Words flash on the screen as the view clears, the familiar music playing in the background. There's darkness in all of us. There's something inside begging to be freed. Are you daring? The camera reaches the stage pulling up as the ballerina pirouettes to the center. Dare to be bold. Dare to be insane. Dare to be sexy. Dare to be wild.**_

The ballerina shoes are placed down tightly, sharp pins and scissors pulled out from a sewing kit.

_**The camera closes up on the face of Nina Sayers, looking down and in a profile and pose, her entire body and face highlighting the wonderous White Swan that would suffer the worst fate. There's a Black Swan in all of us… For one night… Let it out… Nina turns to the camera, revealing the other half of her face, Lily transposed like a broken image, smiling at the camera with the Black Swan's red eye.**_

_**It goes black… one word etched in a sea of black feathers fading out… Swans.**_

Pins and needles are pressed into the skin of the shoe like it was attacking skin, piercing the spots necessary for the ribbons to be inserted. Sewing the ribbons on was something any professional dancer would be akin to.

_Conan: Andy that was a ballet commercial by the way. Can you believe that? It looked like some sort of trailer for an M Night Shamylan film._

_Andy: I already got my tickets ordered!_

_Conan: You're only saying that because those Swans are coming out right now._

_Andy: Probably… so Conan._

_Conan: Anyway ladies and gentlemen we got two special guests for you tonight. Both star in the touring ballet show Swans that's been lighting a fire in not only the resurgence of ballet but traveling shows in general. The highest grossing first year performance for a US tour since Cirque De Solei! Give it up for its stars Nina Sayers and Lily everybody!_

_**The band began to play a rocking tune, Lily and Nina walking out in heels and waving to a well receptive crowd. Both were wearing strapless dresses black and white respectively, looking quite primped up for television. Lily is of course the more playful to the crowd, shaking her bod like she meant it while Nina calmly proceeded towards the couch.**_

_**Lily walked over to Conan with a pure white tutu she pulls out of a bag, putting on his waist as the crowd was quite rowdy for the bit. They are embraced by the host while they slide over and take their seats.**_

The ribbons on the ballerina shoes continue to be adjusted to the girl's preference, now delicate feet sliding in each shoe for fitting. Those eyes don't move from the screen as Nina and Lily appear.

_Lily: You can keep that tutu Conan. It's on us._

_Conan: It fits! I think it looks good on me. Everyone agree?_

_**Crowd reacts with a loud "YES!"**_

_Conan: You lying animals… *He tossed the tutu to the side, turning to his guests.* You two look lovely tonight. No tutus. No ballerina shoes. You look so different in the real world but very good._

_Lily: It's the same as the show. Make up Conan. Tons and tons of makeup._

_Conan: If only it were that easy. I think I have on more than you two combined and it ain't working as well. _

_Lily: Nah, you look great. Put a tutu on you and you can be the Tall Swan or something…_

_Conan: Please spare the crowd of such an image. *Everyone laughed.* Okay, First question, since you guys have been on TV like crazy the last month. How do you guys feel being famous now? Do you guys get people running in front of you, doing a plié to impress you?_

_Lily: I think Nina has gotten a few. I've gotten some weird run-ins. I personally love them. I love random fan pop ups._

_Nina: The one run-in today at the mall was actually quite frightening though._

_Lily: Oh right! I took Nina to Groman's Chinese Theater on Hollywood Blvd for shopping and literally some crazy lady dressed up as the Black Swan darts in front of us with freaky eyes. I think Nina sprinted half-way down to San Diego after that._

_Nina: … Please I appreciate fans and all. But if you can warn me if you're going to jump out at me in the open with feathers and that make up on. I… I am sensitive to that. _

_Conan: Hehehe you poor thing. *The crowd laughs but aws all at once.* Now I got to see the show Swans at the Staples Center last night. My wife was the one who actually told me about this and I was like… ugh… two hours of ballet. What am I gonna do? Do they serve beer? _

_Lily: I think that's like 99.9 percent of the male population. Thank goodness for females._

_Conan: My wife is lovely and I was pleasantly surprised! I've never really seen a ballet like this. It was ballet for sure… but different… I don't know how to describe it._

_Lily: I like to say it's a mix of ballet, theater… and a freak show right Nina?_

_Nina: I'd say that is as accurate as you can describe it without seeing._

The shoes fit perfectly now with minor adjustments, hugging those dancer's feet ribbons being pushed and pinned down to tighten. It was a precise job but she was doing it like she was blindfolded. This ballerina was just going through the motions with experience.

_Conan: Now Nina, I think it's safe to say it all started with you. You seemed to inspire and garner a lot of support. I believe everyone here knows your story for the most part. It's really gripping mostly because you've been so open about it to the media. That can't be easy I imagine._

_Nina: Well for me it was kind of natural when I got wind of how everyone was reacting. It all started with learning about the support over the internet and the interest in the ballet that our choreographer Thomas envisioned. I went through some… uh… things sure, and I can't believe I'm saying it but it was sort of a blessing in disguise._

_Conan: You've even opened a charitable organization supporting psychotherapy correct?_

_Nina: Yes which some of the proceeds of our show goes to. Some of our proceeds also go to funding ballet programs in struggling schools. I think there's always some kind of stigma to both ballet and therapy. I want to rid the world of both. We go to doctors to get our body's checked out. I don't see why it has to be so strange to go get our minds checked out. _

_Lily: Isn't she just so awesome? *She looked to the crowd who clapped away. Nina just looking at Lily with a smile yet bashful shake.*_

_Conan: Very well said. I guess, now more about the show, could you guys imagine anything like this happening? The show becoming so big? It looks like a huge undertaking. It's about as big as any stage or theater show I've seen in the past years. Lily?_

_Llly: No way. It all happened so fast. We went from performing in front of a crowd of 3,000 to about 15,000 a night in about a month. After we hit big in New York, we had to change the entire Swan Lake show into a fiasco, becoming a US tour took about three months. It's been a lot of hard work but worth it I think._

The shoes were scuffed to a smooth finish against sand, the ballerina standing gracefully as she began to warm up with ease, stretching every muscle, cracking every little bone in her body. She begins to do the moves of the Black Swan, a delicate blend of grace and madness.

_Lily: It's been so fun traveling and doing this. I was just happy being able to dance for the Leroy Production. For everything that happened to Nina, getting this opportunity has been too sweet. I think Nina letting her problems out in the open was the best thing that could've happened._

_Conan: Now from what I understand, Nina these are your last performances as purely a ballerina correct?_

_Nina: Yes, I am focusing purely on the backstage and production process after these performances. That's my dream and I will put off my dancing career for now._

_Conan: But you've been such a big draw for the crowds. Are you not worried about potential loss of interest?_

_Nina: I don't think the popularity of ballet should rest on me. It will burn out eventually. I want to take this time to introduce as many talents to the world before we lose any steam. At the moment we've been looking for a new replacement for next season's tour. It's called Search for the Swan Queen, we've sent out invitations and there's a huge tryout coming in the next month. There are many amazing dancers out there and I'll still be a big part of the production._

_Lily: Basically everyone? She doesn't like the attention._

_Nina: But we all know who does… _

_**Lily shrugs guiltily with light chuckling as the crowd supports her ego.**_

The ballerina moves with even great intensity and with the fluidity needed as well. The technicality tightens as she hears of the tryouts, her body built and sculpted with all lean muscle of a born dancer. She twists and jabs her hands out in a winged posed, slowly and seductively pulling back… dressed in all red and black. Her sensuality was as natural as her technicality. The next question makes the ballerina amusingly turn her head while in mid pose.

_Conan: Now speaking of being open, you two I understand are a couple?_

_Lily: Yes everyone… I sleep with this wonderful woman at night._

_Nina: *nod as she lowered her head with red cheeks.* _

_**The crowd erupts as the stage freezes in awkward yet intrigued staring.**_

_Lily: Heh, she's so embarrassed during these parts of the interview. Every time…_

_Nina: …_

_Lily: Look, to make a long story short? We're open about this because one, we want to support the gay and lesbian community. Two, if I want to kiss my girlfriend? I'll do so when I please. None of this hiding non-sense. Like if I want to make out with her right now on cable TV? I'll do it!_

_Nina: *put her head in her hand, leaning against the seat with a big sigh.*_

_Conan: Andy, check our pulses, I believe the entire audience's heart just stopped from bad bad bad mental images. Shame on you people! *He pointed at the crowd mockingly* We only think pure and unadulterated thoughts here on this show see! We're classy see! _

_**Laughter!**_

_Conan: Um right… heh… I think this is a perfect time to go to commercial break. We'll be back with more Nina and Lily. They're going to teach Andy some ballet moves and we'll talk much more! Stick around!_

The ballerina grins as she lands another pirouette with perfect form. She takes a little break stepping lightly forward, staring at the TV at a closer distance as the camera pans up to the two Swan Queens that had become icons in their rising genre. She gave out a sigh of remising, doing it quite opportunely as it closes in on Lily chatting it up with Conan. Nina and Lily looked like pros doing interviews now… smiling and being so natural.

"You look good Lily." She mutters with a playful smirk. "You look so… happy…" A tight pucker of those lips and a blowing kiss finished her TV watching, the girl shutting it off uncaringly as the image of Lily and Nina disappeared into a commercial. _… It'll be nice seeing you again. It's been a long time._

The furious practice continued. Every time the ballerina would spin the image couldn't be any clearer. In the mirror behind her were two dark wings tattooed on her back flashing, spread out like a Swan… or a fallen angel, a devil. The red number she was wearing made it feel more like the later.

… _We have so much catching up to do don't we?_

_

* * *

_

**A/N: **Just a short prologue to set up. So we set up that Nina and Lily are rising stars. Check. We set up that Swan Lake is now called "Swans" and tours around the US ala Cats... :) Check. And of course we set up the antagonist in the story... who is inspired by someone who used to star in the Transformers movies, posing for Armani. She lost a ton of weight and looks like skin and bones now. Like a ballerina. That's who I'd imagine would be in this role opposite of Natlie Portman and Mila Kunis. The total opposite of those two.

She just looks evil and scary now... Thanks for the inspiration Ms. Fox...


	2. Chapter One: Don't Stay

**A/N: **Long... chapter to say sorry for short chapter.

* * *

**Chapter One: Don't Stay**

Nina did something she still wasn't quite used to. She giggled in delight at an old memory. The first Swan Lake incident… seemed so far away.

"… _What's so funny?"_

The co Swan Queen turned her delicate eyes back onto the computer monitor sitting on her lap, looking at Lily's pretty smile comprised of pixels. "I just still to this day can't believe we first formerly met in a bathroom… that's where I met the love of my life."

"_Hah, I know…" _Lily remembered barging into the bathroom, introducing herself to Nina._ "… So romantic right? Just like they write em in the novels." _

"_Um… No offense to you Nina, but doesn't Lily meet all her girlfriends in a bathroom?"_

The dirty joke created chuckles from the other line, Lily turning her head and smiling amused. _"That was a good one Madeline. I'd probably make a joke about how you gotta man strapped on your back that you've never met before but isn't that like every night for you?"_

"_Ouch, sick burn Maddie…" _Gailana's voice mocked cheerily from the side.

"_Hahaha, touché Lily… touché." _Nina heard Madeline muse lightly and conceding the insult war.

Lily turned back to Nina, pulling the camera away a bit to let her love see the entire scene playing out. The hi-def feed was filming a compact airplane cargo bay, Lily covered in black from head to toe. Gailana and Madeline on the other hand were all suited up in white jumpsuits, helmets being fitted and indeed men were on their backs. Having a stranger strapped to your back usually meant something either a bit strange or kinky… but when it comes to skydiving? It definitely was a normal thing.

"… It's more fun to think about the past than to think what you're about to do." Nina groaned.

"_It's for a good cause. It's good publicity. And it's free." _Lily poked the camera lens playfully. _"I was going to do this before the end of the year anyway."_

"And have me worry every minute you're flying through the air."

"_It's only going to be two minutes and I'll be fine. You had me worried for weeks after Opening Night remember? You can handle a measly two minutes. Just think of it like jumping off a stage to land on a pillow… besides we've been training as Swans for how long now?" _

"… I'm sure it's _exactly _the same."

Nina was reflecting. Nina was conversing in the middle of nowhere. This area was one of the few completely flat spots in New York, a landing zone for skydivers, professional and enthusiasts. Sitting in a spot for visitors, Nina was isolated from the brewing crowd around them by security, local TV stations around covering the "Swans Take Flight" event, a publicity stunt and charity fund raiser for her production. Only three ballerinas volunteered to directly participate… one of them just _had_ to be her girlfriend.

"_You've been reflecting a lot lately. Does this have something to do with our upcoming anniversary?"_

"… You remembered."

"_Do I get a kiss when I land for that?"_

"Probably…" Nina smiled only to sigh more desperately. "Just please come down to me in one piece and I'll do whatever you like."

"_You just said whatever I'd like to ME?" _Lily grinned mischievously._ "Not wise Nina…"_

"Not wise? Huh, I'm not the one jumping out of an airplane."

A voice suddenly pops out from the side. "Hey Nina did you want a pink lemonade?"

"No thanks Lynn!" Nina turned shouting back. "I got Lily on the connection now with Gailana and Madeline. Want to say anything?"

"Tell them good luck and I love them!" The youngest of the ensemble cheered, getting her Pepsi Zero.

"_Hah, Lynn is there? You two are always hanging out now…"_

"She's my right hand gal when I need a break from your madness." Nina smiled.

"Hey Nina! Ask Lily if she becomes a Swan pancake can I have her Swan Queen spot!"

Veronica. Lily already heard that big mouth even from a thousand miles away.

"_Tell her she can have my spot sure. She'll just have to kiss my flattened ass to sign that deal."_

"Flattened? Please don't talk like that." Nina whined, letting out a deep breath.

"_Stop worrying. Just sit back and enjoy the show." _Lily pulled out her signature headphones, waving friendly. _"Sing this while I plunge."_

"… What are you listening to now?" Nina had to distract herself.

"_Well since it is our upcoming anniversary soon, I'm about to go flying, and well I feel a little nostalgic. I've been listening to this." _Lily cleared her throat like an opera singer, puffing her chest up._ "I can show you the wo~rld. Shining shimmering sple~ndid. Tell me princess now when did you last let you heart decide?"_

_**Lily's smile lights up the bathroom, she reaches out to Nina. "Hi I don't think we've formerly met… my name's Lily."**_

"Oh I love this song… b-but how does it go again?" Nina felt warm in her childhood thoughts, can't remembering the verse to save her life regardless.

"_I guess I can help you out a little more." _Lily was always her aid, if not a sucker for a good karaoke night._ "I can open you eyes. Take you wo~nder by wo~nder. Over sideways and under, __on a magic carpet ride."_

"A who~le new world…" Nina jumped in on the chorus with her soft voice. "A new fantastic point of vie~w. No one to tell us no or where to g~o. Or say we're only dreaming…"

_**Lily held Nina's hand tightly as she pulled her through her home city of San Francisco, running up a hill, laughing as they were trying to catch up to what Lily called the "Ricaroni" tram for a picture.** _

"_A WHOLE NEW WO~RLD!"_ Gailana's and Madeline's heads suddenly jumped in front of Lily blocking her view, making Nina laugh. They began singing face to face in a cheesy romantic way. "_A DAZZLING PLACE I NEVER KNEW! BUT WHEN I'M WAY UP HERE! IT'S CRYSTAL CLEAR! THAT NOW I'M IN A WHOLE NEW WORLD WITH YO~U!"  
_

_I'm not in pain._

_I'm in love…_

_I am in a whole new world._

"Ugh, would you two just lez out and make out already?" Lily grabbed the two interrupters and pushed them gently off camera. "We've all been waiting for like a year now."

Gailana and Madeline snickered to themselves as their skydiving partners just shrugged their shoulders. A voice over P.A. rang through the airplane signaling a minute until the landing zone target was hit.

"_Well… that's my call."_

"Please be careful Lily. Come down safely to me or I will be… upset."

"_There's going to be camera on me. On my wrist. And on my helmet."_ Lily grabbed the camera, Nina seeing it bobble on one of her many webcam views, realizing that her girlfriend was talking actually through her helmet. _"You have the best seat in the house Nina."_

"Lucky me…"

"_Alright door's going to open. Everyone double check safety procedures_." The lead skydiver shouted.

"_We've seen the U.S. together on the tour and I showed you around my hometown."_ Lily spoke into her microphone in the helmet as Nina could only see what she saw now. _"Now I'll show you where he birds hang out. Sound fun?"_

"You're always fun…"

"_I promise one day you will be on a plane with me and experience this_." Lily waved her hand in front of her face so Nina could see. "_This is as close to flying as we'll ever get. It's amazing."_

"I wish… I had the courage to."

"_You will_." Lily said it like a guarantee, Nina knowing her girlfriend always seemed to make them a reality. The only ballerina without a skydiving expert's aid breathed calm as the cargo door opened, taking a peak out, looking 18,000 feet down to clouds and deep blue. _"… How's the view?"_

Nina just stared dumbfounded at the magnificent sight, seeing what a bird would see. What a Swan… would see.

"It's… beautiful."

"_Okay Chuck. Y-you get me down there safe? I'll marry you! We'll have as many kids as you like!"_ Gailana felt the chills in her knees, staring at the titanic plunge she was about to take. Getting on first name basis was normal. Skydiving instructors get to know their students fast.

"_Uh Gailana I'm happily married. A simple thank you will be fine."_

"_Your wife lets you do this everyday?"_

"_Have fun Gailana!"_ Lily's camera was on her hesitant face.

"_God I feel so stupid Madeline. Why did I let you talk me into this? W-wait maybe I-GAAAAAH!"_ Were the last words Gailana stuttered before her instructor bolted them out of the door, the first swan being sent flying, her yell echoing through the blue. Nina just gasped even watching that, imagining what it was like to just let go in the bravest way possible. This was no stage dive to a mattress... and it wasn't even Thomas shouting at her to let the Black Swan out. This was really "letting go".

Madeline's turn was next, her instructor a bit more humorous apparently. _"I'll certainly marry you if you'd like."_

"_Let's just jump dude… get this over with."_ Madeline was pumped. "See you on the ground Lily. Hopefully our bones will be in tact."

"_Just start flapping your wings like you're in Swan Lake again if all else fails."_ Lily patted her shoulder.

"_Totally…. HERE WE GO!"_ Madeline was pushed out next, tumbling in her free fall with a bit more grace.

"_Guess it's my turn dear."_ Lily turned her wrist camera to her helmeted face. _"See you when I get down there."_

"I love you. Be safe. And… have fun." Nina blew her a kiss... a nervous kiss.

"_I will. Just see what I see and enjoy."_

The air rush was imminent. A small nod and a backflip later, Lily's black clad body began its surreal plummet towards the ground in a weightless decent, a skydiver with a camera right on her tail. As Nina watched from all angles she could only hold her breath.

From high above, the air rushes against her and Lily's loud yell of a thrill seeker actually calmed Nina. She was always so cool. Just like in anything else in her life, not even the sky and the winds could contain the calming aura that was Lily. Cloud zoomed by breaking apart in vapors, the clear vision of a skydiver as breathtaking as anyone could imagine.

_Unbelievable sights  
__Indescribable feeling  
__Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling  
__Through an endless diamond sky_

"_How does it look?"_ Lily shouted in her helmet, stabilizing her freefall like the expert she was.

"Its… a-amazing." Nina couldn't take her eyes off the screen, wondering what it was like to be a blazing object tumbling in a freefall from the heavens.

Lily began to tuck and roll; doing spins and twirls as she zoomed past Madeline and Gailana who were both speechless and breathless in their dive as well. Nina watched her daredevil love with only admiration, appreciating her catalyst to what she was seeing now. Everything was clearer and better with Lily. This was just a culmination of their relationship. She could actually _see_ now. Not just this sky view. She saw, fought for, and found the life she could only dream of a year ago.

The life in that old apartment. The life of a painful dancer. The life of an overburdened daughter. The life of a hopeless perfectionist.

It was all gone.

_A whole new world  
__Don't you dare close your eyes!  
__A hundred thousand things to see  
__Hold your breath - it gets better_

_I'm like a shooting star  
__I've come so far  
__I can't go back to where I used to be_

Lily in all black was really like the Black Swan taking flight, twirling now in almost air spins, mimicking a pirouette quite nicely for someone soaring through the air. She knew who her favorite onlooker was and did it for her. Nina was as worried now as she was amazed. Lynn sat next to Nina, laughing excited as she watched Lily in her plummet.

"Go Lily!"

"Dang Lily _is _crazy." Veronica stood next to Nina now as well, drinking her fruit beverage while shaking her head. Nina could only watch on like she had been doing so when Lily took over for her Swan Lake gig for that good amount of time. The memories, even the worse ones, didn't seem so bad anymore.

… _Crazy?_

"The good kind of crazy…" Nina corrected slightly with a smirk. "That's my Lily…"

_A whole new world  
__Every turn a surprise  
__With new horizons to pursue  
__Every moment red-letter_

_I'll chase them anywhere  
__There's time to spare  
__Let me share this whole new world with you_

The event went by faster than Nina thought, her heart thumping as she was watching Lily slowly descend with her parachute engaged. Within moments she landed on the ground with a graceful two step, her giant parachute falling like a backdrop of white behind her. Nina was all smiles rushing out without contained feelings, Lily taking her helmet off and disconnecting herself from the safety hooks. From afar a crowd who was watching was cheering for their Flying Swan, Lily turning back and waving to them.

"Sky conquered." Lily gave a little victory swerve as Nina ran into her in a tight embrace. "How was it for you pretty eyes?"

"You looked like a pro up there…" Nina clung tightly, head to her shoulder, feeling the warmth and intact body of her lover. They could both feel their hearts racing together, one in the same beat. "But please don't do that again… at least for a long time."

"I think I got it out of my system. Half of me's still in the air I think." Lily held Nina while trying to catch her breath, looking like some superhero in her getup. "The world looks so nice from up high Nina…"

"Let's see the whole world together from a little closer to the ground before you try convincing me to do this okay?"

"You little chicken Swan…"

From behind Gailana and Madeline finally finished their slower descent, the younger of the two hitting the floor once she was disconnected, kissing the ground, no matter how dirty it was.

"I love ground… I love ground… I love ground…"

"Gailana come on…" Madeline sighed, shaking off the most intense fun and fear in her life. Lily and Madeline shared a finger point of approval, both of them mockingly mimicking their ballerina moves with a flap of their 'wings'.

Veronica and Lynn began strolling over with congratulatory claps to their two home girls as they embraced in compliments, the rest of the cast soon joining. Lily and Nina held tightly as the pictures flashed and the other ballet performers were hooting and hollering. In retrospect, this was the reality they created. Seeing the world. Being successful in ballet beyond their imaginations. Getting along with their sisterhood of Swans that used to be a den of jealousy and anger.

It started with so much pain but this was how life was for Lily and Nina now. Like the White Swan's death, sacrifice bred this. Everything else around them… almost faded into the background like the Swan Lake backdrop itself.

"I can't believe it's been almost a year already." Nina whispers at Lily, peaking at the party all around them. "… I can't believe this is my life right now. I mean… our life right now. I'd say this is a dream but… I couldn't even imagine this."

"Sometimes things in life do work out_ perfectly_ I guess." Lily felt Nina's head brush against hers, their foreheads together. "Enjoy it while it lasts Nina…"

"I won't let this end…"

_A whole new world  
__That's where we'll be  
__A thrilling chase  
__A wondrous place_

_For you… and me_

- B – B – B –

(Months Later | _Leroy and Sayers _Ballet Studio)

The mood in the newest uptown dance studio in New York was an anxious one. For months the search for the New Swan Queen was an intense tryout, stretching across the entire United States. Smaller regional tryouts in each of the major cities whittled down 10,000 applicants to the scant twenty that were in the studio. All of them felt the heavy pressure, even with all the rest of the girls they had passed just to get here.

A wheelchair rolls into the main dancing hall, the white room with mirrors reflecting the old site. From behind the woman they all came to replace and be choreographed by walked in with authority. She was in a long snow white coat, her hair let flowing and not in a bun, having the most beautiful face this place had to offer. Last year she was one of the girls at the practice bar… trying to impress the great Thomas Leroy. Now? She was Thomas Leroy.

_Oh my God it's Nina Sayers…_

That's what everyone was thinking. This was the ticket to their dreams.

"Hello everyone." Nina's voice was soft but defined, pulling out a clipboard. "Welcome to New York those who are from out of town. Congratulations on being the last twenty."

Her claps egged on the rest of the ballerina hopefuls to clap as well.

"So I see a few old faces but most of you are new." Nina walked around scouting, nodding towards Veronica and a few others. "For those that don't know me I'm Nina Sayers, the co-choreographer and producer of Swans. I know you all worked hard to get here and I hope to get to know each and every one of you better as these last weeks of tryouts are completed."

Some of the girls were fangirling out at the sight of Nina, and Ms. Sayers could tell smiling gently at them. She wasn't an intimidator like Thomas. She was a cute respect demander.

"I know this is an intense time but I want you all just to take a deep breath, and relax. Trust me, being tense works for only half the role." Nina stood center next to the more mature woman in the wheelchair. "Today is preliminary tryouts. You'll have many chances to impress us. As you can see Thomas isn't with me this morning . He's running a little late."

"… Getting old Leroy." The veteran Beth chuckles to herself from below, Nina smirking at the comment as all the girls followed.

"I won't be the only one making the decisions about who becomes the Swan Queen. We have Beth McIntyre here, Thomas, and a few sponsors who will be making the final decision." Nina had a hand on Beth's shoulder. "Now, let's get this started. You should have received an e-mail sent to each of you that I didn't want one soul to come here with ballet attire on."

The girls all nodded, looking at one another, indeed wondering why.

"The Swan Lake orchestral music? Those pirouettes? Those moves you've been practicing over and over in the mirror? Forget them." Nina looked at them all with the most honest eyes. She was one of these girls not too long ago, the most extreme example. "That hard work will pay off. But right now I want you all to forget. My first exercise has nothing to do with ballet directly. This is about dance communication and improvisation."

The girls were more puzzled than captured monkeys. Beth could only sigh to herself at new age techniques of the youngins.

Nina began walking towards the far side of the wall. "Yes, it's crazy. I'm telling each of you to do the exact opposite you've been doing for the past months. I'm going to play music I chose randomly. Each of you will have to dance the song from start to end without doing one ballet move. If I see one? You will be asked kindly to sit down."

They all blinked. They were in a ballet studio not doing... ballet?

"Hip hop, country swing, jazz contemporary. Give me anything." Nina explained. "The Black Swan doesn't follow rules. The Black Swan doesn't care. You have to be able to communicate yourself in as many ways possible through your body." She pointed. "From the left to the right. Don't think. Have fun. Good luck everyone."

Nina snugly pressed the button to the boom box and they were off. Nina and Beth went into the monitoring room, using the multitude of set up cameras as well as a higher plateau to watch the girls go at this preliminary and unorthodox exercise. Clearly Lily's influence on Nina was at the heart of this.

_Hey. Hey.  
__Bye! Bye! Bye!  
__Bye! Bye!_

"Well it's certainly making them laugh," Beth was being analytical and amused, this being the first time she had been part of a recruiting session as a recruiter. This was also definitely the first time she saw anyone ask ballet dancers to freely dance different styles and be critiqued.

"Laughter is important." Nina watched closely as well, knowing the results were coming. The girls were actually so much more talkative and supportive now than minutes ago, dancing styles they did in their free time rather than the constriction that was ballet. "I needed some laughter that first time around and I never got it."

"I know what you mean." Beth glanced over at the dancer that replaced her with an admiration that had grown from disdain; she too amazed how they were now genuine friends.

_**"He always said you were a frigid little girl. What'd you do to get this part?"**_

Beth remembers clearly, even when she was drunk how she treated Nina, with pure jealousy. Nina worked so hard to repair and build relationships. Her work ethic at ballet translated to her life now because of Lily. Beth and Nina weren't too different at all. The same girl, probably in different parts of their professional lives. Both were broken and talented dancers… now healed and better than ever.

"We need to kill the tension right off the bat." Nina checked closely at the smiles on each of the dancers that weren't there ten minutes ago. "I am not running an ensemble that is anything like I've experienced. Where anyone feels isolated and alone."

Nina's bad memories fueled her philosophy.

"Huh, you really are turning into quite the teacher." Beth complimented. "Taking the reins in your own style."

"Just learning from past mistakes," Nina didn't take the compliment, looking at the monitors closer as she was beginning to pick out the standout girls. She was looking more for attitude rather than technical prowess when it came to this. A few names were already popping up on her clipboard. Black Swans… she needed Black Swans…

Nina hears the metal door open behind her, seeing a reflection of two winged tattoos in the mirror flash across, smiling instantly at the recognizable image. "Lily you're late again."

The voice that followed didn't compute.

"Heh, I think you got the wrong girl."

Nina turned to see something unexpected. Something different. Something she totally couldn't stop looking at.

The woman standing in front of her looked like someone from the glory of Hollywood, dressed in black tight designer jeans and a red skimpy spaghetti strap top that showed more skin than anyone would around these parts. Her body was lean like a dancer but wasn't frail in the least bit. Shapely, curvy, and powerful. Nina started low from the toned legs, all the way up to the mid-riff any woman would die for. Up to her budding chest where the cleavage was quite revealed, up to a flawless face, eyes covered with expensive dark sunglasses.

Deep crimson lips. Pitch black hair. Pure white. Her skin looked like the most pure white.

The silence was getting a bit ridiculous for the newcomer.

"So uh, I got lost and I think I just went through the backdoor… I'm from California and-whoa-wait a sec." The girl walked forward grabbing her sunglasses, approaching with a big smile as she inspected closer. "I really can't believe it. Holy hell, you're Nina Sayers!"

Nina couldn't get over this girl with the same tattoos as her lover. "Y-yes… a-and… you?"

"The name's Jade." Those sunglasses came off, showing the most piercing dark eyes… both in color and in tone. "I'm one of the finalists. Sorry for being late."

"Jade…"

"You mentioned Lily right?" Jade chuckled a bit, doing so like a fun girl from California would. "I actually go way back with her. Is she around?"

"N-no not yet…"

"Oh by the way I am so happy she's dating such a catch." Jade glanced up and down, making Nina feel like she was almost naked like Thomas used to do. "You are such an inspiration to me Ms. Sayers. I gave up everything for this opportunity to dance the role in Swans. This part is made for me."

"T-thanks, I'm flattered." Nina was still trying to catch up clearly. _She seems nice…_

"Uh… Nina… can we get Jade down there now so she can join in? We're on a tight schedule." Beth cleared her throat.

"R-right um, can you take her down and explain the exercise Beth?"

"Sure thing. This way Jade." Beth rolled away.

"Awesome. It's going to be a dream working with you Nina." Jade smiled beautifully in a way Nina couldn't react to, waving as she followed Beth, her revealing back once again flashing, two dark wings inked into soft skin.

_**"There's another girl with the same tattoos as me… Fallen angel's wings…"**_

_It has to be her… _

- B – B – B –

_I'm doin' this tonight girl,  
__You're probably gonna start a fight.  
__I, know this can't be right.  
__Hey baby come on..._

_I loved you endlessly,  
__Even when you weren't there for me.  
__So, now it's time to leave  
And make it alone_

The ballerinas that knew Lily personally were puzzled the minute they saw those familiar tattoos on the shoulder blades. But as Jade began her dance routine on the fly… they almost forgot about the Lily comparisons.

Swaying hips. Playful gestures. Hard hitting moves. Even a flare came out. The rest of the ballerinas standing outside were also impressed, getting into it with rhythmic claps. Jade had the room hers the minute she walked into the place. The guys were very _nice _to her at first glance. The girls were jealous but didn't mess with her at first glance. If Lily shook the place up with her arrival? Jade had just blew the place up with a sexual grenade.

_And she… can dance._

Nina couldn't take her eyes off of Jade because of who she probably was. Now she also couldn't take her eyes off of her because of the way she moved. This was the first ballerina in the exercise that was as genuine as she was professional at it. Beth took notice as well. This girl knew how to dance professionally. She wasn't just a ballerina nor did she hide it. Of course Lily would be interested in someone like this. Of course someone like that would be interested in Lily.

_I know that I can't take no more  
__It ain't no lie!  
__I wanna see you out that door  
__Baby, bye, bye, bye..._

"Well we know who to pick now if we were recruiting for that Usher fellow." Beth tried to sound so hip.

"… W-we'll need to see how she performs in ballet… of course." Nina muttered half there.

"Timberlake has nothing on me." After a few fun steps and half the song complete Jade did something that made everyone either smirk or just look on puzzled. She began to swing into the Black Swan ballerina steps, twirling in the same reckless abandon that was the role. She stares at Nina, knowing exactly what she was doing.

_The Black Swan breaks the rules… she doesn't care._

"A perfect pirouette without proper gear… uh shouldn't she sit down technical by the rules you set…?" Beth chimed in.

"… She knows what's she's doing." Nina slowly brought the pen to the clipboard. "She doesn't… care."

"Hello everyone! I know I'm late, sorry." Lily finally walked in with a New Yorker paper in her hand as the door swung open. Nina was now in silence, wondering how to handle this situation correctly. She was coming up with no ideas.

"Hey check this Nina. They might be making a film based on your story. They're picking out actresses for us at the moment. You'll be played by Jessica Biel and I am played by Jessica Alba! Two Jessicas isn't that cool?"

"Um… Lily." Nina crossed her arms tightly, looking over to her with serious eyes.

"W-what?" Lily blinked innocently. "H-hey I said I was sorry about being late." She looked around the office. "Damn, Thomas isn't here yet. Heh, if I'd known that? I would've shown up later... is that N'sync I hear by the way?"

"Lily there's a girl named Jade here that says she knows you." Nina suddenly blurted out, not really knowing how else to put it lightly.

Lily's eyes went thin at the sound of the name. It almost felt like all the air was sucked out of her or the room and her own lungs. "What… did you say?"

"… She's dancing down there right now."

Lily tossed the newspaper down almost bitterly and glanced out the window in a combination of disbelief and wonder. The image of an old ghost came into her head, pale and dressed in blood red as far as Lily was concerned. She looked over to Nina, knowing what was going on instantly. She frustratingly opens the door and makes her way down as Jade was still putting on a show. She was still the same.

_Bye Bye  
__Don't wanna be a fool for you  
__Just another player in your game for two  
__You may hate me but it ain't no lie,_

_Baby, bye, bye, bye..._

Jade began to glide across the floor with no effort, shaking her rear in front of a few boys to some loud whooping and hollering. Lily walked in and circling to see the sight, up close and personal. She couldn't believe it, Jade was there right in front of her... again. Everyone was now looking at the two tattoo winged ballerinas wondering what was going on. History replaying itself was Lily's one big nightmare.

Jade catches a glimpse of Lily, smiling as she winks at the mere sight of her, pulling away into a hip hop collage of what she did best. Lily noticed everyone staring at them now back and forth as if they knew something was a bit fishy. The attention wasn't a good one and she knew it.

"Jade! Oh my God! It's so nice to see you!" Lily suddenly grabbed her hand mid dance. "Can we talk? Nina's seen enough of your dancing."

"Sure thing!" Jade smiled in a way that was only borderline genuine, looking at everyone who was watching the scene play out. She was snug the whole time, even being pulled outside by Lily rather forcedly, everyone just watching them leave the room.

"That hot chick has the same tattoos as Lily and they almost looked like a fighting couple there." Gailana whispered.

"If it walks like a Swan… talks like Swan… and acts like a Swan?" Madeline looked over at a concerned Nina.

"Then it is a Swan." Veronica put her two cents in a finish, looking on like anyone else. "… Awkward."

_Just hit me with the truth,  
__Now, girl you're more than welcome to.  
__So give me one good reason, _

_Baby come on!_

_I live for you and me,  
__And now I really come to see,  
__That life would be much better once you're gone._

- B – B – B -

Jade found herself outside the front door, Lily closing it behind them with a calm breath.

"So what's up old-"

BAM!

Jade felt her back hit the wall midsentence, smirking in mild surprise as Lily just shoved her into it. The calm breath was apparently just a ruse. That was totally something Lily would do.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Lily scowled.

"Hmm, nice to see you too apparently." Jade brushed herself off slowly, seemingly not too bothered or affected by the shove. "What's up with the physicality Lily my dear?"

"Don't play games with me Jade. I'm not taking your shit anymore." Lily was as furious as she ever was in New York.

"Look, I'm just here doing what nineteen other ballerinas are trying to do baby." Jade shrugged.

"Don't call me that and you told me you quit ballet a long time ago."

"And I came back. There are no rules for not coming back." Jade stated with a nod. "And even if there was I'd still break it."

"I can't fucking believe you." Lily wouldn't back down. "My life is going so great and you come back here now to what? Ruin it for me again?"

"Hey hey, is that any way to treat an old flame?" Jade crossed her arms. "Let bygones be bygones. We had good times. We were together how long again?"

"Too damn long. I've been down this road with you too many damn times." Lily growled. "Not again. Not this time Jade. No more."

"So you want me to leave?"

"What was your first clue?"

"Heh-heh and what if I don't go? You're going to force me to leave Lily?"

"If I have to."

Jade's reaction to that threat made Lily deflate as much as she grew angrier. Jade just began laughing, holding her stomach and keeling over mockingly. It was an act but it was getting the desired point across quite well. Jade was just ruthless. She wasn't intimidated by the Lily the New York ballerinas knew.

"Hah-hah-hah, wow Lily's gotten so tough in the past years huh?" A mocking finger touched red lips, not an ounce of concern. "I think everyone here probably thinks you're _something_ aren't you?" Jade made a pouty face. "I'm not them Lily. I know who you are. I knew you since you were little big eyed Lily that needed someone to take care of you."

"Shut up. I mean it." Lily pointed at her. "I won't let you ruin this life for me. I like this one too much."

"Of course you do. You have the cute and talented Nina Sayers as your love dove now." Jade shrugged. "You found your niche in life and love again. Now let me have my own dreams come true. Stop being selfish."

"One, you can never call anyone selfish. Two, Nina and I built what is going on here. "

"Oh really? Nina AND you?" Jade tilted her head. "So you were the girl who danced with the glass in your stomach? You were the girl that got famous on the internet? You were the one who crafted the new show?"

"…"

"I'm just taking some of the pie just like you did." Jade smiled suggestively. "You hooked up with your golden ticket. Let me take a measly part. I'm not ruffling your feathers Swan Queen."

"You know nothing about what went on here." Lily growled. "You think you can walk in here and take anything you want like usual?"

"I'm going through the same process everyone else is going through. I know that you have a problem with me being here but I really don't care. That other Swan Queen part's mine."

"Yeah, you don't care. That's your fucking problem. You're not in this for the ballet. You just want Nina's fame."

"Since when did you do anything _for_ ballet?" Jade laughed. "You and I used to fuck around, and get high before we danced. What's wrong with you?"

"Times change… people change... but some people don't apparently." Lily pointed quite timely. "Well _I_ did change. I care for Nina's show. I care for her."

"Aw… that's cute. Lily's a feeler now. Lily sees hearts…" Jade egged her on.

"You're not staying Jade."

"Huh, you know Miss Changed, if it makes you feel better, if I don't get the part? I'm heading back to the west coast on the quickest flight back." Jade reassured. "So I think the best thing for you to do is to light up every ballerina's little tutu covered ass in there and inspire them. Because if they're not ready? I'm going to embarrass each and every one of them just like in San Francisco years ago. I haven't lost a step."

"We'll see about that."

"Just think about it Lily. Think of the possibilities! You and me dancing together again. This time as co-leads in the biggest ballet production of all time. Just like we dreamed as little kids. It'll be fun!"

"… You're crazy."

"And we got matching tattoos! We'll look like Swan sisters just like the story! Heck we're going to be like the Mary Kate and Ashley of ballet!"

"Go to Hell Jade…" Lily stated bluntly, not amused with her sarcastic plunder.

"Heh, didn't you get the memo?" Jade began walking back into the studio. "We're faggots. All them Christians say we're all going to Hell… and_ of course _they must be right." She opened the door with a sigh. "Tough you can't handle me being here. Better get used to it 'cause I'm here for a long time dear."

That sweet rain scent of Jade rushed by Lily, memories of a past she wanted to forget rushing back as well like a runaway freight train. Jade didn't have same feelings and passed Lily nonchalantly, who was now frustratingly looking at the pavement, not knowing what to do. Her past was here, the one thing she didn't want anyone to see was here in person.

"Hey, you look good by the way." Jade sneered, looking at her from behind. "Still so cute and beautiful. I forgive your push from earlier. This is going to be so fun Lily! Just like old times! _Trust_ me."

The door closed tight and a silenced Lily knew she needed to hit something… anything.

_I don't wanna be your fool  
__In this game for two  
__So I'm leavin' you behind_

_Bye, bye, bye..._

- B – B – B –

"… Thomas, this isn't right."

"_Nina the sponsors have already decided… and you know it's the right thing to do."_

"How come I wasn't notified of this?"

"_You are being notified right now." _

Nina was clearly upset, sitting in her chair with a look of disbelief. She was in her office with Beth, having to deal with more problems as if the problem on her mind brewing with Lily was not big enough.

"Lynn has been with me since I started coming back from that injury." Nina was defending an old friend. "She's grown so much in the last year Thomas."

"_She's still too young Nina. She doesn't have the experience to learn quickly."_ Thomas was on speaker phone. _"The production as is can't have anyone that isn't fast to adapt. The twenty girls you have trying out for the Swan Queen… each of them are better candidates for her spot."_

"She's the youngest dancer here. She has potential Thomas! I see her brilliance. I was just like her-"

"_We can't baby her anymore Nina. There's no time for that and you know it better than anyone. And don't kid yourself… no one was at your level at your age."_

"B-but this ballet isn't something that comes around often. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I can't take that away from her."

"_Even more reason why we need the best dancers out there,"_ Thomas sighed. _"Nina you're making this personal. You cannot think that way in this business. Beth and everyone else agree it would be best to cut Lynn today so a spot will be opened."_

Nina took a look at Beth, who somberly nodded. "I…"

"_I am sorry my dear, but if you don't tell her, I'll be in the office in five minutes. I will tell her myself."_

_**Nina and Lily pulled Lynn to the side after watching her succeed, laughing with her as the girl with the most doubt just killed it on the stage.** _

"N-no." Nina knew what a Thomas Leroy firing was like, sighing deeply within. "I'll tell her."

"Good." Thomas paused for a few seconds. "… I told you this part would not be easy. I told you this job would not be easy."

"…"

- B – B – B –

Nina saw her come in and time was still, just a feeling of dread and emptiness in her throat as the twenty year old slid into the room. She had that perky smile as she always did, the one that made Nina smile. It was hard to forget now. Lynn was one of the girls that always supported Nina right from her return. She was like a little sister now. Never jealous. Never angry. Always listening to Nina and taking into heart her experience.

"Hey Nina, you wanted to see me?"

"Y-yeah…"

"Nina… what's going on?" Lynn blinked at the cold vibe in the room, noticing her reddened eyes. "… Were you crying?"

"… I just-"

"Oh no…" Lynn was no fool, staring at Nina with a frown as she walked over to her. She saw Nina with a few papers, and bowed her head. "The company is letting me go aren't they?"

Nina couldn't say a word. She just tapped her fingers on the desk trying to suppress whatever wanted to come out of her, shaking a little in her knees. Lynn felt for her. She knew this wasn't easy. As usual Lynn was the little sweet heart.

"Oh Nina…" Lynn walked over to her, hugging her teacher… her old dancing peer. "It's okay…"

"I… didn't want to let you go." Nina whispered almost angrily, not feeling like she deserved any type of hug.

"I know you wouldn't. You're so biased about me." Lynn laughed gently as she held the one person that was willing to help her with moves or advice the minute she came to the company. She too felt tears well up.

"… It's not fair. I'm sorry."

"Hey hey, I got to experience a lot while being here." Lynn seemed the more composed of the two surprisingly. "Most importantly, I got to see Nina Sayers return to form. You've become something more to me than just my teacher and lead dancer. I will always be inspired by you."

Nina let out a stuttered breath as she just embraced.

_**"Don't cry Lynn. I know when Thomas yells at you it get a little hard to concentrate. But remember this rhyme. If I don't land this plié, Thomas' yells won't go away. But if I do land this plié, his yells will just be saved for another day."**_

_**"… So basically you're saying-"**_

_**"You'll be screamed at. You won't be perfect, don't beat yourself up over it."**_

_**"You probably have a lot of experience with this don't you Nina?"**_

_**"More than you can imagine."**_

_**"Thanks Nina… you're the best."**_

"I am not that angry losing the job. I am sad though." Lynn began to cry, not helping it now. Nina found it amazing she held it in this long. "I'mgoing to miss dancing with the girls that went out and made Swans what it is. I'm going to miss hanging out at new places on tour. And most importantly you. I'm going to miss having you as my guide."

"… You were an important part of all that we did here." Nina couldn't even open her eyes. "And most importantly you're my friend… I can't believe I am even doing this to you."

"You're not doing anything wrong. Stay strong, being this producer I know isn't easy." Lynn squeezed tightly only in support. "You need to do what's best for the show. I'll survive. I'll find somewhere else to grow and get better. We'll see each other again."

"… If anything happens. I'm calling you first. I promise Lynn."

"I know you will… I'm going to miss you Nina."

"Me too..."

- B – B – B –

The door opened and Nina watched Lynn step out her doors. Gailana and Madeline notice their peer's tears, already knowing the outcome of the meeting. The girls that did follow Nina on her healing journey had become close. Touring the world and having only one another forced them to become almost family. Not everything was perfect… but they at least supported one another. They didn't want to see any girl go through what Nina did as long as they were around.

"It's okay Lynn… we're here for you." Gailana held back her own crying.

"Shit…" Lily was across the room practicing, walking over, taking Lynn by her head and gently pulling her in. "You're leaving?"

"Take care of Nina okay Lily? You're… the best thing for her. Make sure she doesn't feel so guilty for me. Please?" Lynn begged with watery eyes.

"She'll be fine you little squirt." Lily tried to make her laugh and semi-succeeded. "Just take care of yourself."

"Lily, I'm going to miss you so much!" Lynn clung onto her. "You always make me laugh when I need it!"

"Hehe… you got such a long career ahead of you little girl. We'll bump into each other plenty. Keep your head up."

"I will." Lynn smiled as strong as she could.

"Hey, come get lunch with us before you take off." Madeline offered. "The guys would love to see you. They need to know.

"I'll even buy for you…" Veronica crossed her arms, shivering as she said it.

"Wow you're not being a cheapskate." Lynn giggled finally at Veronica, breathing more relaxed, knowing she still had friends here. "Alright let's go, I don't need to see this place anymore I'll just cry like a baby." She turned to Lily and smiled, then looked at Nina. "I love you Nina! Don't be too sad! I'll be fine!"

Nina just leaned at the doorway, waving, not really saying a word. Lily turned back, knowing what this had to be doing to her.

"Bye everyone!" Lynn waved, holding her face as she felt tears well up, trying her hardest to stay brave. Madeline and Gailana took her and pulled her along, trying to pull their jokes to get her back up.

The minute she left Nina slowly walked back into her office. BAM! A loud slam of the door made everyone in the studio, swing their heads over her direction.

"Hehehehe"

Lily blinked, hearing Jade suddenly laugh, not believing someone could be so insensitive. Everyone turned ready to thrash her but noticed she was on her phone in an amusing discussion apparently.

"Oh… crap." Jade looked around innocently, mouthing the words "sorry" as she walked outside to take the call. Lily shook her head, knowing that this was only the starting point between her and Jade. What else could go wrong today?

"Um Lily… maybe you should go talk to-"

"I'm on it." Lily finished for Beth as she broke her glare away from Jade, walking towards the office of someone she loved now.

- B – B – B –

Lily's head slowly peaked into the door as she opened it slowly, hearing a familiar sound. The sound of "A Swan is Born", playing in chimes from that music box Nina used to keep in her room rang into her ears. She closed the door behind, looking as Nina sat at her desk looking so shaken up, staring at the dancing toy in her hands like a puppet. Nina told Lily that the box reminded her of good times… as well as bad times.

"I'm so angry… right now." Nina whispers.

"Uh… I think everyone in the building knows you're angry." Lily looked back. "Especially the door."

"… H-how can I take someone's dream away?" Nina sobbed suddenly, holding her eyes tight trying to contain her emotion. "I… have no right to do that to anyone."

"Aw come on Nina… Lynn will be fine."

"I was a thread away from losing my life, and someone blessed me with you." Nina was beside herself. "Who gives me the right to destroy someone's dreams?"

"Hey. Stop." Lily walked over, kneeling down with her. "… This wasn't your decision."

"I didn't do anything to stop it." Nina shook her head. "I know what it feels like to pour everything you have into your passion and be shot down. I was that girl! I was the one that feared being let go. And now…"

"Nina this is part of your job. I don't see how you can cry and beat yourself up every time you have to let someone go that you like. This is the way it works."

"I wanted to make dreams come true. I wanted to make people happy. This isn't what I wanted…"

"That's a perfect job you're describing…" Lily informed. "You got to take the bad and the good."

"She was like me! She was like a sister to me!" Nina shut the box, closing it angrily. "When she struggled I saw myself struggling. When she succeeded I saw myself succeeding. I was the one that just fired her. What does this say about me?"

"… I see someone with a heart, trying to do their job the best she can." Lily suddenly kissed Nina's chin, calming her somewhat. "Lynn understands that your hands are tied. She's young but she isn't stupid."

"… It just hurts Lily…" Nina's cheeks were flowing rivers now, replying by kissing Lily back on her lips. "… I don't know if I can do this to any of the girls anymore."

_Giving up?_

_That's not Nina Sayers at all…_

"Mmm, you won't give up, that's not you." Lily tried to hold back her passion. Kissing Nina into a lustful make out session was a bad idea, knowing this was a serious time. "… You've created something amazing Nina. Don't stop. This is something you'll just have to learn to deal with."

In their empathy, they both kind of realized something in the moment. Lily criticized Thomas for not being warm or fuzzy once long ago. Really, how could you be warm and fuzzy with this type of job?

"… W-why did she have to be the first one? Who's next?"

"Look I'll call Lynn tonight, maybe we can have dinner together okay?"

"Yes… I'd like that."

"Good, now please pull yourself together. You're doing great." Lily stroked her girlfriend's hair, taking a tissue on the desk and wiping her eyes.

"How are_ you_ doing?" Nina asked lightly letting herself be cared for by Lily, knowing of the other elephant in the room.

"You mean with… her?" Lily didn't even want to say the name in front of Nina. She finished with one last wipe.

"… Yeah… her." Nina followed suit.

"… Let me deal with that for now. You got a lot on your plate." Lily kissed her cheek. "Please don't concern yourself with her. I'm done with her. I'm pissed off she's here."

"I know, I could hear you yelling earlier."

"Fuck, so my dirty laundry is out for everyone to see." Lily sighed annoyed. She then held Nina close. "Just to warn you though before we shut this case. I don't think any of you guys should pick Jade as the lead. She's a cancer. She can dance… I know. But she will ruin things. That's what she does best."

"… I always trust you Lily."

Lily smiled as she was determined not to let these new problems get in the way of their happiness. Nina shared that determination, but was also curious about Lily's past_. _She realized that being so... kind... she never wanted to push the issue of the past. Lily didn't seem so game on speaking about it.

"Good… now can we get some lunch and leave this hellhole for a bit? I feel like I've just been bombarded by bombs."

"I… have to wait for Thomas, to discuss the choreography in the last act. I'm… sorry."

"Ugh, that's alright. It's just another lonely lunch without my busy babe." Lily sighed. The job apparently had other bad consequences. These two lovebirds had less and less time to spend with one another.

"… You're making me feel worse."

"S-sorry… heh, does it make you feel better that ironically… I'm the one that's actually hot for teacher?"

"I don't… blame you-mm…" Nina felt a warm tongue slide into her mouth, a passionate kiss her medicine from Dr. Lily.

It never failed. It did make her feel better.

For now…

* * *

**A/N: **If this Megan Fox is a poison..? Then Go Dr. Lily!

My updates I don't think will be as furious as I had for the last couple of ones. Things are starting to pile up on me. I will try my best. Much love.


	3. Chapter Two: In Your Words

**Chapter Two: In Your Words**

The first day of tryouts was done and the frontrunners were already obvious. Nina wasn't a fan of the process of choosing and eliminating but with the night mostly done she was back to what she actually loved doing. Staging and laying out performances.

It was strange watching herself dance and not actually critiquing herself. Nina remembered exactly what it was like for her a year ago_. Do it better. Your form is off. Why can't you just get it right every damn time? _Nina knew better than anyone that no one put more pressure on herself than she did. It was a time where nothing else mattered around her or even to the point that nothing else existed. That was Nina, the obsessed dancer of old. That was the Nina before meeting Lily.

Ironically it was almost the same in terms of her professional life. Except her vision was no longer tunneled.

_The whole picture. Something's missing in the finale. But what?_

Renowned choreographer Nina was watching a Chicago performance of Swans with intense eyes, trying to imagine what was exactly off about the stage action in the final act. Lily was doing her thing, dancing fantastically and freely. The stage mirrors were all working fine. She was dancing like the virtuoso she was as usual. It all looked fine… but something just wasn't _right._ It was_ killing_ her but Nina couldn't quite put a finger on it yet.

"Always here Nina… you're nuts about this job aren't you?"

Nina twitched inside at her assistant's words. She hated being called anything remotely to nuts… or crazy. Beth should have known better.

"Beth… Thomas." Nina glanced over the top of her notebook not so neighborly, acknowledging her fellow office peers with a busy nod.

"What are you doing here still?" Beth rolled into the room.

"I'm just overlooking… some details before the choreography session tomorrow." Nina's eyes snaked back towards her monitor as fast as she rolled up. "Just taking… notes."

"Huh, Nina its 9 o clock. Shouldn't you be getting ready to go out with a certain _someone?" _Beth simpered with that hint, knowing how much Lily would brag about being the only person to ever get reserved Nina to let loose. At least Beth would hear it constantly. While Nina and Beth were friends and business associates? Lily and Beth had become complete banter buddies.

"… Don't worry about me. I'll close up when I leave."

Beth and Thomas felt the eerie nostalgia.

"As much change that has gone on here. I guess something's never change." Thomas said with reverence.

All of them for just a split second remembered all the moments that happened in the first reiteration of Swan Lake. Nina's struggles. Their… turmoil and relationships. Of all the memories Nina tried to forget? Biting that lip of Thomas and that kiss were the most regretful. She knew Beth wouldn't be too amused with either story and she knew Thomas would never forget them. It was surreal running through the memories, especially with these two.

Sitting across from the two figures she always put above her on a professional level – Nina still couldn't get used to being their equal peers.

"Beth and I are meeting with a new group willing to invest in the production." Thomas said with a bit of disappointment. "… I really miss the old days where I could just concentrate on things that mattered. Strange things… like… ballet."

"Don't be the usual square." Beth rolled her eyes. "What we're doing here is historical. What I'd give to be able to be a part of this on stage."

Nina in her silence understood them both. The artist and entertainer in her wanted to push this new production as far as it would go. It had already reached heights she could never dream of. But… a little urge inside to bring it back to the small production… where it was just pure ballet always nudged at her. She missed that part of her old life. Where her dance was all she had to worry about.

"By the way, I am proud how you handled Lynn today Nina. I know it was hard for you but-"

"Please Thomas. It's done." Nina said her first words in the conversation so firmly the room's vibe felt dark. The tension was still there clearly. Thomas gave Beth a look and was replied with a clueless shrug.

"Fair enough… on another note, I am sure you already have your favorites to replace you?" Thomas changed the subject expertly.

"I see three… right now." Nina answered... softly calm.

"Really Nina? I see only two that are clearly above the rest." Beth recalled the intense first practice. "Veronica. Jade."

Nina knew she lied. She really only had one unbiased favorite if anyone forced an answer out of her. Even Veronica's experience couldn't stop Jade's… raw and unlimited potential for the role of the Swan Queen.

"I am quite surprised I haven't heard anything of this Jade." Thomas wondered as he tapped his defined chin. "She dances like she's been doing it at the highest level for years. Her files say that she hasn't danced ballet since 2009. That isn't... a common occurrence."

… _Please don't talk about this now._

"Between her and Lily there must be something in the water in Frisco Thomas." Beth assessed with amusement.

_Jade_

_Lily…_

_Ugh…_

Nina's slightly annoyed body language got Beth's attention as unlike Thomas… she knew what was going on. It was definitely a girl thing. The older woman got caught looking at her watch, needing to create a diversion and Nina knew it. "Come on Thomas. W-we better get going. Old rich men hate to wait you know?"

Nina and Thomas could only sigh at that nervous comment. Beth in her hay day probably had a lot of _experience_ with _old rich men. _It wasn't a wise choice of words for the first Swan Lake star.

"Er… bye Nina." Beth waved as she was being pushed out.

"… By the way I need those notes on my desk tomorrow Ms. Sayers." Thomas also reminded.

"… Have fun you two." Nina's stare never left her work as Beth and Thomas walked off with the same admiration and slight pity for her. It was clear Nina was still the workhorse of the company, even just as a backstage presence. Performing dancer or not it was really the same. She was working all day and night. She was naturally a loner in her work. Even after all the changes with Lily… it was no surprise that it just the way she was.

The first one in the building.

Always the last one out of it.

- B – B – B –

After an attentive hour, another long day was in the books for Nina Sayers. A last flip of the light switch and Nina was about ready to take off from the premises in a rushed hurry. She didn't want to be late for the dinner but the busy bee in her sure made it a struggle. Nina did a double check on her things half-looking, going through her large white bag that sat on the floor. Content with her findings she took a last secure glance around as she grabbed her belongings by the ready to shut the entrance.

_Nina…_

Nina gasped as a rush of wind felt like it hit her in the chest as if someone punched her. In the mirror was an old horror, staring into an old face she thought she was done seeing. The black make up. The Swan's blood eyes… the white skin. It couldn't be…

"_Hey… Nina…"_

Nina let out a scream that echoed throughout the building when a cold hand touched her neck, feeling her heartbeat stop almost as she backed away in a tripping fall. She hit the lights as she staggered against the mirror wall, seeing someone holding their chest desperately, staring dumbly at her like they were looking at a psycho.

"Holy fuck, what was that?"

"Jade!" Nina was panting as she clutched her own aching chest now, leaning against the mirror barely standing. "Why are you still here!"

"J-jeez… sorry I startled you." Jade was rubbing her ears because of the scream, never quite hearing something like that. "The lights went out and I couldn't adjust my eyes. I couldn't see you until you were so close. Are you okay?"

"Y-yes b-but w-what are you still doing here?" Nina tried to catch her breath, still feeling the goose bumps.

"I… I was just practicing." Jade recovered now with a big smile. "I figured first day… I should push it till I drop right?"

_No… one should do that._

"I… I haven't seen anyone in the last hour." Nina was still recovering slowly. At least she was standing on her two feet now, brushing herself off. "I didn't see you practicing."

"Oh… well… I _was _practicing. Heh, I got kind of comfy when I was taking a break in the locker room." Jade laughed. "And uh, I took a little nap on that nice couch you guys have inside. A good three hour one."

"J-just tell me next time. I could've locked you in here without knowing!"

"Well then, I would've got a lot more practice than I thought I would then." Jade smirked. "It's all good right?"

Nina composed herself as she shook off the initial shock. She never noticed it until now but Jade… in the dark… kind of looked like that haunting vision of her past. Like a Black Swan without any make up or touching up. It was a freaky thought… but Nina was just glad it was okay and it was real. She wasn't going crazy… again.

"Um… are you ready to leave? I am in a bit of a… hurry."

"Ah, meeting up with Lily huh?" Jade said it so nicely Nina had to do a double take. She walked by Nina with a sigh, showing she too had something to get off her chest. "Before you go can I just have a minute with you? Please?"

Most of Nina wanted to ignore this problem. A curiosity and glutton for punishment inside her wanted to delve into this girl's past. Lily… would never speak about it. Who better to learn from than a long-term previous lover? Lily's only long term girlfriend…

"… Jade really I-"

"I know you're in a hurry but I just have this feeling that you right off the bat don't trust me. Am I right?"

"Look-"

"I know Lily hasn't painted the most flattering picture of me. I get it."

_That's the understatement of the year._

"But I don't want my past with her to affect my chances for my dream job Nina." Jade crossed her arms tight. "I don't think it's fair to judge someone by what they did three years ago only you know?"

"I… I agree Jade." Nina nodded softly. If Nina was judged by the way she was years ago… she'd probably not even be here today.

"Let's not kid ourselves. Lily is a doll, I know and you know it. But she's hardheaded too. Her memories of what happened are her versions. Not exactly an unbiased truth. I don't want to start a slam war between us. I just want a clean slate… and to be judged fairly. You two are together now. Let me just be Jade… okay? Not… the other woman."

"Jade… we're professional here. We're going to judge you on the dance floor and nothing else." Nina reassured. "That I promise you."

"T-thanks Nina! You are really as nice as they say." Jade grinned huge as she clapped. "Have fun tonight! Tell Lily I said hi even though she'll probably roll her eyes. H-hey, where are you two headed tonight anyway?"

"Uh… sushi bar. Having dinner with one of the girls that got cut today."

"Aw… Lynn right? Poor girl. I hope she's doing okay." Jade said it quite genuinely and began to walk out at that as Nina followed, keeping an eye on this girl she didn't know she could trust or not. She seemed nice but… that's what Lily warned her about. Nina had a guess about Jade's destination. Probably some club…

"A-and where you going tonight Jade?"

"Heh, some of the boys invited me to a club nearby. Rumps…"

_I wasn't thinking a strip club…_

"T-that's a strip club."

"Well uh… dancing on a pole is fine unless you keep doing it over and over again right?" Jade laughed patting Nina on the shoulder, like they were old friends from a storied past.

"Heh… right."

"Lily and I used to crash places like that all the time. It's nice seeing her calmer and more… normal now with you." Jade winked. "You're the best thing that's happened to her Ms. Sayers."

Normal? Calm? Nina had almost forgot what Lily was before they became really close. She used to be so unpredictable and wild… did she change her?

"I… uh… thanks…"

"Just need to check my hair do and see if I'm good real quick." Jade took a fast glance in the mirror, adjusting herself from head to toe like the pretty girl she was. She ran a finger through her hair. She made sure those jean shorts rode… short. The little breast manipulation to get that cleavage perking up caught Nina's eye. Jade really was the prototypical pretty girl from California. Confident. Sexual. She was a vision to what Lily used to do all the time… party. Party. Party.

"How do I look Nina? Would you go out with me if you were single?"

Nina didn't even listen. Her eyes suddenly got stuck on Jade's lower half… a tramp stamp right above a nice firm little ballerina's rear.

"Huh, are you staring at my ass Nina?"

"… Wha-what?" Nina blushed as she turned her head upwards ashamed. "N-no… I was… I was staring at your tattoo."

"Oh… hehe… I was kidding by the way." Jade smirked as she looked back, shaking her hips a few times. "Nice though huh?"

"How do you read that?"

"Meshuggah… it's Yiddish."

"… What does it mean?" Nina calmly brought her head back, blinking a few times.

Jade turned around quite suggestively, pausing in thought with those lips pouty and playful, slowly breaking a smile. "You know what? Why don't you research it and tell me what you find tomorrow. It'd be more fun that way. More mysterious you know? … I know you're a girl that doesn't like things given to her. Just like me…"

_Just like you…_

"… Alright." Nina just kept staring away as Jade gave her a pleasant wave. Apprehension from a being past lover with Lily. Intrigue from a gorgeous body. Cluelessness from her playful personality. And fear… from what should represent. No one made Nina feel split on opinion since… Lily herself.

"Shit, I'm late. Later teach… See ya tomorrow!"

"Bye…"

And with that she was gone like a specter in the night. A ghost to a past Nina never thought she'd learn about. Lily's past was something she never bothered to try and uncover. Jade was leaving her with very little choice.

- B – B – B –

She was late again. Nina rushed into the Japanese restaurant Samurai after a rapid taxi cab ride, walking towards the VIP section in the back room. After being greeted kindly by the hostess she saw Lily and Lynn sitting with Rick… a male dancer from the ensemble.

"Nina!" Lynn waved happily.

"Early to practice, late for the fun." Lily blew her a kiss from afar. "The routine isn't a healthy one dear."

"Sorry everyone…" Nina snuck over bashfully, hugging Lynn and Rick before going to her seat, Lily kissing her on the cheek as she sat down. Lily's kisses made her instantly warm, returning the favor gingerly like the cute couple they were. Rick and Lynn only goaded them with just as cute faces.

"Oh stop it you two." Lily shook her head at them. "Why don't you two kiss and let us stare at you like you're puppies."

The two bashfully turned away when the tables were turned.

"Yeah that's what I thought." Lily had her hand on Nina's leg underneath. "I ordered for you. Sashimi platter… no rice."

"Thanks Lily…" Nina clasped hands underneath the table with her lover, intertwining their fingers.

"What can I say? She likes it raw… like me."

Lily had a dirty mouth. Nina loved and hated it.

"Hah! I always love your sexual tension in your words Lily. I'm gonna miss it." Lynn giggled.

"Oh Lynn! Tell Nina the good news before she starts breaking down and crying again please."

"What good news?"

"Well… apparently, my phone has been ringing off the hook with offers from other ballet ensembles. Being a part of your group apparently makes you really wanted!" Lynn smiled big.

"T-that's… that's wonderful." Nina had a great smile on her again feeling a bit of guilt soar off and into the sky, Lily tightening her grip on her hand. "I'm so happy for you."

"It will work out… I know it will. I owe you so much Nina. Please don't feel bad again like you did today." Lynn pleaded.

"I'll try not to."

"Hey Rick didn't you say you wanted to challenge Lynn to a game of Street Fighter II?"

"Oh yeah… Lynn said… she was good at it right?" Rick chimed in for the first time. "What do you say Lynn? Loser has to down two shots of Sake?"

"B-but I'm under aged…"

"No one's looking… Rick you have a deal. Go start it!" Lily made the agreement while Lynn kept grimacing to not agree to the terms. Rick the young kid bolted towards the arcade machine, ready to go.

"Lily! I don't think a game of Street Fighter is-"

"Come on… he obviously likes you. Will you make your move already?" Lily pushed her to do it. "GET HIM."

"I already lost my job today. I don't need to lose my self-esteem if he doesn't-"

"Lynn be a woman and go get him. You like him too… stop being a little priss. If you don't leave right now, I'm going to tell him myself."

"Fine… fine… fine…" Lynn scowled, as the young girl looked at Nina. "How can you deal with this day in and day out?"

"… Miracles happen." Nina laughed lightly as Lily was quite content with herself. The two lovebirds watched as two young and more typical romancers were flirting. Watching Lynn laugh as she was playing a game, and Rick helping her was making Nina so happy. What was a bad day was turning out not so bad, and actually great. That was why she loved Lily so much. Her darker Swan could turn mildew into gold.

"How was your day baby?" Lily made her intentions known, pulling Nina's face towards her and kissing her lightly.

"You just wanted alone time didn't you?"

"We~ll… I'm not getting enough of it lately… can you blame me?"

"No… no I can't…" Nina pressed her lips back into Lily as they let their passion out in small bursts. Lily held onto Nina's waist, stroking the fine material of her strapless white dress making her weak in her knees.

"Mmm.. screw the fish… can I just have you on the table right now?" Lily mumbled as she pecked Nina's bottom lip, her own almost leaf inspired black dress letting that body to die for be shown.

"D-don't tempt me… you're too good at this." Nina let out a little bit of that Black Swan growl, Lily being able to pull it out whenever she wanted. Even after a year it felt like every time they touched it was the first time. When Lily's hand reached into her inner thigh… Nina was already… ready for her. Her heart was thumping.

"Swans!"

All that sexual tension broke like a shattered glass. Nina and Lily suddenly split apart as a small Asian family… more specifically Japanese tourists were staring at them. Nina and Lily noticed that they were glancing back and forth, behind and back to them. The two Swans turned around and took notice of the large billboard that was skied above hem, a picture of the two promoting the show. Nina sighed while Lily giggled at the thought of them being stalked by huge billboard selves.

"They still haven't put that down yet?" Nina grumbled.

"Guess not…" Lily waved at the family. "H-hey! You want pictures?"

It took no time before Nina and Lily were happily taking pictures with the family, greeting them. The language barrier was a problem but Lily knew some Japanese phrases, granted most were pickup lines or dirty jokes. She kept pushing the fact she was rooting for their country and that her and Nina were trying to raise as much money as possible for the earthquake/tsunami disaster. During the photo shoot Lily noticed Nina's less than enthusiastic body language.

"… Hey what's wrong?" Lily smiled as a light flashed.

"I can never have time alone with you anymore." Nina whispers back, smiling as another camera flashed.

"… It's okay Nina. We're being famous…"

Flash!

"That's the problem…" Nina paused before turning her head. "Lily am I boring you?"

Flash! Lily's face in that picture looked a bit strange with even bigger bulging eyes. The family was content apparently now as Nina and Lily waved to them goodbye. As soon as they were out of the picture Lily held Nina's wrist and pulled her into her seat.

"What kind of question is that Nina?"

"… I… just… I've been thinking."

"About?"

"Well I know we've been having such a good time for this year. We've got to travel and our relationship has been so smooth. I haven't had time to reflect on any of it because I've just kind of put my head down… and pushed along. I don't think all this fame and traveling will occupy you anymore."

"H-hey, we're doing great aren't we?"

"Yes no problems whatsoever. I just sometimes I wonder… if I'm exciting enough for you." Nina rubbed Lily's leg. "I'm not the adventurous girl I thought I'd transform into… after I survived Opening night. I'm not the club girl that you were. I'm not as brave and outgoing as you are. Maybe it was silly to think that I could be that girl."

"Nina… if I wanted to date myself I would've just added to my sex toy collection instead of taking you."

"But I do know… sometimes you miss the old days right? I know how much you love to… have _fun._" Nina sighed. "Sometimes I feel like I'm anchoring you down. I'm always busy. I'm always not brave enough to be daring… just like the skydiving thing."

"Hey come on… I don't think you should _want_ to jump out of a plane."

"I just don't want you to think I'm boring. I don't want you to get bored of me."

"Nina… how can you be bored of a person?" Lily silenced her with a nuzzle of their noses. "Stop worrying…" She looked at her for a few seconds, blinking. "Wait a second. Did… Jade say something to you?"

That name always brought a fire out in Lily, it even made Nina a bit nervous.

"I… oh no… no… she didn't." Nina shook her head quickly, only to look down. "B-but maybe seeing her has made me think about all these things."

"Aaah…. Now it starts making a little more sense." Lily's eyes felt pity but had the utmost care.

"It's just she looks like the girl that you would want." Nina spoke her heart. "She's pretty. She's fun. She's outgoing."

"She's also crazy… and we're done. I don't see why we need to talk about her."

"I just wonder how… I measure up is all."

"Huh, my God, Nina needs her ego stroked?" Lily tilted her head playfully laughing to herself.

Nina just pouted at the notion. "I just see her. And I see _exactly_ why you wanted to be with her in the past. And I look at myself and I don't see why you'd want to be with me at all."

"Wow, really? Did you forget all we've been through already Sayers?" Lily stroked her hair softly. "That part of me is done. Why don't you give yourself more credit? This is what got you in trouble the last time right? Self-doubt and no confidence."

"… Right."

"You want to know why I want you and choose you?" Lily licked her lips. "How about the fact that you're unselfish? How about the fact that you're beautiful? How about the fact that your voice is so soft it melts me inside? How about the fact that when I see you succeed… it makes me happier than even when I get something right?"

"… Lily…"

"You're kind. You care for others. You're a relentless worker. You inspire me. You're the most talented dancer I know. And really when it comes down to it? You make me so horny all the time." Lily finished in usual fashion. "How can I possibly get bored with that?"

The waitress put down a plate of sushi, as she heard the horny line, blinking at Lily and Nina not knowing what to say. Nina just smiled to herself as she looked down with a warm embarrassment, Lily giving the waitress her own smile. "Yes… this girl turns me on. It's no secret."

The waitress in her awkward pause, dashed off hurriedly, not wanting to touch his conversation. Lily and Nina laughed as they held hands again, clasping. Lily began to work her chopstick magic, mixing soy sauce and wasabi like a pro.

"Thank you again as always…" Nina let out a breath.

"I'm going to start charging you therapy hours. Screw that Harley Quinn doctor." Lily winked.

"Heh, sometimes I just wish all this craziness of the production would just stop you know? So I can just reflect… and breathe for a second."

"You're living out a dream Nina. You can't stop. Who knows how much longer this lasts?"

"I know… but sometimes… I wish I can work on myself rather than the show." Nina tried to reflect now. "I healed so fast… so quickly. Sometimes I'm afraid I might fall back."

"I told you I won't let you fall back." Lily grabbed a piece of fish and hand fed it to her, Nina tasting the delightful food with a smile. "I love you Nina."

"I know you do…" Nina felt so pampered. "And I love you even more."

_I love you so much… I want to be perfect for you. I wish… I could be a White Swan… and more of a Black Swan so we can have more fun… together._

"Wow, foods here!" Lynn was being carried back by Rick, laughing like a schoolgirl. "Guys! I beat him! I won!"

"Wow, Rick you must suck…" Lily commented.

"I let her win… you know… because I love Sake…"

"Actually you're a smart man." Lily gave him props while pouring everyone a shot. "Okay Lynn… let's sneak one in before we get kicked out for under aged drinking."

"Ugh… fine just one."

"What do we drink to?" Nina asked as she held her small cup.

"To a bright future!" Lynn was quite excited as she and Rick apparently did some relationship talking.

"To forgetting the bad stuff in the past… and keeping only the good." Lily added.

"To success for everyone here who tries so hard to achieve it." Nina nodded.

"For… warm sake and cute Japanese chicks!" Rick finished.

"Amen to that! Bottom's up!"

- B – B – B -

The four drank quite a lot to go with their delectable fish dishes. Two of them apparently held their alcohol better than their counterparts though.

"R-r-remember when Lily almost t-t-took us into a fight…. With that big guy at the Yankees game?" Lynn slurred.

"Heh yes… I do." Rick laughed nervously as he held her up, body weight fully on him.

"Hah, wearing a Giants jersey to a Yankees game is always a good idea." Lily held onto Nina, being her own support. Nina was a bit quieter than the other drunk surely. Lynn and Nina were not the most experienced drinkers and it showed. Three shots did one in. Five did the other.

"Y-yeah… we would've kicked his… ass…" Lynn belched cutely.

"Make sure s-she… gets home… safe okay?" Nina mumbled to Rick poking him hard in the chest, slowly hugging onto Lily, trying to kiss her in rapid succession. Lily wouldn't usually avoid the sweet kissing of Nina Sayers but she needed to hail a cab with that distinct voice of hers.

"Heh, calm down Nina… we have time to do this later." Lily brushed lips as she tried to peak around. "TAXI!"

"No... now… now…" Nina mumbled in a whining way, trying to aim for Lily's mouth but was seeing double. She didn't know which one to kiss, lunging forward and missing.`

"Lynn's apartment is not too far from here. It's about a block down. We'll truck it from here guys." Rick lifted Lynn up, being ballet dancers making it quite easy. "See you two tomorrow alright?"

"Later guys! Keep in touch!" Lily waved. "Take care Lynn!"

"I LOVE YOU BOTH!" Lynn yelled out as she curled her hands around Rick. "Let's go home and m-make out! Oh Rick, drop it to the floor make me wanna say hey baby…"

"S-she seems happy…" Nina whispered with her own inner joy as she held Lily's face close.

"Of course… I told you she'd be fine."

"Woooo! SWANS!" A bunch of young college kids walked by and into a nearby bar called Smithies. A couple of the girls twirled like ballerinas drunk off their own selves, the guys whistling at the sight of the two beautiful Swan Queens. Lily turned with a simple wave and nod.

"Yo ballerinas, want to come hang tonight or what?" An overzealous or drunk male yelled out.

"L-let's go pa~~rty." Nina whined drunk as well, urging Lily to go do her usual thing of the past. This Lily… wasn't exactly as careless. She wasn't only worrying for herself anymore. She had someone she loved as her best interest.

"No no, you're going to hate me tomorrow if I let you do anymore alcohol damage dear." Lily was surprisingly the controlled one, holding her up and ignoring the invitation that she'd usually jump at.

"Aw, what's the matter? Ya'll skinny broads can't handle this machismo?"

"Heh, keep thinking that so you can sleep sunshine. All that talk usually means I have a small dick and I need to let you know." Lily shot back as she watched the college drunks blast their own for being verbally worked by San Fran's best. She got the taxi finally as Nina stayed hugged in her arms. Watching the kids sway off on their fun, Lily took a glance back. A glance at what she left behind… the loud music. The socializing… the wild fun. All that used to be an every night deal.

Because of loved one in her arms… she gave all that up.

As the taxi drove off Lily leaned back in the car laying Nina so she could sit comfortably. The two looked out the window and towards the glitzy life of the New York nightlife.

"Why didn't… you go party?" Nina leaned forward, putting her head on Lily's shoulder.

"Because you're tired. And you need to be strong tomorrow." Lily ran her fingers across Nina's smooth head of hair, and held her around her smooth naked shoulder. "Besides… when I get back home I have a little surprise for you."

Nina smiled with a drunk face. She liked… surprises.

- B – B – B –

Life was good financially for the two ballerinas, the two highest paid ballet dancers in the world sharing one place. Getting back to their posh penthouse in Trump Towers with a slide of the key, the dark room was lit up with a simple clap. Swan Lake memorabilia and images of Nina and Lily together sat across the entire living space, Lily actually dragging Nina passed a mannequin with the Black Swan outfit draped over it. This was an improvement in living spaces for sure… especially for Nina Sayers.

Sliding into their room which actually had a sliding door, Lily told her love she was going to "Put on something more comfortable.", and that made Nina's eyes light up like a child as usual.

In seconds she put Nina into the bed with her laptop on and place on that lap, Nina even drunk wanting to keep her eyes on her work. As an inebriated Nina was watching, probably not understanding anything that was going on onstage, Lily was in the bathroom, hurrying her little surprise… grooming and dressing herself as the part as the sexy Swan she was. She smacked her lips together as she glossed up that mouth nice and shiny… slowly opening the door.

"Oh Nina…" She stepped out in silk lingerie from a Victoria's secret catalogue, see through black and lace, barely covering a goddess' body. Lily was proud of her body and flaunted it accordingly, that would never change. Smokey eyes and a dark and mysterious aura, knowing that the sight of her in a sexy pair of bra and panties made Nina squeal made her quite happy. Or at least… that's what she'd usually do.

"Nina?" Lily blinked only to see her lover asleep against the headboard of the bed, laptop still on and going. Nina was out cold.

_Darn it…_

She sighed to herself as she walked over, trying not to wake Nina up. She slides the laptop away from her lap, and gently and slowly, tucked her in. Nina mumbled a few words but didn't open her eyes being exhausted. Lily leaned over kissing her forehead, as she slowly waded passed the bed and back to the bathroom. It was apparent that she needed to change into something more comfortable… than more comfortable.

"Getting none tonight." Lily said with a blank voice, taking off her sexy wear to get into a big shirt and shorts. Before she would though she began talking to herself with hand puppets, doing a little show in the mirror for her own amusement.

"Oh Lily you look so sexy." Lily mimicked Nina's softer voice pretty well.

"Why thank you… Nina… only for you…"

"Aw… I love you Lily… please… you're the best sex I ever had. Come take me!" She said it like a damsel in distress.

"But of course… mmm mm m." She made her own hands make out, blinking at her silliness as she stared into the mirror. "… And cue the hot sex…" Lily finished to herself.

After some more maintained she walked out of the bathroom all ready for bed, sliding the thick blanket open and taking a seat on the soft cushion. She grabbed Nina's laptop for a quick shut down but noticed that she wasn't watching any Swan Lake performances or doing any work. She was on a dictionary… Urban dictionary website.

_Meshuggah – crazy… insane._

Lily blinked a few times knowing only one person who'd ever use that word. It was tattooed across her lower back and proudly so. Lily shot Nina a soft glance, wondering to herself. She closed the laptop, sliding into bed, and holding onto Nina as she tried to sleep… images of her past kept slowly creeping back though.

_So you did talk to Jade… or at least… you're looking at her._

_Huh, I don't know which one's worse._


	4. Chapter Three: A Place For My Head

**Chapter Three: A Place For My Head**

_[ San Francisco, CA | May 20__th__, 2002 ]_

The automatic entry to a local 7-11 shoots open with a smooth slide, sensing a young girl that naturally demanded attention among the more organic sensors of this world. Human eyes make a beeline to beauty of course. The young male cashier was just another victim, having that staring admiration, watching five foot of sexy girl strut out freely. A tight Metallica _Kill Em All _t-shirt, a generously short jean skirt, and a pair of black heels made Lily a little combo of edge and pretty. Little Lily was a fox. Little Lilly was a doll. Little Lily was one of the girls everyone wanted to talk to at school.

Little Lily was clearly… hungry.

"Lily!" Another school girl yells from a convertible, driving by slowly across the parking lot, Lily recognizing it to be her old friend Faith. "Need a ride to the bonfire?"

"Nope, meeting up with Jade and we're heading out." Lily took a big gulp straw to her lip, drinking away at her blue Slurpee as she leaned against the glass entrance.

"Always gotta be near the trouble Lily… that's you blazing ballerinas." Her other old friend Mik shook her head at the thought while in the arms of an extremely friendly male, both cozy in a truck behind. The trinity of _Beckman High School _was always so devious. Being so popular would make these exchanges so the norm.

"God, you're so damn fine! Get your ass in the car right now Lily!" A high school boy heckled with no shame from the backseat of the truck. Lily didn't pay too much attention to it, smirking as she just sipped at her sugary drink, sexily as only she knew how. Dealing with constant pickup lines, that one wasn't worth the trouble.

"Shut up Tom. Get your stuff back in your pants…" Faith scolded the loudmouth, waving at Lily as she turned. "Well, see you there then with Jade! We need drinks… now!"

"Don't get too far into the keg without me." Lily reminded them seriously. "I swear if you guys do…"

"Then just tell Jade to hurry her ass up!" Mik yelped as she began making out unexpectedly.

_That thing is going to be bone dry by the time I get there. _Lily suspiciously waved at the rolling fleet of cars filled with mischievous teenagers, her presence always seeming to be pulling her towards any hot spot for fun and trouble just like them. She was a bit indifferent now at the moment though, just wanting to enjoy her afterschool snacks of liquid sugar, skittles, and a hot dog. As exotic as she looked… she was so simple. She was a kid at heart still.

_California  
Knows how to party!  
CALIFORNIA!  
KNOWS HOW TO PARTY!_

Lily had a mouthful of hot dog as she peaked over towards her right, seeing a silver corolla pull up fast with a breaking squeak. Pedestrians could only stare and cover their ears as the car's speakers were cranked to the maximum decibels, shaking the area from pure bass. A black haired beauty like Lily peaks out of the door, waving her hands in the air rhythmically.

"In the ci~ty… city of Frisco… we keep it ro~ckin'. We keep it ro~ckin'." That party girl atmosphere was only complied with the newest arrival. Lily was bobbing her head quite happily to the beat and to the sight. She always loved seeing Jade being herself.

"Well hun you look satisfied." Jade turned off her car with a twist of her keys, getting out with a brush of her long flowing hair. She was dressed similarly to Lily of course, tight red SEXY t-shirt with tight black jeans. These two just looked like a similar crowd. They were the resident trouble makers everyone wanted to party with. "Happy to see me?"

"I look satisfied because I'm starving…" Lily took another bite of her hot dog quite contently. "And I got food."

"Well we both know you do eat a wiener well." Jade winked as she took a peak around her surroundings.

"Hah-hah." Lily took an even bigger bite just to spite her dirty joke.

"I know you never fail, but I'm going to have to ask you if you got _it._"

Lily didn't say a word with that full mouth and reached into her pocket. She pulled out a plastic bag, rolling it out in a slow crumple so Jade's eyes could light up. "… You never have to ask." She chewed.

"Oh you dependable hottie!" Jade grabbed the bag too anxiously, opening it and took a whiff. There was nothing like west coast weed. Purple Kush was a state delicacy as far as Lily and Jade were concerned. "We're smoking all of this now…"

"You're not getting a disagreement from me." Lily finished her dog with a toss of her wrap in a trash bin, wiping her mouth properly with a napkin. Lily was making way towards their usual blazing spot in a calm strut but stopped as her partner in crime did so suddenly.

Jade _was_ about to take off even more anxiously than Lily but she had paused dead in her tracks at another sight. It was the sight of another young girl walking by the two, a familiar one with all the dressings of a popular girl including those overly expensive designer sunglasses. Lily could only ogle and wonder strangely as Jade and a blonde bombshell shared an awkward stare. Jade wink at the pretty blonde, suddenly making the girl hurriedly step into the 7-11 like she saw a ghost. Those cheeks were flushed red.

"Uh what was up with that?" Lily took her bag of skittles while she asked, opening it. "Something go down between you and cheerleader girl there?"

"Heh, Ashley Leone." Jade laughed to herself as she just went back to the bag of weed. "Yeah, something went _down_. I went down on her."

"Is that some sort of pun?" Lily found her favorite colors in the bag, taking a few to her mouth.

"No. I really went down on her at school today."

"Huh?" Lily almost choked on the skittles in her mouth, those already big eyes bulging out even more so. "W-wha… what?"

"Shhh, relax." Jade grabbed her hand. "Let's get this weed out and hit that bonfire."

"B-but I didn't even know you were lez… or bi." Lily was being dragged while still trying to compute.

"I don't like lame fucking labels anyway so that's good." Jade pulled her to the alleyway behind a few stocking boxes, unsheathing her Chinese handmade pipe from her dark purse. Lily was still clearly behind in the conversation.

"Wait a sec, let's just uh, rewind here." Lily spun her fingers like a tape as they stopped. "You ate her-"

"Pussy… yes…" Jade blew into her weed pipe, smiling at confirmation. "Don't even ask if I like the girl, because you know those fucking beat bopping girls annoy the fuck out of me."

"Then why did you even do that? Where did you do it? How?"

"What the hell is this? Twenty questions?" Jade rolled her eyes. "Look, I got into an argument with her in the girl's locker room after gym class. We were the only ones there and it got a little heated. She said some shit about ballerina girls being geeks and I'm a freak." She put some of the weed in the pipe opening, patting it down. "Well I told her that she's just a stupid bimbo and that she just wants me..."

"So you ate her out over an argument?" Lily couldn't grasp the logic.

"Two birds with one stone…" Jade shrugged as if it was business as usual, lighting it up and taking a hit, blowing out the smoke towards Lily. "I showed her A, that we ballerinas are way less repressed than those cheerleader modern dance bitches. And B, that she's just a closet lesbo that wants me. That's why she always picks a fight with me."

"… You oral sexed her into your point. A little extreme…"

"Ugh, I just hate those girls. Just a bunch of no talent posers. Throw some pointed ballet shoes on them and they wouldn't last ten minutes. Any stupid bitch can wear skimpy clothes and shake their asses. Me and you do that every morning! That's not… professional dancing. They need to know their place… the bottom rung."

"Agreed but um, back to the eating out part please?"

"Jeez, you're so one track minded today Lily. I wonder why." Jade giggled patting her friend's soft hair, only to lean back. "Okay, so yeah, I pinned her to the locker and made out with her… and uh… things went south after that." The storyteller laughed amused as she took another hit quite expertly. Lily didn't even care to take a hit right now. She was already high… on surprise. Jade… was crazy.

"Wow…" Lily shook her head, holding it gingerly. "H-have you even done this before?"

"No, first time." Jade admitted freely. "All those talks with big sis and the internet really helped though. I got that little bitch crying out in like a few seconds." She extended the pipe out to Lily, the contemplating beauty taking it slowly. Lily stared at Jade still in awe as she took her lighter, creating the smoke out of second nature, sucking in the marijuana fumes.

"Guess… I'm a natural huh?"

"… Well this is surprising." Lily's voice was muted as she inhaled smoke again. "If not weird…" She blew it out in o's.

"Why's it weird? I think every girl has to have a lezzie moment in their life." Jade shrugged.

"Yeah, the lez thing is fine but with… you know… someone you like right? Heck, someone you _know_ at least?"

"Huh… you seem kind of angry." Jade accused quite cutely. "Aw, did Lily want me to eat her out? Are you interested dear?"

"W-what? N-no… I… don't think so…" Lily denied. "I enjoy cock, thank you very much."

"So then why are those cute eyes looking so angry at me?"

"I'm not angry… I'm just kind of blown away. You didn't even like this girl, and you rewarded her by giving her oral. That's pleasure last time I checked."

"Look, I wouldn't want to just eat a friend like you out." Jade shivered. "What if I sucked or like we fell in love? It'd be like awkward as hell right? I don't even know if I'm into chicks…" She smirked. "Although eating pussy is a fun pastime. I'm doing it more often for sure…"

"... Just need to find more chicks that piss you off I guess." Lily just handed back the pipe with a sigh, leaning her head back as she grabbed her skittles, feeling almost childlike eating them after this conversation. Jade just looked at her in the most amused and caring way. There was a silent period with Lily doing all the thinking. Only one of them was willing to move on from the subject.

"I still don't get it…" Lily let out a breath as she chewed on the sugary treats.

"Jeez Lily there's nothing to get. Don't try and get me, it's just an unending headache. Just drop it." Jade was finishing off the pipe like an expert stoner, Lily watching her as they had another moment of silence. Lily wanted to ask something else but really didn't know how else to ask. She wanted to be graceful in her words like the young ballerina she was but this was impossible.

"So what does it taste like…?"

"… What? ... Pussy?"

"No… Gatorade."

Jade turned to her, smirking quite big, a naughty smile spreading on pouty lips. "Heh, why do you want to know? If I tell you it tastes like Skittles will you go down on me right now?"

"I always thought it would taste like a rainbow…" Lily crossed her arms. "Come on Jade, I'm being serious here."

"Oh serious huh?" Jade put away her pipe as she grinned at her recent memories. "I don't know. Um, haven't you ever… you know… tasted yourself after like a… session?"

"Uh, no… I always thought that was kind of gross…"

"Lily, you are a sex fiend and you're telling me that's gross?"

"I guess I just never really wanted to taste myself… I don't want to know _that _bad." Lily shrugged. "Going down on guys is different… I guess."

"Heh, fair enough…" Jade put a finger to her chin. "Well I wouldn't call myself a cunnilingus connoisseur. I'd say uh, that everyone has their own kind of taste?" She thought harder, licking her lips. "It's a little salty at first… but it definitely gets better as you keep going with that tongue." She winks with a lash of her wet muscle. "I really… like the taste. It gets kind of… sweet."

Lily just shook her head in amazement at her best friend. "You're such a lesbo Jade… just deal with it."

"Like I told you sweetie, don't label me." Jade smiled devilishly, looking at her almost like a little toy. "Huh, speaking of which… I always did wonder what you'd taste like."

Lily twitched at the surprising words. "Huh?"

"Come on! It'll be fun! Let's see what you taste like." Jade pushed towards her slowly like a predator. "I'm thinking you'd taste… really good."

"W-whoa wait a minute." Lily shook her hand only to be grabbed by Jade. "H-hey… right here? Right now? You said that things might get weird between us."

"Quiet, let me do this… really fast before I second guess myself." Jade didn't even give her time to react as she slid under Lily's skirt, already fiddling around. "You'll make me feel good… I'll make you feel great."

Lily was backed up against the wall now, dropping her candy to the floor as she felt fingers stroke her underneath her skirt. She closed her eyes tightly at first touch, not helping but to feel the wonderous sensations Jade was giving her with a few fingers. Lily feels a warm breath near her ear, Jade's sweet scent making her breath deep.

"I make you wet even before touching… I knew it." Jade whispered as she pushed Lily's panties to the side. The shorter of the two was beginning to pant, slowly opening her eyes to see Jade right up on her, mouth apart and moaning.

"I can't… believe you're doing this…" Lily tried to fight moans as she felt a finger press into her… her body naturally tightening around it. She was being… touched by a girl for the first time.

"I can't believe you're enjoying it this much… the body doesn't lie does it?" Jade smiled fiendishly as she slowly pushed in and out a few times, making Lily groan lightly. Making her friend excited was making her… even more excited.

"Ungh… w-what?" To Lily's disappointment she felt the fingers leave abruptly, her body having a slight spasm from the need for the pleasure to continue. Jade was just smirking at her work, getting her friend all worked up… she was on a pleasure giving roll.

"How was that?"

"I don't know if I'm lesbian or not… but that… felt so good…" Lily whispered as she breathed, glaring with glistening eyes. Time was lost for a second.

Jade didn't even say a word, taking her own glistening fingers to her mouth and tasting her friend for the first time. Her tongue wrapped around the tips to the knuckle, her mouth taking it in a succulent suck. Lily only watched on in a combination of lust and disbelief, her devilish friend sucking the juices from her own sex. It was strange… it was… amazingly turning her on.

"Hmm…" Jade looked at her with a tilted head. Lily only blinked a few times.

"W-what? Something wrong?"

"No … you taste so… fucking amazing…" Jade's eyes seemed to look so much deeper now; at least that was what Lily felt. The smaller of the two could only whittle at slight nervousness, staring at her. "Lily… would you lez out for me?"

"… I… think you already want me to. Besides… what about labels?"

"Just answer my question…" Jade looked serious. Too serious. "Would you go lesbian for me…?"

_**Lily stared in the mirror, looking with her back turned to it, touching her ginger shoulders. Those black bird wings were fresh tattoos, her skin still burning from the painstaking needlework done. A sultry Jade slides behind her, stroking those shoulder blades lightly, her fingers outlining the wings, making Lily wince.**_

_**"Would you walk in hell with me?" Jade asked as she told Lily to get a matching set of fallen angel wings on their backs to symbolize their love. Their relationship that would never break.**_

_**"I'd walk anywhere with you…" Lily whispers in reply as she and Jade smiled at the black art that dominated her back. A gentle kiss to her cheek was her only reply.**_

_Maybe someday I'll be just like you, and _  
_Step on people like you do and _  
_Run away the people I thought I knew  
__I remember back then who you were_

_You used to be calm, used to be strong _  
_Used to be generous, but you should've known _  
_That you'd wear out your welcome _  
_Now you see how quiet it is, all alone. _

- B – B – B –

_[ New York City, NY | Current Day ]_

The ballet barre is extremely simple in its design but just as varied in its uses. Being a long rod stretched across the floor, suspended and anchored by support beams that grounded it made it not much to look at but it was integral for the ballet world. A ballerina's barre always starts the process for any dancer. This is where flexibility was gained for starters. This is where balance is learned when improving. This is where the body can warm up in preparation for a vigorous performance for professionals.

For a fast paced natural like Lily though? She honestly hated the damn thing.

"Oh that was so fun yesterday… oh my God I never thought I'd get on a stripping pole and dance." Gailana was stretching from a few bars to the right. That bar sticking up vertically on the other hand… Lily had some fun experiences on.

"I hope your parents felt the same way…" Madeline laughed as she got into posture, doing a few mock plies. "Jade is a crazy chick."

"When she did that pole tease to that Rebecca Black song?" Gailana giggled, slapping her sides. "It's Fri~day… Fri~day… gettin' down on Fri~day!"

"She made the song bearable for a few minutes… that takes talent for sure." Madeline agreed.

Lily heard the conversation and had her hands to her sides, not using the bar at all now. Hearing about the girl she left behind so long ago being mostly the same after all this time was disappointing as it was bothersome. Jade was a threat now regardless. This wasn't years ago where she actually cared. Lily wasn't going to let her screw this up for her or Nina.

Speaking of the devil…

"Hello my new party gals!" Jade came up from behind with black and red adorned, patting Gailana on her back. "Look, its Rumps' newest and hottest dancer everyone."

"Jade, that was so freaking fun yesterday." The peppy ballerina spun like a top. "I haven't had that much fun at a strip club in so long."

"You get hands on and it always gets more fun." Jade said with a perky breath, putting her foot on the barre with ease, and stretching those lean ballerina muscles. The girls apparently had an awesome time out last night and Jade was already one of the gals. Lily had the same effect she recalled when she first came. Now… she was a homebody… although with the hottest and most powerful girl in the ensemble.

Outwardly Lily didn't even turn as she now was reluctantly doing her stretches, knowing where Jade's eyes were wandering to. These two were forever marked as two that were once one. Jade loved to eye the marked wings on her back. A peak towards a mirror confirmed it.

"Hey Lily, why don't you come out with us next time?" Jade broke the ice quite loudly, putting her on the spot. "Bring Nina with you. We'll have a blast."

Madeline and Gailana stopped their stretching in worried fashion, eyes rolling back and forth between Lily and Jade as a cloud of tension and anxiety came down. The current Swan Queen chuckled to herself at the awkward invitation, switching legs as she turned around, pulling that split as far as she could. Lily was smooth… and Jade was impressed.

"… I'll run it by Nina and ask what she thinks." Lily answered calmly. "You guys seemed to be having enough fun with our madness anyway."

"Aw, but you'd make it so much more fun." Jade sighed. "It'll be just like old times. Heck, even if Nina says no, domesticated Lily can take a break from relationshipville for a second right?"

"… Domesticated?"

"Oh sorry… bad choice of word…" Jade waved her hands. "How about well behaved?"

Snarky insults. Lily wanted to do nothing more than to walk over and let Jade's face get more up close and personal with the barre. Thankfully a loud squeak of a doorway caused all ballerinas to shift their attentions to the upper level. A stalking Thomas Leroy was walking down with a strong step on each rung. Even though the master choreographer had shared the reigns with Nina he commanded all the respect in the world. He gave this production credibility in the ballet world where Nina wouldn't just yet.

"Welcome to day two everyone of this Swan Lake production." Thomas had papers with him as he walked by. "Things are going to get a little more difficult now and I am not going to pull any punches. Today we are eliminating a good amount of you whose dream is to step into the shoes of the Swan Queen. Today some dreams will sadly end."

Lily and Jade shared a stare down for only a second before the spun into position, going through the practice routine on the barre as Thomas began to walk back and forth, analyzing each girl. His voice rang through the practice studio.

"The second act where the Black Swan arrives is integral to this version of Swan Lake. This is what separates this production versus any other interpretation of Swan Lake before it." Thomas looks at a working Lily as he passes her, staring at the natural Black Swan of his and Nina's production. "The Black Swan here is a mirror image. The Black Swan here is as much as a symbol as much as she is a villain. She's sent here by the evil sorcerer to not only trick the prince… but her sister herself."

_Same ole story… Leroy._

From behind every one hears a giggle ring out, all the ballerinas turning to see Jade with her hand on her mouth in shame. Thomas didn't look too amused like everyone else as he stalked on over to Jade, watching a woman who didn't seem to share the same respect as the others. Lily turned back, shaking her head, wondering what her past love was thinking. She was kind of happy… she was hoping for a scornful yelling.

"Is something funny Jade?"

"… Oh… sorry… Monsieur Thomas…" Jade bowed, covering her mouth with two hands now. "I couldn't help it. Please don't mind me."

"No please, share with the room what was so funny that you had to interrupt me." Thomas was as cold as the metal frames of the complex itself, Jade looking around like a mischievous little girl.

"W-well… if you're going to twist my arm…" Jade sighed as she looked at him. "I'm just a little disappointed in the story that's all."

"The Swan Lake story?"

"Y-yeah… that story." Jade looked around the room again, this time more playfully at the other girls. "The Black Swan is supposed to be a free spirit. It's supposed to represent the darkest of the dark. It's supposed to be an uncontrollable fury and passion that's inside a person. At least that's what I see when I watch Nina and Lily dance the part."

"Huh, go… on."

"I totally dig that and you totally have me riveted at first dance move." Jade said. "But then learning that the Black Swan works for some big bird sorcerer? Basically being his slave?" She pleaded her case with a little animated waving. "I'm sorry but that just doesn't work for me. All her seducing and all her evilness isn't even from her own desires. The big bad Black Swan… is just another tool for a man. A slave to someone else's desires. Color me white and color me disappointed... monsieur."

"So you suggest we eliminate the role of the evil sorcerer then?"

"… I am not suggesting anything, I am not the leader. You and Nina are." Jade was so calm looking into Thomas intimidating stare. "I'm just telling you right now that I'm realizing that the Black Swan is nothing more than a… Bitch Swan… anyone else agree?"

The entire ensemble chuckled at the Swan Lake banter, not really seeing anyone talk to Thomas in this playful yet intriguing way. Jade swung her stare back at Lily winking, making the current Swan Queen just roll her eyes. San Francisco girls didn't exactly have the same fear of Thomas than the others.

"I'll take that into account Jade…" Thomas felt amused enough not to berate her apparently. "But if you interrupt me one more time, I will ask you to leave."

"… I apologize. It won't happen again…"

"Does anyone else find the story as amusing and wish to write a redraft?" Thomas asked the room to complete silence. He stares down a quiet Jade and walks by her. "Alright then… let's get to work."

- B - B - B-

_I'm sick of the tension, sick of the hunger _  
_Sick of you acting like I owe you this _  
_Find another place to feed your greed _  
_While I find a place to rest _

Fifteen minutes later.

"Trust is the most important part of the second act." Thomas spoke out to his dancers. "Here you must trust your partner even when blinded. You must trust that she will be in the correct position at the same time you are. This will take some time to get used to… but with repetition chemistry will come into play."

The doorway to the main office opens from the far side, everyone now watching a white clothed angel stepping down the steps. Nina Sayers in all white and in dancer gear had become an iconic image around these parts. That signature white outfit with the long sleeves to hide her scars made everyone takes notice. For Lily it brought back memories of when they first met… she looked pretty as pure white ballerina.

"I like the look… going old school?" Lily smiled as she met Nina on stage; the entire ballerina ensemble clapping for her.

"I figured I haven't worn this one in a while…" Nina remembered winning Lily's heart with this outfit. "Never a bad time to bring it back right?'

"It's your cutest look." Lily said it like the many times before. Nina smiled much happier in this outfit than she did… fighting for the role of her life. Her girlfriend always made sure of it.

"All of your dreams are close to a reality but you all need to be reminded of what exactly you are trying to accomplish here in this production." Thomas smirked as he looked at them, pulling his arms gracefully in a point towards the stage. "You're replacing Nina Sayers… the person who owned this role with her entire being."

Nina saw the look in the dancer's eyes that ranged from waning determination to flat out intimidation. Nina was a sweet girl and they all knew that. But the Nina on the dance floor? The Nina on stage? That Nina was a quiet beast. Just ask those who tried to compete with her for the Swan Queen spot. Only two didn't seem that too invested in the prospect. Jade and Veronica… were as calm as anyone.

"Nina and Lily will demonstrate the first arrival of the Black Swan in the second act, we dub this section… Opposites attract." Thomas pointed towards the piano player, and then at Nina and Lily. "Are you two ready?"

"Yes Thomas." Nina walked over to the far side of the stage, lifting her ankle up, posturing.

"Always ready." Lily bowed her head slightly, getting into the same position.

As the piano player began playing the staccato type keys, the music made their bodies move instantly. Nina and Lily had done this dance so many times before and knew each other so well… this was beyond second nature. The entire ensemble watched on in silence as they were seeing exactly what was expected of them. Not only did they have to match Nina's unrivaled technicality… they had to mirror an intense Lily.

A dream is so nice… until you stare the challenge to get there right in front of your face.

For Nina and Lily… it was too easy. They even had time for a conversation.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep last night…" Nina spun into her tip toe progression.

"It's alright… I was just going to give you the best sex you ever had is all." Lily smirked as she followed Nina.

"… How dare you tease me." Nina spun, each step pressing her toe to the floor first as Lily was following her side by side.

"I bought a lingerie outfit just for you." Lily egged the guilt on with a smirk. "I should be the one saying how dare you."

"Tonight… please… can we do it tonight?" Nina was begging, and that made Lily ticklish inside. Her lover only nodded in reply as the piano was rushing towards the finish of the section, both Swans black and white stopping in winged pose.

"Woo!" Madeline clapped loudly. "Too good gals like always!"

The ballerinas gave them props. This was the performance and type of dance that catapulted the Swans show to where it was. Matching Nina was going to be the nightmare before the dream. Nina and Lily saw the mood in the room shift to an antsy tone, exactly what Thomas Leroy wanted. Tension breeds… excellence.

"You've gotten really good Lily." The two girls heard Jade from below. "Pretty awesome. I'm impressed." She bowed her head respectfully at the two.

Lily's glare only lasted for a few seconds, not taking any compliment from her past as she just walked over to Nina, squeezing her hand. "You sure you want to stop dancing for a while? You're so good…"

"I think so." Nina nodded at Lily somberly, deep inside knowing that she needed a break from the Swan Queen role either way.

"Alright, before anyone leaves today. Swan Queen Hopefuls will have to perform that section until I deem it fit for a performance. You either leave here not completing the section, or we will ask you to leave ourselves. You have thirty minutes to go over the choreography I-"

"So if we nail the performance now do we get to leave early?"

Thomas heard that sultry voice again, Lily and Nina turning back towards Jade who seemed quite serious.

"Sure thing, if any of you manage to satisfy Nina and I with a performance right now, you may leave." Thomas pointed at her. "But if you're wasting our time with a weak effort… you are getting on my bad side."

"Alright," Jade took her walks towards the stage and stretched. "Let's do this right now… maybe I can get home and catch a few z's…"

Nina blinked as she looked towards Thomas who shrugged at her. Nina was willing to play along with this firecracker. "Okay… uh… get into position then Jade. Lily… do you need a break-"

"No…" Lily showed no weakness, taking her stance again. "I'm good."

Jade and Lily only stood strong. Nina felt like there needed to be a wedge of epic proportions for the negative vibes from the two San Franciscans, she worryingly nodding at Lily. "Okay… let's just try and have a smooth run. Good luck Jade." She walked off the stage, seeing two dancers stare off like statues in mirrors.

"So just like before…" Jade nodded. "You make me look good… I make you look great?"

"I hope you trip." Lily whispered with gritted teeth. "And I mean that in the nicest way possible."

"Well I think it's time I just end this competition now." Jade glanced up and down Lily's lean body quite suggestively. "You know how we used to do it in San Fran right? … Just kill their hopes as fast and humane as you can."

"You're delusional." Lily smiled. "I'm not the same dancer I was back in the day. You can't keep up. I'll make you look bad."

"Oh, because you _care_ now right?" Jade lifted her ankle up like Nina did before. "Well you're going to be pleasantly surprised Lily… I may not be a Black Swan yet but for now? You can call me a Black Widow… a Black Mamba… a Black Scorpion…" She smirks. "Let's inject a little poison into everyone's hopes shall we?"

Lily couldn't reply as the piano took off, and now it was a dance of another kind. Thomas Leroy watched closely and Nina Sayers did so even more attentively. Nina couldn't believe her eyes as the intensity and pace of the dance seemed to pick up between these two. Friction… fueled the dance, just like the _imagined _friction between Lily and Nina did that year ago. Nina and everyone else in the room knew it… this tension was as real as it got.

With every perfect step Lily did, Jade did it the same way.

"You are an awesome ballet dancer now… way better than before." Jade smirked as she mirrored Lily without looking… just like Nina. "But I've studied you and Nina non-stop… I take this very seriously now."

"… I'm glad you take something seriously." Lily insulted as her spins were more coiling and tight as if it was show time.

"I know your body like Nina knows it." Jade winked as they met glares in mid-spin, twirling towards the far stage. "You and I were meant to dance this together…"

"You and I are meant for nothing anymore." Lily kept pushing to the finish, not really believing Jade was keeping up. Only Nina… could do this… She had to put it out of Jade's reach.

"I can be your biggest help, or your poison Lily." Jade's pirouettes kept her like a fizzling top, not going anywhere. "I'm here to stay and you're going to have to deal with it."

Nina kept looking straight away with so many things on her head, not being able to isolate any dancer. That was the point of the performance and her concept. To get lost in who was the reflection and who was real. Both of them were dark. Both of them… were sexual. Both of them… had matching dark wings… she couldn't tell who was Jade and Lily sometimes. There was no makeup… this was raw.

The perfect sisters to play the Black and White Swans.

Nina was afraid of her mind but almost knew what her mind was capable of doing. She already knew inside that the darkness within had already made its choice. Jade kept mutating in her head like a creature… slowly the black swan make up pressing on those eyes. Her leotard becoming that brilliant costume of dark feathers, Jade's already pale white skin looking the part.

_**"Let me dance the Black Swan for you." Her reflection whispers.**_

Feathers wanted to grow on Jade's hands she felt. Nina remembers the darkness in her too well. As she stared at the Jade… no… the Black Swan… saying the same thing with this dance with her lover. She couldn't help but agree. This time she didn't want the role. She wanted… no… needed someone to take this burden away from her. Playing the Swan queen took so much out of her…

And as she saw the Black Swan take shape inside Jade… she knew the darkness had already made its choice.

What of the pure Nina herself?

_They still have… chemistry._

Before Lily knew it she was staring at Jade, everyone in the vicinity clapping as they were as surprised as she was in a furious finish. Jade took the applause with a grain of salt, shrugging. "Well looks like I get to leave early…"

Lily could only grumble beneath her breath annoyed.

"How was that Monsieur Thomas?" Jade walked over passed a scorn lover, kneeling at the stage.

"Uh… see you tomorrow it seems. You're done for today." Thomas answered simply looking over to Nina with the same impressed look. Both of them knew they had something… with this dancer. For Nina it was a double edged sword. This girl was such a pain to Lily… but the performer inside Nina knew this girl was the one right now. The person that can take away this stardom… and the burden of the Black Swan… so Nina could work on herself and her dream.

For Lily it was plainly her worst nightmare.

"Sweet, good luck everyone…" Jade's last words felt so hollow as she waved. She passed Thomas with a bite of her lip, almost thanking him with a suggestive look.

Lily looked over to Veronica suddenly grabbing her arm as Jade left, knowing she was next. "I need you to kickass alright? Dance like you've never danced before. I mean it."

"Uh, I get what you're doing Lily… but really you're just weirding me out." Veronica blinked in confusion… Lily was cheering for her?

How desperate was she?

"Is everything okay?" Nina walked over to Lily, stroking her lower back.

"… You're going to choose her aren't you?" Lily whispered back without looking.

Nina had nothing… really to say. Lily felt bad. Nina felt... worse.

_I want to be in another place _  
_I hate when you say you don't understand! _  
_(You'll see it's not meant to be) _  
_I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy_  
_A place for my head!_

_You tried to take the best of me...  
__Go away!  
You will never get the best of me...  
GO AWAY! _

_

* * *

_

**A/N: **Flashback scene... totally inspired by the Mila Kunis movie _After Sex... _I try to update as fast as possible. :)


	5. Chapter Four: With You

**Chapter Four: With You**

_I'm never without you.  
I'll always be with you.  
You'll never forget me.  
I'm keeping you with me._

_I won't let you take me to the end of my row.  
Or keep burning and torching my soul…  
And no I'm not your puppet…  
And no… no… no… _

_I won't let you go…_

[Six Years Ago... ]

The way she smiled it made it so obvious. Lily knew it better than anyone in this entire bar. The way she moves made it hard for anyone to resist, and she played the hottie card like a pro. Boys and quite a few girls alike had curious eyes on her like sensual predators, ready to pounce and get any piece of her if they could.

She had the lounge up and roaring as she stood tall on the bar top, beginning to groove with no shame, shaking it like a "salt shaker" as the loud music told her to. The college life in San Fran was tailored to a girl like her… just like the tutus she wore on stage.

"Hey-o!"

Lily leapt down at the sight of a few friends, landing in a drunken sway, only the arms of her home girls saving her from a face plant. All the boys turned their attention to the sassy trio against the heart of the bar. They owned this place. They owned everyone's desires. They were… the party.

"Crazy Lily is in the hiz house!" Mikaela hugged onto her friend tightly around her waist as Faith was giving her gentle pats on the head. "How much have you drank?" They seemed to be glorifying the inebriation.

"Hmmm… is it possible to just bleed petrone?" Lily asked cutely as she nuzzled her two friends quite sensually, teasing a public make out session of a three way nature… only to take away the tease with mutual funny faces. Disappointed bystanders aside, their giggling and typical drunk party girl state wasn't going to last long either way. At least… for one of them.

"Oh shit… trouble alert Lily." Faith grumbled as she saw something indeed… troubling.

Drunken Lily turned with a smooth follow of Faith's eyes, a beaming gaze seeing… her. Of course it had to be… her. The her Lily wanted to ignore. The her Lily wanted to forget about. Sadly for the ballerina, those deep black eyes against a crowd of people couldn't be ignored even when completely plastered.

"Oh boy…" Mikaela grabbed Faith by the arm and gently wrapped her grip. "Uh… grab us when you're done babe!" Lily's duo of best friends with that, split off like a bad habit, leaving her there to handle an issue they knew only she could… alone.

_I'd rather be alone than with you._

"Um, I'm going to pretend I didn't see you now. And when I turn around… poof! You're going to vanish like magic alright?"

"Lily… let's go talk outside a little bit." Jade walked up to her not so amused, attired in a similar all black dress. They looked like twins… really beautiful dark twins. "Why didn't you answer my phone calls?"

"It's called the deny button… duh…" Lily's face looked so snug in her answer, people turning away from the awkwardness.

"Stop it. We _need_ to talk _now_."

"Hmm, how about I don't? And we just say we did." Lily leered tauntingly and turned her back on Jade, heading towards the bar. With that statement she went for another drink, only to be held by her wrist and spun back to meet a furious girlfriend. Lily took the whole thing and stride and twirled like it was a pirouette.

"I'm being serious!" Jade's dark glare pierced through Lily's drunk stare.

With another gentle pull away? Lily clearly wasn't…

"Oh no baby… no more talk. You've done enough talking you little motor mouth." Lily laughed as was poking Jade on her lips repeatedly. "I'm having fun like everyone else here is. If you want to be boring and serious? Go to a café or a Starbucks."

"Lily I made a mistake alright?" Jade shook her desperately. "She didn't mean anything to me!"

"Aw, did you get that line from a movie?" Lily pouted mockingly as she just began dancing to the beat again. "Buzz off… we're done. Excuse me while I go have my fun. And then after that I'm gonna go spank someone's bun! Give me some space… is that okay with you hun?"

"Fucking hell…" Jade groaned in frustration at Lily's drunken carelessness.

"Lookie here Jadey, to make it so we have no hard feelings?" The shorter ballerina grabbed a shot glass that probably wasn't even hers, and pulled it towards Jade's face. "I got you a shot! Drown your seriousness away… Bye bye."

Jade didn't pay the gesture any attention, not letting her shadowy eyes peel off of Lily as she stayed put. She wasn't going to drop this and her object of desire just shrugged without a care in the world. At least that's what it 'looked' like. Lily was a master of façade as she was fun.

"Okay since you're not answering I guess you don't want it. I tried to be nice… oh well." In a second the drink was downed into Lily's system... pushing her further into a numb state.

"… I know you don't really want to break up with me. Just please… I don't want to lose you either."

"Aw, so sad." Lily made a mocking frown on her pretty face. "I don't want to be with a sappy Sue. I'm gonna get back to doing my thing now alright?" The attention was now gone, Lily seeing a guy hanging at the bar... randomly. "Hey! I remember you! You're Steve!"

"Uh… I'm John."

"Whatever…" Lily got up all in his face, body up against him, knowing exactly what she was doing. "Do you like what you see young man?"

"I… yeah… of course." The awkward moment was forgiven when you had someone like Lily rubbing against you. He didn't mind one bit.

"You think this is your lucky night?" Lily grinned like a fox.

"Apparently…"

The jealousy was ready to pour out but strangely Jade stepped in with a fiery yet womanly smile, suddenly stroking the guy's head with her own devious manner. "Oh it is baby… guess what you just hit."

Lily turned scowling at Jade as she forced herself into this. This college kid that just hit a double dark ballerina jackpot? He was speechless. He was also… clueless.

"Or maybe… I should say… guess what just hit you…"

"AGH!" The kid yelled out in pain as soon as the words were said, Jade's elbow crushing his cheek bone, sending him sprawling against the bar with a vicious cut. A skinny ballerina's elbow was as sharp as a bone could be apparently. Lily grabbed Jade by her shoulders and stared at her in disbelief, shaking her angrily.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Trying to make me fucking jealous? Bringing that jerkoff into our conversation?"

"Our conversation was over!" Lily berated. "Get out of my life!"

Jade was about to reply snarky when two men grabbed her by her arms, roughly pushing her against the bar with no averseness. Jade grimaced as her small frame was being pancaked… crushed. It wasn't fair.

"Bitch! What is your problem!" One of them bellowed.

"… Heh, what tough guy?" Jade laughed at the pain… at the rough treatment now. "Heh, your boy can't take a hit from a scrawny little girl?"

"Fuck you! You need someone to shut your damn mouth."

"H-hey!" Lily pulled at the large men's arms, only to be pushed to the side easily. "You bastards! Leave her alone! She'll take off!"

"She needs a damn lesson in manners!" The bigger of the angry duo was apparently a friend of the victim of sorts, ignoring Lily and raising his hand like he was going to hit Jade.

"I said leave her alone!"

The man suddenly grimaced as his arm was cranked and twisted surprisingly with some strength, a knee into his face the finish as he was pulled down, shattering his nose. Lily watched the attacker slump on the floor completely knocked out. The other was in such surprise that Jade caught him with a high heel kick in a place where… men couldn't even have nightmares about.

"Come on Lily! Let's go!"

Lily was still in shock at what they just did, seeing a college commotion circle around them, watching as the three boys were slowly getting up. Security was closing in on the sides and she was frozen like a deer in headlights. Before Lily could even think of what to do, Jade had her by the wrist, running them out of the bar.

_We're always running away from the world…_

They busted out the door after plowing through the young crowd, Jade dragging Lily quickly towards an alleyway across the street. Their burning lungs later and Lily was still a drunken fury.

_I hit you and you hit me back  
and we fall to the floor  
The rest of the day stands still  
Fine line between this and that  
But when things go wrong?  
I pretend the past isn't real_

"What were you freaking thinking back there?"

Jade didn't even say a word, giggling under her breath as she glanced towards Lily. "That was an awesome knee to the face."

"Stop. I told you… we're done." Lily stood strong, even though she risked herself to help out this crazy girl. Lily was a sweetheart inside… for Jade it wasn't so simple.

"… And I told you we're not done. I think we have a little predicament here."

"You're crazy!" Lily tried to make sure no one from the bar was looking for them.

"Yeah maybe I am," Jade pulled Lily's face to her with a stern grip, getting very close. She could feel Lily's booze breath on her. "But mostly about you…"

"… I don't want your words. I don't need this anymore." Lily was serious now even in her alcoholic binge. Jade smiled at the notion even though negative. At least as she was now getting through to her. For Lily it wasn't so great as in her haze she couldn't shake her off, as Jade pressed up tightly like a vice, stroking her hair against her will.

"I don't care what you do… you can't just leave me." Jade whispered.

"If you want me so much you sure have a fucking funny way to show it." Lily huffed as she looked away, not giving her the satisfaction of her time.

"Look… I'm not right. I _am_ crazy… I don't know why. I don't know a lot of things. I just know I need you… don't leave me."

"… Jade no…" Lily stood firm but she couldn't for long.

A kiss sealed Lily's fate. A kiss sealed her trap.

"You say these things but I don't believe you." Jade smiled. "If you want to get rid of me… you're going to have to try harder… way harder…"

_Harder…_

_Harder…_

- B – B – B -

_I woke up in a dream today.  
To the cold of the static  
Put my cold feet on the floor.  
Forgot all about yesterday.  
Remembering, pretending to be where I'm not anymore._

_A little taste of hypocrisy  
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake  
Slow to react  
Even though you're so close to me  
You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back_

_Don't think about it. _Harder. Just keep going harder and faster. Lily barely heard anything, being so lost inside a past she wanted to forget. Her new life was to temper all that but old habits die hard. That's was the way she lived her life for so long now, was everything just going to stop? Pushing forward without hesitation and to deal with problems by living a life that was so furious she couldn't look back even if she wanted to… now that the past was here… she had to go faster again.

Underneath her passion was someone that couldn't quite keep up.

"L-lily!"

_Nina? _Lily opened her eyes in a heavy breath, shooting down to see Nina's eyes barely opened, panting as if she had been running a marathon for days. Nina was winded. Nina was exhausted. Nina was pleasured to a near coma… and Lily was the catalyst of all of that.

Nina only wheezed as she could finally breathe even a spec of air thankfully, Lily noticing those smooth dancer legs underneath the sheets shaking gently. Lily gasped at her poor love with a caress of her forehead, knowing what went on quite clearly now. She couldn't even touch Nina below… it was so sensitive at the moment.

"Nina! I'm so sorry I kind of blanked out…" Lily caressed her cheek softly in concern. "You okay?"

"H-how can you do all that… blanked out?" Nina laid her head back against the soft pillow in post ecstasy, spread out underneath and drained. Her energy was gone yet she looked incredibly satisfied from Lily's feeling. Nina had never felt… angry sex before. In a scissoring position Lily was unknowingly giving it to her in a way she just could have never imagined. Her naked body was ringing…

"Wow… it's like Sea world down there…" Lily felt Nina's excitement between the legs, slowly pulling out and laying her girlfriend's legs down gently.

"I must have… lost it at least three times…" Nina whispered weakly, turning back to her in a dreamy glare.

"Babe I'm sorry… I don't know what got into me." Lily lied, wondering how rough she must have made love to Nina with clouded thoughts. This Jade… business had to stop.

"No… no don't be sorry… that felt… huh, I can't even explain it." Nina shook her head back and forth to clear her own mind of lust and exhaustion. Whatever was bothering Lily, Nina felt guilty to tell her that she loved… the sex. It was… extreme. It was amazing if not a bit too much…

"Heh, you're still so adorable…" Lily played with her smooth skin, rubbing the shoulder area where Nina's scars were. They were healing… if not completely healed.

"Oh, I don't think y-you ever lost it. Please let me finish for you…" Nina said it with a genuine purr, letting her inner Black Swan out for a little bit. Lily could only smile at her cuteness, but ultimately shook her head. She looked so tired... and besides…

"It's okay. I am kind of a little out of it right now." Lily denied her and smoothly lay next to her, pointing over to the bedside table. "Can you hand me the box of cigs and lighter?"

Nina was shocked and surprised at the reply. Lily was actually turning down an oral invitation? Like a reluctant child she slowly reached over and gave Lily what she asked for regardless, watching closely, and caressing her girlfriend caringly as the vixen lit her smoke. The cigarette fumes flowed out of Lily almost as much as her invisible frustration did.

"I've never seen you so bothered by anything before." Nina hugged around Lily's free arm, staying close to the warmth of her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"It looks that bad huh?" Lily pulled the cigarette out of her mouth, and handed it to Nina. "I really got to work on my Poker Face again."

The cigarette's ashes lit up amber.

"… I'm worried about you." Nina was much more a smoker now apparently, especially after these frequent bed room romps, taking in the nicotine and breathing it out slowly like her lover did. It was a far difference from that time she barely puffed the free cigarette given to her by Lily the first time. Never mind the constant sex…

"Don't need to worry Nina. Just a little hiccup. I can handle this…"

_Can't I?_

Nina wouldn't and couldn't expect any other answer.

"… Well just know that I'm here for you." Nina reassured her, handing back the cigarette to Lily. They shared a warm smile like they were sharing a relaxant.

Lily looked down now at her, stroking those soft locks of hair. There was a bit of guilt in Lily's chest and she had to let it out. "H-hey, sorry for pressuring you about Jade today. I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"What are you talking about?"

"… If you pick her that's your decision along with the brass. It's not my place to tell you what-"

"Your opinion means the world to me." Nina silenced her. "You mean the world to me. You can tell me whatever is on your mind. I don't care."

Lily's heart skipped a beat… but she stayed on course.

"I'm just saying it'll look ridiculous if you don't pick her. You tell the sponsors, Beth and Thomas that the reason is because Lily says she's a bad seed?"

"I trust you."

"But they wouldn't." Lily was no delusional girl, finishing a caring kiss to Nina's forehead. "Look, I see what you see. Honestly, when I said Jade was good at ballet… that was years ago. She was always the best in San Francisco… the hardest worker. Now? What the fuck…"

_Hardest worker? _Nina blinked.

"… I really can't believe how good she is."

Nina and Lily looked downward as the conversation was veering towards a place neither of them wanted to discuss. Lily had to stop it.

"Ugh, it's like I can't go anywhere without having this pop up! Why the hell did she have to come back here?" Lily put the cigarette in her mouth again, puffing a bit more angrily. Nina just showed her support by pecking Lily's warm cheek. The action was quite… helpful. This Lily could confide in Nina… the Lily that was alone before was a memory.

"Look, I just don't want things to go bad. I'll feel as if it's my fault." Lily looked at Nina with a friendly touch of their noses. "Can't you just stay Swan Queen? It'll make things so much easier."

Nina giggled lightly at her playfulness as she sat up a bit side by side. She got serious. "Lily I told you… I'm burnt out. I can't dance the Swan Queen or even Swan Lake anymore. It takes too much out of me."

Lily did the voluntary nod as she's heard it for a while now. Imagine reliving your darkest hour repeatedly. Imagine reliving that darkest hour while your body is pushed to the brink of its limits. Nina had to do this for almost a year, all along with the pressures of producing and creating one of the most complex ballet exhibitions ever. For everyone else? _Swans_ was merely a production. For Nina? It was herself. She put everything into this project. Her entire body and soul.

How many times could she feel that glass into her side? Her story had been told now. She helped ballet be revived to mainstream status. She helped those who needed psychological treatment by establishing the charities. She's done all she wanted with this.

"… I've done my part as Nina Sayers the girl that got famous by stabbing herself." She looked at Lily almost stoic as her girlfriend blew smoke the other direction. "I can't do this anymore, no matter how many people tell me it's supposed to be some sort of dream."

"I guess… this may be a dream… but not exactly yours."

_This isn't my fairy tale ending…_

"… Either way you've done a lot with what you got." Lily rested her _filled _head against Nina as the two Swans stared out into the incredible skyline that glowed outside their window. "… I'm really proud of you."

"Same to you." Nina took the cig now, staring at it and remembering Lily walking into her life like a mysterious ghost. "Y-you know, I wish I can sometimes just go back to our old production. Take away all that pain and just perform like I used to do it. For the love of just trying to be the best ballerina I could be."

_Back to boring Nina…_

"Nina you sound like you never wanted any of this fame or-"

"I didn't…" Nina said it like she had been open about it for months. After exhaling she said the words. "… I hate it."

"Hate it?" Lily heard those words for the first time. "You never told me that before…"

Nina apparently still needed to work on her confiding skills. "… That's because with my fame… made both our successes. I saw how much fun you were having. I saw how much you love the spotlight. Making music videos. Being almost like Hollywood stars… You seemed so at home."

"Nina, what the…" Lily turned in disbelief, taking the cigarette with an empathetic sigh. "Look if you don't want this… you should've said something. We could've stopped. I don't need this."

… _I need it. _

_To keep you interested in me. _

Nina wanted to tell her the fear inside she still had. To tell Lily that maybe all the old Nina wasn't gone. To tell her the fear of losing Lily was the worst fear she could ever have. This famous life… this incredible ballet… it was keeping Lily happy. She needed to keep Lily occupied to hide the fact that she was mostly the same... one dimensional Nina.

"No… we couldn't." Nina couldn't do so... yet. "This whole process wasn't my dream… but our business… our dancers… it reinvigorated everyone. It wasn't for me."

"Okay fair enough… but now? If you're not into this…"

"Why do you think I'm stopping and stepping behind the scenes?" Nina stroked Lily's thigh. "I want to be forgotten… I don't want to be remembered. I don't need this attention."

"Then what do you want?"

"My dream was simple." Nina remembered the time she healed, thinking hard on it. "Help people. Bring awareness back to ballet. And to simply be with you for the rest of my life… all this extra stuff… it's not me. You and the next Swan Queen can have it."

Lily thought she was the most adorable sight right now. "I had no idea you disliked it that much… thank you for being honest."

"As long as I saw you smiling? It made it okay." Nina grinned. "Which is why I have no problem continuing Swans. Letting someone else take my place and I still have you to be ballet's rising star. I think you're tailor made to be what ballet needs now."

"Oh you speak about me so highly… it makes me feel so special." Lily laughed, putting out her cigarette into the ashtray beside as she cozied up to Nina underneath the sheets. The two got warm in a loving and naked hug. "… What the hell happened to us?"

Thoughts about Swan Lake… and their meetings slowly swayed over their heads.

"I still remember seeing you for the first time. I can't believe so much has happened since then." Nina reflected as they stared into one another's eyes. _You've changed so much for me. I wanted to change so much for you. The Black Swan… didn't exactly flow into my life as I thought she would._

Lily sighed inwardly. She almost forgot how much they went through together. What Nina survived… she smiled slowly… and surely the Lily that had been stalled with a certain someone's arrival… began to move again.

"You know what? I don't know what I'm sweating about. I have to get over this." Lily stroked her cheek as Nina did the same. "I got the most beautiful girl in the world… and I'm dancing a dream. I am not going to let _anything _or _anyone_ ruin this for me and you."

"… I don't want you uncomfortable. If Jade is going to be a problem then I have to take it into account."

"It was the shock of seeing her… I think…" Lily was hesitant but kept calm.

Nina was hoping it was all true.

"… I'm starting to realize that she doesn't know how much different I am." Lily playfully rubbed Nina's flat stomach, making her girlfriend a bit giddy. "I have you. And I feel good. I don't care anymore. If she thinks she can come here to screw things up for me? She has another thing coming."

"Lily…"

"I'm not running away from her. And maybe I was just concerned for you. Jade is just too unpredictable…" Lily nodded. "Maybe I'm just a little faithless. I trust you guys will know what is best for the production."

"… With Thomas and I? I really don't think she can be too much of a concern. Honestly, her passion for this role is going to be tested. If she's faking anything… we'll know."

"I really hope so." Lily didn't believe it. "But really enough about that stuff…" The vixen was feeling more and more like a vintage Lily than ever. "You did mention that you wanted to finish me to an orgasm… right?"

Nina's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "The offer still stands…"

"Good… because I'm cashing it in… now…" Lily lifted up the blanket as Nina blushed at the sight of naked perfection, going underneath quite happily without a question. Lily felt her girlfriend's warmth between her excited loins as she got into position. The pleasure that came next made her deeply moan, coiling underneath the sheets gently as Nina went to work. No frustration was going to stop her happiness. Lily and Nina worked too hard for their happy ever after to be scared of anything.

"Oh… baby…"

For Lily, Nina would never stop working…

_No, no matter how far we've come  
I can't wait to see tomorrow  
No matter how far we've come…  
I can't wait to see tomorrow  
With you…_

- B – B – B –

Routine is a keyword for any ballerina. For Nina Sayers that part of her would never leave her conscious. At 7:00 AM on the dot she was at the studio, opening the doors and prepping for one of the last days of potential Swan Queen cuts. She swung by her office to grab her notes, in her hand having a brown bag which was her petite breakfast of egg whites, turkey, and various fruits.

Nina hurriedly walked towards the practice room, knowing she had so much to do today. This complex was much more inviting and feature packed than their old studio. On the other side, one of the key features was a cafeteria where ballerinas could snack and lounge. When she noticed the lights were on, apparently someone beat her to the punch. She expected to see Thomas or Beth. When there was a dancer in all white, prancing along the mirror she knew who it was right away regardless.

Nina had to do a double take still. Every technique was precise. Every motion had reason and power. Those combinations. That precision. How can someone like this be under the radar so long? … She danced like…

"Good morning teach." Jade said as she glanced into the mirror, the reflection looking back at Nina snugly.

"You're here… early this time." Nina looked at her so curiously yet cautiously. It was like she was dealing with a cobra. "Late and early…"

"Y-yeah… we're the only two huh?" The mysterious girl licked her lips, stretching her dancer's body. "I got so much rest yesterday I decided to have a night out in Times Square. I met… a guy… and uh… let's just say his place wasn't too far away from here."

"Heh, t-that's nice to know." Nina peaked around to avoid eye contact, really not knowing how to deal with this girl. It was uncomfortable… yet enticing.

"It means I slept with him… just in case if you're wondering." Jade cleared that up with a cute smile… a mischievous one depending on the point of view.

"I… think I understood." Nina needed to steer this back to a professional level for her own sake. She was intrigued with what she saw prior to this talk and figured that was the way to go. "… Jade I don't understand how someone as talented as you could be so hidden. I know you stopped dancing but those combinations you were putting together just now. It was… amazing."

"Heh, Lily probably told you I stopped huh?" Jade glanced down towards Nina's bag, almost as if she was now trying to change the subject. "Oh is that breakfast for you?"

Nina simply nodded.

"Awesome! H-hey! I got my breakfast too. Let's go eat together! If I'm going to be working here… I'd love to bond with my future choreographer." Jade shook herself off as she walked towards her own dancing bags. "I'm starving but I just had to get some combinations in. Last night I kept thinking of it… I couldn't sleep. I bet that happens to you a lot doesn't it? New sections you're _dying_ to try out?"

_Dying to try…_

"I… yes. Yes it does." Nina stared hard at the now white adorned Jade. This party girl was so into ballet it didn't seem right. Wasn't that something a girl like Nina was supposed to be? How could someone be so far one way… and back the other? Completely Black… and completely White?

"Heh, that look in your face." Jade motioned for Nina to follow her into the cafeteria. "I remember seeing that on you after I did my first pirouette. You thought I was just some hot shot pretty bimbo with a love for leotards didn't you?"

"N-no… not at all." Nina said it with conviction. When she saw Jade… she was more or less expecting another Lily. With the past time… and now today. She was figuring out this was something else completely.

"I know you probably thought I was like Lily when I came in." Jade almost read her mind, sitting down in one of the many tables of the cafeteria. "Some natural carefree little girl huh?"

"I can't say no to that sadly." Nina didn't want to get caught in any lie.

"It's alright…" Jade smiled as she opened her bag up. "Lily and I may have that similar look… but there's big differences between us."

"What's that?" Nina was as enticed as she was… with Lily in all honesty. Probably just as frightened at first meeting.

"I always took my professional side very seriously… I don't fuck around with my ballet. Unlike her? I wasn't a natural."

_A hard worker…_

"Lily can disconnect herself from the work… I can't." Jade pulled out a cooler that made Nina blink dumbly.

"Where did you study?"

"You mean where I went and dropped out?" Jade laughed. "Paris Opera Ballet."

Nina blinked, shaking almost. That was her dream school. "W-what? Y-you got accepted to P.O.B? T-that's like… the best. Thomas was a professor there."

"Yeah, studied in Paris for a year." Jade shrugged. "I kind of wish I went to School of American like you did. Watching you dance and perform is freakin' inspirational. I would've loved to study with you. Probably wouldn't have stopped."

_With you…_

"… You knew that about me?"

"Nina when I said I was a fan I wasn't bullshitting you to kiss your ass." Jade paused. "Unless you want me to do that and it helps me get this part."

"No… it won't." Nina smiled a little… just a little before seeing Jade get a rise out of it. She bashfully got back into teacher mode. "So you really were a serious girl… about ballet."

"Dude, I breathed ballet when I was younger. There was nothing I did that I didn't draw something from for my roles." Jade looked at Nina. "Just like you right?"

_Just like… me? _

"And… yeah, I lost my way for a little bit. I got disappointed in how unprogressive ballet snobs were. I hated the teachers I had. Such douches." Jade pulled out a small plate with a colorful mix of foods. "I quit and came back here to pursue something else to make me happy… nothing worked out."

"So when did you decide to get back into ballet?"

"Ugh, this is going to sound corny I know…" The pale skinned girl sighed. "But it was when I saw you online. Dancing… Swan Lake… for that first time."

"This sounds like… the buttering up again." Nina felt too praised.

"No really Nina. Honestly? Even I didn't say a word… I'm going to be the Swan Queen, don't you worry." Jade's confidence was about as equal to Lily for sure. "I'm not fucking around. The minute I watched you do that rendition of boring ass Swan Lake… I knew this role was for me too." She pulled out next two tinfoil wrapped… spheres.

"I'm flattered that you say such things… really."

"Studying with like the 'best', made me feel that my whole life of dancing ballet? Was fake." Jade pointed at her. "You? For that one night? You made it real. You made me get this passion back inside I lost a long time ago. I always wanted to make my performance real. People don't get girls like us… 'its just ballet' my friends would say it… they don't get the power of losing yourself in a role…"

_Lose yourself…_

"You completely _became _your role… heck it's the first time I've seen anyone do that since like Margot Fonteyn. And your performances ever since? And Swans? Forget about it! I saw Swans and it blew me away. I needed to come back."

"You're a student of ballet too…" Nina was shocked. "I love Margot… she's my favorite."

"Isn't she everyone's?" Jade grinned. "I have a bootleg copy shot in really old film of her performances if you want to borrow it."

"Really? I'd love to see it…"

"I'll bring it next time." Jade laughed to herself at a memory from childhood. "I used to force Lily to watch it when we got stoned. She'd get so pissed. She isn't exactly a ballet historian. She's so progressive huh? She'd rather watch like a Rage Against The Machine music video…"

"Y-yes it sounds like her…" Nina almost forgot those two had a history for a second there… Jade was blurring the lines quite well.

"You turned Lily into a dancing machine. Something I could never do." Jade began to snack away at some sort of vegetarian baked entre. "I can't wait to see what you can do for me. You're the teacher I need."

Nina blushed and couldn't say a word, knowing she had to be fair to all the girls and not talk about a role that hasn't been won yet. This conversation was turning her opinion on this Jade. She didn't feel like the free spirit Lily was when she came. She was… an obsessed girl. A girl as into her job… as Lily was more into the other aspects.

_I would've never guessed this. _Nina opened her own box of breakfast and noticed the sheer difference in volume. Jade had a meal… she had a mouse's snack

"Let me guess Nina…" Jade got her attention as Nina saw her put two fingers into her mouth. "Do you do this a lot?"

Nina's eyes expanded. "E-excuse me?"

"Your gag reflex probably gets a lot of work… am I right?"

"…"

"Look it's nothing to be ashamed of. I used to do that too… a lot." Jade didn't look judgmental at all. "Are you…"

Nina paused… only to give in.

"No… I… still do it from time to time… but Lily found out and is trying to stop me…" Nina was already out in the open, just like the past year. She kept pressing forward. "I used to be completely bulimic… I occasionally-"

"No you're stopping from here on out. No more vomiting." Jade was stern. "Look, I get you. You and I probably… gain weight easy right? Always trying to cut down to fit into that tutu correctly."

"... Yes."

"Check this. I'm on this vegan diet… that gives me a ton of energy and I'm never hungry. I swear to God Nina… let me get you on this thing."

"… Um…" Nina looked at Jade's lean but cut body… can't arguing the results. She just like Nina… struggled to look this way.

"Hanging out with Lily? I know things get a little ridiculous cuisine wise. The girl is just a damn natural… doesn't it piss you off sometimes what she can eat and still be so damn… thin?"

"Actually yes…" Nina giggled, crossing her arms at the thought.

"I'll get you on an all-natural energy diet… no meats… no crap, that screws up your body. I promise you, you're going to feel like Super Woman."

"… Is this how you seem to party all night… and then work so hard here?"

"It's _exactly _why." Jade pointed at her energy water. "Like honestly? Throw that away…" She began unwrapping her tinfoil sphere, revealing a nice brown… coconut. "Go natural dear. This stuff is the best for a pick me up." She suddenly pulled out a knife… and began cutting away… cutting slowly into the fruit. The image of Jade with a knife aside… Nina was looking at a complex person.

"Here ya go… one on me." Jade slid her coconut, Nina looking down at it. It wasn't exactly an ecstasy pill but the person giving it to her… was bringing back some memories. She looked at Jade as she slowly took the drink, tasting the sweetness and smiling.

"Yummy… I know… coconuts and grapefruit are my favorite together." Jade licked her lips. "So pink… so pretty…"

_So pink… so pre~tty…_

Nina kept that coconut up against her mouth, looking hard at Jade as she heard a voice she recognized from long ago. The girl she knew… the young little repressed girl she left behind. Was she…

"I bet you're stopping the dancing gig because you're drained aren't you?" Jade tilted her head. "No one can dance like that for… forever. You became the White and Black Swans…"

Was she a psychic or something?

"Y-yes… I needed to stop."

"_Nina… if you want to get rid of me… pick her…" _

The voice came back now and the darkness was felt but it wasn't random. Nina stared at the image her mind was creating… the Black Swan sitting across from her table, sitting there smiling at her like an old friend. A creepy old friend…

_She's the one…_

"Everyone makes a big deal out of the Black Swan…" Jade said the words, snapping Nina out of it, making her twitch. "I don't see the big deal."

"I think Black Swan… um…" Nina rubbed her head, coming back into conversation as smoothly as possible. "Just means freedom for a lot of people. It means strength."

"Strength? What strength?" Jade goaded the imagery. "Odile is nothing but any girl you can find at a club. She's sexual… congratulations. We're HUMAN… we're built to reproduce… being sexy is our purpose. There's nothing special about it… honestly? Guys will screw a wall with a hole in it if necessary… right?"

"Jade… we're eating."

"S-sorry but really… I have no interest in the Black Swan besides getting that part down." Jade made a face. "But the White Swan? … She's the special one."

Nina could only look and listened… she always thought the opposite for herself.

"It's easy to break the rules. It's easy to not give a shit." Jade expressed animatedly. "Being disciplined. Being loving? Being, brave even though you're doomed? That's… impressive. That's… strength. If I was the White Swan? I would've bitch slapped my sister back to the damn Lake… and sent the prince packing… that's the easy way out. The White Swan is… a babe."

Nina felt Jade staring right through her.

"I'm obsessed with the White Swan… the technical brilliance of the White Swan…" Jade whispered. "I want to learn from… a White Swan…"

Nina gulped as the image of their reflection seemed to flash white… both of them sitting down in the costume of the White Swan. Jade and Nina sat silently, Nina nervously just going back to her food, drinking her coconut juice.

"Nina?"

Nina almost spat out her drink as she heard Lily's voice, turning around. "L-lily…"

"Lily! You're early too!" Jade waved excited. "Come on over and sit! We got grub…"

Lily was in her black sweats, looking at Nina sitting next to… her. She didn't make any facial expression as she walked over… almost like the first time… taking off those ear phones… almost like the first time again. Nina sat silently in awkwardness feeling Lily sit next to her, looking down at their matching drinks.

"The coconut thing…" Lily shook her head as she looked at Nina.

"Um… want some?" Nina knew it was a dumb question… deflating as she got a simple shake of her head.

"So what brings you in so early today?" Jade asked so eager to start the conversation. The way they were seated and separated was quite telling. Jade on one side… Lily and Nina on the other. In Nina's head? The Black and White Swan… were staring… at something else.

"… Swan Queen fitting." Lily said simply.

"Aw, sweet… I can't wait to see how that costume fits on me…"

"Nina… um can you do me a favor?" Lily smiled, kissing her very cutely on the cheek, glancing over at Jade. "I need my previous design we sketched out of the new Black Swan costume… can you get it for me?"

"Of course…" Nina smiled, stroking her.

"Shit…"

Lily and Nina blinked, glancing over to Jade who was fiddling with her finger.

"Oh… sorry I just got a hang nail… just a sec."

Nina froze in inner horror as she watched Jade pull at the skin, swearing to God she was going to see it peel all the way up… just like last time. The skin kept going like planned and Jade was smiling about it the whole time. What was she… a White Swan? A Black Swan?

"Ah… that's so damn annoying… Right gals?" Jade went back to her breakfast quite happily as Nina stood up abruptly. The hallucination was created but Jade's smile was as real as can be.

"Um… see you guys at practice."

"Later Nina take your coconut."

"Um I'm full uh… thanks…" Nina stammered as she kissed Lily on the lips, walking off in a hurry… looking back at two dark winged Swans sitting in silence. The reflection in the mirror had Jade winking at her… Black Swan make up full attired… but with the White Swan costume adorned.

_Choose her… you know she can handle me and my sister…_

Nina high tailed it out of the room.

"Wow Lily you're so lucky…" Jade watched her leave. "Nina's such a _sweet_ girl."

"Stay away from her." Lily said it sternly. "You can mess with me all you like? But really… stay away from her."

"Uh, she's going to be my choreographer… that'll be a little difficult Lily."

"Go talk to Thomas then."

"Oh… I will too… Mr. Leroy is quite the looker." Jade kept eating, smiling at a naughty thought. "Is he going out with Beth?"

"Do you really have to be this irritating?"

"Because I bet inside that strong sexy man is a warm and fuzzy… teddy bear…" Jade laughed as she tapped her plate with a fork. "That'll be so cool… both you and me. Swan Queens dating our choreographers huh?"

"You haven't got the part yet…" Lily reminded her with a smile.

"Oh… really now? … I haven't huh? That's… news to me."

"Well here's another news flash for you… this isn't years ago." Lily tapped her finger. "You want to live out your dream go ahead. I have no right to stop you." She stood up hands on the table. "But if you think things are going to play out the same way again like before? You need to fucking wake up princess."

Jade was silenced at the strong words. She just looked as Lily now walked off with her own strut, putting on her ear phones and leaving a wake of her new confidence. Jade pulls out the knife without peaking down and presses it into her fruit, smiling to herself. It pierced through… like a blade… no… like a glass… through skin?

"I just want what you have Lily." Jade drank the fluids, thinking of her future... their future. "… Is that so much to ask?"

_It's true, the way I feel…  
was promised by your face  
the sound of your voice  
Painted on my memories_

_Now I'm trapped in this memory  
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake  
Slow to react  
Even though you're close to me  
You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back_

_It's true, the way I feel  
was promised by your face  
the sound of your voice  
Painted on my memories_

_Even if you're not with me?  
I'm with you!  
You, now I see, keeping everything inside!  
With you!  
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes!_

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for delay... this chapter was so dialogue heavy... I had to really think about it. Oh and about the Black Swan tone? ... I lied. I think I found it again. :)

Countdown to the **Black**out... thanks for you eager readers. You guys keep me on my toes.

Truly, I forgot to answer the question... about my confusing other fanfic... you just gotta hang on till the end. It will be explained.


	6. Chapter Five: A Cure For The Itch

**A/N: **We luv Natlee Puttman... and Mila Coonis. Dos dan't dun... STFU!

* * *

**Chapter 5: A Cure For The Itch**

_You're so hypnotizing  
Could you be the devil?  
Could you be an angel?_

_Your touch magnetizing_  
_Feels like I am floating_  
_Leave my body glowing_

Nina pulled a sketchpad out of the drawer that was the top left compartment of her desk. The rough markings and chicken scratches created the image rather clearly. The design of what the Black Swan was in this newest production was right in her face. This would be the earliest form of what was as close to her vision as it could get. It didn't take long for Nina to know that Lily had a little bit of a pencil artist in her (apparently high school was a lot of sketching practice). And from Nina's descriptions they both wanted and were close to bringing the monster of Nina's nightmares to life on stage in its complete form.

The Black Swan was so many things for Nina. An extreme of one emotion to another. Fear. Hatred. Acceptance. And now? A tense appreciation. In hindsight the other self that haunted her was a necessary evil. The hallucinations that drove her mad also forced her to change. That felt so long ago but yes, the Black Swan represented a time of bleakness for Nina and the same time it was the Black Swan that pushed her to where she was now. The image that almost killed her was now the world's perception of her.

_Where did you go? _Nina looked at the pencil drawing of Odile like a lost acquaintance, black feathers radiating from her like clouds of darkness.

She looks at the mirror, knowing a hallucination wasn't going to come. Nina had control over her mind even though it was still a bit fragile. Even what she was seeing in Jade that made her uncomfortable was barely even a tick of what she used to experience. It was ironic what she was feeling inside. An emptiness that she never knew she had until she went 'crazy'. It was nice… to lose it. It was nice to be extreme for once in her repressed life.

_I liked it._

_I needed it._

Nina shook her head. She couldn't believe that there would come a time like this where she actually wanted guidance from that dark self that emerged in nightmarish flashes long ago. She tries her best and imagines Opening Night, trying to make this office just like her dressing room on that fateful day in her mind. She wanted the encounter, one of those encounters that haunted her. This time? She was actually ready for one.

"_Aw what's wrong?" Lily sits at her makeup table with the Black Swan make up already on. "You don't look so good. I'm worried about you."_

"… I feel a little lost and scared." Nina whispers at her imagination, her wild thoughts.

"_Afraid of losing me huh?" Lily smiles, saying it all too neighborly. "There's so much pressure on you to be something you're not isn't it?"_

Nina didn't even flinch.

"First off I'm not afraid of losing _you." _She eyes defiantly at 'Lily', looking down at the sketch, and then back to the mirror. "I'm afraid of losing Lily."

"_Oh right. I can't trick this strong Nina." The image of the Black Swan curls her head so amused like in the sketch, her face morphing to the more familiar Nina. "I forgot you aren't so weak minded anymore. Heh. My, my, my look at you and what you've become. Color me proud. You're doing so well aren't you?"_

"… I don't feel so strong at all." Nina rolled her eyes back towards her forced imagination. "The changes I've made… only feel skin deep."

"_Aw poor baby." The Black Swan teased with her pouting lips. "Sorry if I don't start crying tears of sympathy. You've had plenty of time to do change in the ways you needed to. How long has it been again?"_

"_You_ were supposed to change me in more ways than one." Nina spoke a little louder, knowing she was talking to herself. "I wanted to leave behind the weakness. I was supposed to become-"

"_What? The Black Swan that's frolicking like a whore on the stage needs to flow into your life in more ways?" The Black Swan giggled darkly. "You want me to dance life for you now? Hah! You want nothing to do with me anymore don't you? You're trying to get rid of me aren't you? You don't want to dance my dance anymore remember?"_

_~ The flame of the white candle is almost out. ~_

"Living life is much harder than any dance." Nina hugged herself in the reality unlike before. "I need to get out of this spotlight and work on things that matter. I can't fix… years of wrongful living in a span of a couple of months. Especially months where I'm thinking about nothing but ballet. I don't want your dance steps. I don't need that."

"_So what? You're back to square one. What do you want from me then? You obviously wanted to talk to me. I'm listening… for now."_

"I need to become more of you… but not be you." Nina stared at the dark reflection. "I need the Black Swan off the stage… not the one on it. I've done that dance too many times now and nothing's changed. No more premeditated dance choreography. No more symbolism. I need it to be real. I need to be unpredictable. I need to become-"

"_Perfect…"_

"Perfect… for my love. Yes." Nina thought warm thoughts of Lily, knowing that she deserved a woman that had the softness, kindness and understanding of the White Swan. But also have the fun and adventurous side of the Black Swan. This wasn't Swan Lake. This was a dance of life and this was Nina's new obsession. Lily was worth the effort. There will be no reason for her to ever leave Nina.

_Her reflection only laughed at the notion. "Being so self-improving for the sake of love. It's a cute thought. But I can't help you. Not this time dear. No more me to make you feel the way you want to feel. We danced this tango before and that's enough."_

"What? In my darkest time you had no trouble interfering with my life and nearly taking it." Nina scolded at herself. "Now I'm telling you I need your help and you're telling me no?"

"_I can't do anything for you. No more using me for excuses. I'm not going to be your damn excuse for anything anymore. You want to stick your neck out and be something more for Lily? Do it yourself. You want to be strong? Do it yourself."_

Nina stared at it silently.

"_What happened to that big speech you gave me when you danced against Lily for the role?" The Black Swan shrugged. "I thought you had control of me. I thought I was supposed to be a part of you forever. Hah… are you all talk?"_

"This is important. This isn't like last time. This is no dance for show. This is my life." Nina begged. "This is my first relationship and I want it to be my only one. I know… the chances of that are slim but I need to do everything I can to keep this. Lily is everything to me… she's-"

"_She's not just your crutch. She's your backbone. Stop talking like a little weak girl." The Black Swan was now a bit upset. "I'm done with you and your whining. You can't depend on anyone that much. Even with someone like Lily. You're just afraid of falling back into where you were if you lose her. I thought your love was unconditional." _

"I don't care. I just love her. I can't lose her… ever. No matter what the reasons are." Nina denied any doubt. The Black Swan was met with a stern face this time… no fear or backing down. "It has nothing to do with conditions. It's just the way… we are as humans. I see relationships fail… I won't let it happen."

"_Whatever dear. Like I said you want help from me? Tough luck." The Black Swan closed her eyes smiling. "Handle it on your own or find someone real. You're a little too old to be playing with imaginary friends aren't you?"_

Nina sighed a weak breath as she leaned against the wall.

"_Face it Sayers… maybe this is it. Maybe you're just going to be Ms. Ballet for the rest of your life and hopefully that's good enough for Lily."_

"No. She… deserves better than that." Nina whispers. "I have to be more! I can't give up."

"_Heh, well we both know who you can ask and learn from. The one that kept Lily on a leash for so long even though she's a bitch." The Black Swan laughed. "You know who I'm talking about right?"_

Nina squinted, staring as the Black Swan turned, standing and morphing into her in a blurry mess as expected.

"_So you want me to teach you how to be complete? To be both White as snow and Black as midnight?" Jade looks at her with seductive yet obsessive eyes. "Give me the role and I'll take the burden of the Black Swan and White Swan away from you." She stepped closer to Nina with every sexy sway of those hips, getting next to the ballerina chest to chest, right against her neck, breathing on her._

Nina didn't move, looking at what she was trying to project. Their lips were so close to touching. A finger ran down Nina's chest…

"_Let me dance the Swan Queen for you and maybe I can teach you a few things." Jade's tongue almost touches Nina's as her mouth was agape. "You have the White Swan down girlfriend. You just need the right amount of Black Swan in you and Lily will be yours forever. The perfect little life… for the perfect little couple."_

"Forever..?" Nina snapped out of it on cue, staring at the pencil drawing of Odile on the pad again. In reality these were just thoughts but they spoke to her much clearer than before. She began to notice something she never really thought about in the drawing. The face that Lily drew for Odile wasn't of herself and it wasn't of Nina. It was a generic Black Swan… or so Lily said at the time.

Nina didn't know it was just her head but it was starting to look like someone _else_.

_They say be afraid  
You're not like the others, futuristic lovers  
Different D-N-A,  
They don't understand you_

_You're from a whole another world  
a different dimension  
You open my eyes  
And I'm ready to go, lead me into the light_

- B – B – B –

_Become the Black Swan._

The mantra was as strong as ever. Lily had become infused in this role just as much as Nina had in the past year. The public perception was that she was the darker of the two and between them they of course shared the same thought. It's no surprise that Lily was once again carrying the banner for the Swan Lake show, and for Nina no one else could do it better.

The dark beauty stares at the mirror, crimson eyes glowing against the makeup light as she was being fitted with the costume that made Swans what it was. Black feathers draped across skin so tight it was a part of the body, toner make up to pale the skin, and black tendrils pulling against the face… showing the tension of what Odile represented towards everyone in the world of Swan Lake.

"How do the wings feel?"

Wings to fly. This was the newest addition to the costume. A full pair of life-like wings for the finale of the Black Swan like Nina wanted for a long while now.

"I like it… but it's kind of itchy." Lily pulled her 'wings' upward, flapping them out flat and back to a coiled position. They looked… real and amazing. It was nice what money could buy once investors and sponsors would put cash into the show.

"Haha, I'll work on the itchiness." Costume lead Georgina took a hard look at Lily, eyeing her up and down. "Otherwise? You look great right? Very scary. Very beautiful."

"Thank you." Lily never took an eye off herself as she analyzed beyond the skin, looking at her rendition of the devilish Odile. Her old life used to mirror this beast so closely it was frightening. She was beginning to think and reflect on how she became that sexual creature, constantly hunting for pleasure and numbness. Every night was the same. Get drunk. Get high. Get rolled. Find someone… and wake up the next day… not knowing who they were. It was… meaningless.

_You'll never get over me Lily… She_ smiles. There's always a reason for the way people are who they are. Nina's personality was molded by her scarred past. Lily was no different.

"Something bothering you Lily?" Georgina was adjusting the feather positioning on the wings. "You're not as talkative lately. For the past week it's been this way actually."

"Heh, I thought that most of the studio would say that's a good thing." Lily beamed in recovery.

"Well I am not one of them. I actually like your spark. It'd be boring here with you." Georgina kindly said in all truth. Lily couldn't take the kind words with any grace, silently folding her wings up to the side and looking at herself again. She tried to compare this Lily… this improved Lily to the one that came off the plane from San Francisco. It was nothing but a cloudy thought.

"Georgina…" Lily's stare at herself could stop a lion in its tracks. "Do you remember your impressions of me the first time we met?"

Georgina adjusted her glasses as she veered upward, hands still primping those feathers. It was a strange question. "Wow that feels like a long time ago doesn't it?"

"Very long ago…" Lily agreed, not wanting to be dancing around the question. "But please be straight with me ma'am."

"I don't know any other way to do it."

_You are such a mystery Lily._

"Okay what were you like… let me see…" Georgina had a thoughtful glance to the ceiling. "Well obviously the first time I saw you, I thought you were a very pretty girl. You had a fun nature about you. You're very magnetic and charismatic. Probably very popular among all the boys."

"Bu~t…" Lily said with a waved tone, almost teasingly.

"… Well I always felt that there was a wall that you put up every time we spoke." Georgina stated with a sad reverence. "You were always smiling at me but it didn't always feel genuine. I always felt that you were hiding something from everyone. It's just hard to tell it with a pretty face and a room stealing personality but dear I've been around the block too many times."

"Right…" Lily turned to Georgina, knowing this woman understood her as much as anyone beyond Nina. "Well, in your experience do you think I'm better now?"

"Of course. Much better…" Georgina laughs at the thought of the question. "I think Nina… did a lot for you. You both did a lot for each other. I mean you're… asking me deep questions now right?"

"Yes... Nina taught me how to… emote I guess." Lily grinned at the thought of her _ballerina babe_ as she called her. She twirled back into the less appealing subject. "Look, it's just I honestly don't remember what I was like when I came here. I was so many things to so many people… even for me? I was more like a ghost or a shadow something. Just an empty blank slate… that can be anything. Anything anyone wished it to be."

_Lily the newcomer. Lily the sexual deviant. Lily the natural. Lily the rival. Lily… the mystery. Lily the lover. Lily the friend. Lily… the enemy._

"And I was okay with it for some reason or another."

"You're no ghost or shadow. You're very passionate and you have a lot of substance now… maybe you were just lost for a while. But everything is good now right?"

"I hope." Lily stated a bit cryptically.

Georgina stopped her fiddling and patted Lily's head, not wanting to take this nonsense. "You're great. I know you might be having some issues with the other girl… with the same tattoos you have."

"Georgina… er… let's not go there."

"H-hey I'm just saying she's obviously bothering you. I think everyone knows that." The lead costume designer sighed. "She only speaks highly of you by the way."

"I'm sure she does." Lily rolled her eyes, wishing this would stop derailing towards that fucking girl. Georgina was a bit disappointed at her body language.

"… It's not like you to hold grudges Lily. I know you must be upset because of something horrible." Georgina only got a cold shoulder as a reply, going back to work on the wings after a second of Lily's complete shutdown. "Heh, you know when I was your age I had a bad fallout with a loved one."

"G… please… you're like an aunt figure to me. I don't want to hear your romances." Lily gasped.

"Oh come on you'll enjoy it. It all-"

"Georgina I am being serious. Don't…"

"… It all started back on prom night… it was a wonderous-"

"No Georgina!" Lily plugged her ears with her wings and began humming a Swan is born. "La… la la la... la la… la la…"

"Alright… alright alright." Georgina laughed brokenly as she pulled Lily's wings down from those ears. "Hold still, I need to finish this or Thomas will be all over me screaming today. We're taking this show on the road pretty fast."

"Can't wait…" Lily had her own little giggle going, loving the silly relationship these two had. Georgina really felt like a mother goose to these swans. Things around this place had become like family. This felt like home now. At least dealing with Jade she was on her home turf. She had support here.

"That's the pretty real smile we all miss." Georgina grinned gleefully. "Smile and laugh more like that. That's the Lily your Nina probably fell in love with. The Lily we all enjoy." She finished the wings with one last swoop of her brush. "Don't let things get to you… no matter how bad it seems. Handle it with-"

"A genuine smile… I know." The Black Swan in Lily gestured with a grin and a pose.

"You and Nina have become like my own daughters. I'm watching over you two like a hawk." Georgina patted Lily's back and the Black Swan was gleaming with that superstar look. "Well now, you're looking like you're ready to face the crowds across the world Swan Queen."

"Totally." Lily nodded to herself in the mirror, history swooping across her head. She grins even a bit bigger than usual. "… I think I'm also ready to face something else too…"

_Kiss me, k-k-kiss me  
Infect me with your lovin'  
Fill me with your poison_

_Take me, t-t-take me  
Wanna be your victim  
Ready for abduction_

- B – B – B –

Loud music made Nina walk in with ears plugged and senses numb. Leaving Jade alone in the practice room would of course turn into a listening party, a very San Fran girl thing to do. She expected Jade to be dancing like a maniac though. And Nina was a bit surprised to see the dark haired girl sitting in the middle of the floor cross legged and eyes closed. She had her hands on her knees and was as silent as the wind. She was meditating to some loud… distorted and twisted music.

_[Music]: WOMP WOMP… YE-YE-YE-YAAY… WOMP WOMP. GE-GA-GA-GE-GA-GA-WOOOMP_

Nina walked over to the boom box that was shaking from subsonic sound waves and lowered the volume, finally being able to free her ears. That was too much… bass. Too much shrill. Too much… not ballet concerto.

"Was it too loud?" Jade didn't even open her eyes.

"My office was shaking… from across the building." Nina was being as honest as can be. The San Fran girl got a kick out of it.

"Heh, you know what they say Nina, if it's too loud? You're too old." Jade smiles to herself as she kept in perfect meditation form. Nina could only curiously circle her in awkward observation. This girl was zen too?

"So… you're… meditating?"

"No. I'm floating Nina." Jade whispers in an unexpected answer, not breaking her position. "Floating to dubstep…"

"Uh, floating?"

"Right… you're probably saying Jade, you're not floating. Your cute little ass is still on the floor." Jade mimicked in a softer voice, eyes still closed tight. "But that's the thing I've been realizing lately." She calmly breathes. "It doesn't matter what people perceive of me. The only thing that matters is what I perceive… what I think is real."

_What's real?_

_Nina in the mirror. Nina at the train station. Nina tearing her skin apart. Nina becoming… a Swan. Nina dying._

_What's real?_

"I think I'm floating, therefore I am floating." Jade opened her eyes now slowly towards the dancing mirror, now back into this plane of existence. "I think therefore I am… right?"

"Decartes…" Nina recognized old philosophy from her studies. Nina was a studious girl.

"Hmm, was it Decartes? Or was it Socrates?"

"No… I'm pretty sure it was Decartes."

Jade paused as she looked at Nina with a puzzled face. "Eh… okay." She ultimately shrugged after a second's thought like a layman philosopher, getting down on her back. "One of them old dead bastards said it. Smart man whoever did. And as we know? A smart man is quite few and far between."

Nina could only nod her head in pseudo agreement as Jade leapt to her feet in an athletic stand up. Wise words tempered with a confidence that forced people to listen was a powerful combo. "I uh never took you as a philosophy type."

"Oh madam you give me too little credit. I live my life and concern myself with the five B's." Jade began counting off on her hand. "You got Boys. You got Babes. You got Ballet. And you got the all important Brain."

"… That's only four." Nina took a peak at those fingers.

"Oh… right! And Black Ops." Jade laughed. "Sorry that one's new." She stuck her tongue out. "You've ever played X-box? Video games?"

"… Can't say that I have."

"Oh my god, it's too fun!" Jade was so animated. "Especially when you yell at people over internet after you kill them. You have to try it sometime."

Nina laughed it off in scattered chuckles and then nervously looked at the clock, seeing fifteen minutes before everyone would start pouring in. Being in a room with Jade felt like being forced to walk around a trap filled floor. Jade seemed to be staring at her amused as Nina tried to walk off the hunter's glare. Nina was the delicate flower still after all this time.

"Oh Nina, I've been having issues with a certain part of the White Swan variation. Can you give me some pointers before practice?"

"Sure, that's what I'm here for." Nina suddenly got more comfortable with that question, and breathed easy. Jade seemed to ask this by design but it was welcomed either way.

"It's this part right towards then end of Odette's Coda." Jade got into position. "I've been watching that tape on you this whole week and I can never fucking get this part down." She spun into a pirouette and tip toed to center. She suddenly bends and twists her hips, curving her neck towards the mirror. She glances over at Nina while locking her body down. "… See the problem?"

Nina the choreographer sees everything…

"… Yes I do." Nina clapped. "Very good footwork."

"Nina… I'm serious…" Jade rolled her eyes. "How the fuck do you get your neck to crane in this position like you do every night?" She winced. "Is your neck like an owl's neck or something? Can you pull an exorcist neck spin?"

"Heh, you're just not in the right position." Nina walked over to her, pressing her to the side.

"Dude, I've been looking at your feet and your entire body. This is-"

"It's an onstage illusion. Your hips aren't supposed to be in this position first off." Nina spun her pirouette with an effortless grace and landed with her foot straight but arched. "You have to give yourself leverage on the right foot so you can lean back without bending your spine." She then turned her hips slightly to the left. "Off set your hips but do not move your chest left or right. Twist your chest against your other hip… and then…"

"You got the Swan's neck…" Jade's eyes lit up, slowly copying Nina move for move. She got it and Nina's teacher insides fluttered happiness. "Holy crap it was just that… I guess I missed some details. Fuck… that's not acceptable. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. You have great technique. You can't expect to be perfect."

Jade suddenly flinched at the words, looking at Nina with almost disgust. "Oh no Nina please. Not you too."

"W-what?"

"… You're talking like _them." _Jade looked so disappointed. "Okay Ms. Sayers if you decide to not pick me as your Swan Queen for some crazy reason and I leave your life forever please listen and remember these words."

"… Alright."

"Don't let people cheat you from greatness." Jade made a mocking face and voice. "Oh 'you can't be perfect'. 'Being perfect is not possible'… Oh fuck _them._ You know who _they _are right Nina?"

"N-not exactly…"

"Those rhetoric spitting assholes that don't know what they're talking about." Jade laughed. "Everyone's so quick to give you advice and knowledge when they don't know shit. Look at you. I bet _they _were telling you that perfection isn't possible right? Did they see Opening Night? Did they see perfection in front of their faces?"

_I was perfect._

"You were perfect. And it must have felt brilliant."

"But I almost died that night."

"That's not the point. You didn't die now did you?"

"…"

"And look at your life now." Jade crossed her arms. "Imagine if you listened to those idiots telling you it wasn't possible to be perfect. What would your life be like?"

_Would Lily be mine?_

"I hate them. And I won't listen to that nonsense." Jade pointed at her. "You _can_ be perfect. You _can_ have that… healthy fruit cake and eat it too. You _can_ kill two birds with one stone."

_Kill… birds…_

"Don't let non talented quitters tell you how to do your business." Jade sighed as Nina listened. "Don't let anyone take away what makes you unique. You're SPECIAL Nina. Why do you talk like you're not? … Don't let _them _bring you down to their level_._"

_Special…_

"When I'm the Swan Queen, I don't want any pats on my ass for a good job." Jade looked as serious as can be. "I want you to kick my ass every little mistake. I want to and I _can _be perfect. Anyone who replaces you needs to have that expectation or they should just pack their bags and go home."

"Jade… I can't be a tyrant-"

"I'm not asking you to. I'm telling you to." Jade smiles, patting her shoulder. "Look if you don't have anything constructive to say to me just don't say anything at all. Save your praises for the weak girls that need it… okay? I need your help on this. Please."

Nina could only nod as if she was the submissive one. Not exactly a student teacher relationship. "Fair enough."

"See, we're already teaching each other stuff. This is the start of something great Nina. I can feel it!" Jade began popping the same move over and over again, Nina watching closely. A perfectionist… that was what Jade seemed to be. Nina asked Lily along time ago why she was so interested in her. She told Nina that she reminded Lily of herself…

Right now, Nina wondered if it wasn't the complete truth. Maybe Nina represented a part of Jade that Lily was using to conjure up old memories. Regardless… Nina knew this was an example of what she could be if she wanted it bad enough. Jade was her example like she was an example for any aspiring Swan Queen.

_Teach me how to be… perfect. The perfect girl._

… _I can see why Lily loved you._

_Maybe I can learn from what went wrong… and make it right for me._

- B – B – B –

[ Decision Day ]

A couple of days went by so quickly and it was time for the pivotal moment of the new era of Swan Lake. The entire ensemble gathered into the main area of the Leroy and Sayers studio, a few press and editors littering the edges of the room. This wasn't like the last time there was an announcement of the Swan Lake cast pasted on the wall so girls can read their fate. The stakes were much higher now. The glitz and the glamour were much more evident. _Swans_ was a million dollar business. The hoopla was just more reason Nina had to step away.

"Hey Nina, Lily!" Gailana pushed her way into the front. "After this want to go with me and Madeline for a smoke out session before watching Your Highness?" Even in the face of epic announcements the core group of ballerinas was used to it.

Lily blinked as Nina was holding her hand in cute couple fashion. "Your Highness? Isn't that the medieval stoner movie with those Pineapple Express guys and-"

"Kiera Knightley!" Madeline interrupted. "You get to see her ass as she bathes. I would so go gay for her…"

"Wow, as tempting as that sounds I have to go do my own Hollywood thing."

"You're going on set today right?" Nina nudged. "I thought it was-"

"Yeah they pushed it up a couple of days. Cool huh?"

"Oh right! You're a body double for that Vanessa Hudgens ballet movie right?" Gailana was really into the Hollywood scene. "God Lily's like hanging out with movie stars now. Not fair."

"What movie? High School Ballet Musical?" Madeline cracked.

"Hah… I know… I know." Lily shrugged meekly. "Not exactly The King's Speech but its good money and hopefully it gives us a bit more press because you know how much of a press whore I am."

"Wow, I'm dating a famous movie star now." Nina smiled as she held onto Lily like a vice.

"Yeah, they'll probably just CGI that girls face over me as I do some dancing parts. Totally movie star…"

"You really look like that girl though. They should just leave it." Gailana suggested like a movie mogul. "And speaking of which you look like that girl from Modern Family too. You know the one with Al Bundy in it? Lily… you just got that actress look."

"Uh thanks?"

"… Er, Nina what about you?" Madeline closed Gailana's mouth manually. "Want to hang out with us?"

"Sorry guy bust I can't… I have to be here. Once the roster is announced the real work begins." Nina said it with a little worry. She was nervous of the workload that was ahead for her but had an excitement of this new show. A loud squeal of the P.A. creating feedback got everyone's attention. The photos already began to flicker and light up the room as Thomas Leroy took stage.

"Bonjour." Thomas Leroy suddenly spoke over the P.A. "I would just like to say that it's been a challenge for all of those that have been trying out for the show. We here at the studio appreciate all your efforts and this decision was a very difficult one. I won't take too long with this because we have a lot of work to do. Those that did not make the Swan Queen role… you have guaranteed spots in this performance. Your work will be rewarded."

"It was a unanimous decision right?" Lily stroked Nina as she already had a feeling of the results.

"The sponsors said it was a no-brainer. They found their star they said… me, Beth, and Thomas had very little say really."

"But honestly… you would've picked her anyway right?"

Nina was about to answer… but…

"Jade… congratulations… you are the new Swan Queen!"

The Frenchman said it and the party began. The clapping around the entire room echoed as the photography cameras clicked like mad. Nina and Lily peaked over at Jade who was getting hugs from those around her, even rivals conceding to her. She looked genuine in her facial expressions, smiling and even looking like she was about to cry. Nina felt the passion. Lily… was as cold as ice in her expression.

"Hey guys… just wanted to say… it's been a weird ride."

The somber voice cut through the mania. Nina and Lily both turned to see a casually dressed Veronica with her bag draped over her shoulder.

"Veronica. Are you…"

"I'm out." Nina's longer time rival nodded simply. The news was a bit disheartening.

"I'm guessing Thomas told you earlier huh?" Lily guessed with a calm reverence.

"Yeah. I figured Jade would win the spot so I've been thinking about this for a long time." Veronica looked at the two old Swan Queens, the girls that were in her way of the dream for a long time now. "I think it's about time I see if I can lead an ensemble. Sure, I could just ride this wave you both created again but… I think it's time I moved on. No bad blood guys."

"Ugh, Veronica… I feel so bad. You deserve a shot at this more than anyone else." Nina frowned. "You've been waiting longer than anyone."

"Heh, I hear that a lot but it's alright… I'm cool now." Veronica smirks at Nina's kindness. "I'll catch on somewhere else and take what I learned here. Hopefully I finally crack that lead spot I've been dreaming about."

"You were damn close here Veronica." Lily slowly extended her hand. "I know we didn't really see eye to eye a lot but… you got my respect."

Veronica just stared at the hand for a second, laughing a little as she took it. These two shaking hands was a sight no one would ever think of seeing. "You got mine too. We probably will never be best friends but… I'll give credit where it's due."

"That's all I expect." Lily winked.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make that dream come true Veronica. I really thought this would be it." Nina sighed. "That this was your time."

"It's alright. I think we had a good run." Veronica bowed her head to Nina. "You and I pushed each other for so damn long… it's strange thinking how I hated your guts back then…" She smiles as Lily and Nina made a face. "But now? I'm happy that we're good with each other. I'll still check out the show and wish you two luck and I'll critique the hell out of it too if it sucks."

"I would expect nothing less." Nina reached out and hugged Veronica… her first rival… now leaving the company it felt more bittersweet than either of them could imagine. Veronica patted her back. "Take care of yourself Veronica."

"You taught me a lot Nina. I won't forget it."

"No! Not you too!" Gailana tantrum'd her way into the conversation. "You're going to break up the Sexy Swan gang? Me, you, and Mad. We're like sisters!"

"Heh I'm going to miss you guys too… kind of." Veronica joined her two friends in a glorious good bye, Nina and Lily only staring at their fake smiles as they had their emotional moments. Changes were coming fast.

"It's slowly becoming less and less of my production." Nina whispers as she began to think about all this expansion. "Another one of the girls I thought I'd never drive away… leaves. I wanted the same core here as long as I was in charge."

"… It'll be okay." Lily kissed her forehead. "You still have me... that's pretty good right?"

"Yes… yes I do."

_I'll have you… forever if I could._

"Nina! Lily! Come on! Press pictures! What are you guys doing?" Beth rolled over to them and shooed them up the stairs. Nina and Lily yelped as they were forced up the stage where Jade waited for them, grinning a huge victor's grin. She had won the lottery.

"Nina! I did it! Thanks to you!" Jade pranced as she was all giddy next to her. Nina could only smile while Lily just nodded away.

"It was all you Jade." Nina made sure the credit was with the one who deserved it. "Congratulations."

"Aw you little modest mouse." Jade waved appreciation at Nina and turned to Lily. "And what about you… my fellow Swan Queen. My new partner in crime on the ballet stage. This is just like we dreamed of when we were young. Young and dumb right?"

Lily didn't say a word for a moment, looking at Jade and then smirking. "I guess you did deserve this part. Congratulations…"

"Huh," Jade blinked in the most pure surprise. Something more vicious was expected. "Uh, that was a lot nicer than I was expecting."

"Well… just needed a little perspective is all. I'm not a slave to anything." Lily held Nina by the waist like she owned her. "My life's great. I get to lick this girl's pussy. And I got nothing to be mad about. I don't have to like you. You just better be dependable as a professional and we'll have no problems."

"Heh… heh… finally the Lily I remember shows her face." Jade clapped amused. "Nice to see you again. I won't let anyone that chose me down. That I promise the both of you."

"Your promises don't mean anything." Lily smiled bringing Jade closer. "If you fuck with the production or do anything to screw with Nina's success and I'll ram my fist down your throat got it?"

Jade stared and playfully gulped at the threat, nodding in a gracious smile. "Fair enough old friend. I'm looking forward to working with you… partnah." She winked, Lily just letting her go and smiling for the cameras again. Nina heard the conversation and stood in the middle of the two an awkward road block to prevent chaos. These two Black Swans… were going to be one dynamic… pair.

SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! The ballerinas all began to chant.

"Alright wow.. .what to say damn…" Jade got into the microphone without much hindrance. "Well this is a huge honor for me. I've been a big fan of Swans and Nina for a long long time. And everyone knows me and Lily go way back… god damn this is such a dream come true for me!" She seemed speechless. "I just want to thank everyone that chose me… I guess. Um… thanks everyone!"

Everyone cheered… only to have Jade interrupt.

"Oh before I forget! Suzie tells me that Bob here, one of our biggest sponsors is throwing a party for me and the entire cast tomorrow. So it's at the Ritz Carlton lounge tomorrow at 9:00 p.m. but it ain't gonna be a normal party as far as I'm concerned. I'm officially declaring this party a Blackout."

_Black out?_

"Yes so get the word out on Facebook, Twitter, or whatever you got!" Jade was as enthusiastic as ever. "No one gets in without a variation of the Black Swan costume on. It's time we Black Out New York City. We're going to let the freaks in all of us come out to play a little bit. Is everyone cool with that?"

The entire room began to rumble and cheer.

"Tomorrow night we let the Black Swan out in all of us… then we get to work right Nina Lily?" Jade turned to the two girls who really didn't know what to say.

Nina could only look at Jade and back at Lily, nodding in a smile as a new era in her production and life had begun.

_Blackout…_

_Black Out…_

_Let the Black Swan… Out._

* * *

**A/N: **Next chapter... Blackout (The Club Scene Part II)!


	7. Chapter Six: Blackout Pt 1

**A/N: **Sorry for delay... life is grabbing me by the throat and throttling it. I felt bad for lack of an update so this is the first half... to Blackout. :)

* * *

**Blackout [Nina Frequency 2.0]: Part I**

[_Nina_ And _Lily's_ Crib | Apartment 409]

Like her career as a choreographer, living together with Lily was another unlikely dream that landed on Nina's lap. Besides their passionate relationship, that blessing was a constant reminder of what was important to her and what really mattered in life. When Nina struggled with her mind that year ago it was just her against all odds, something that she knew she couldn't win. But now? Every time she'd have a bad thought or a doubting notion all she needed was take a gander at their bedroom with a smile and a renewed strength.

The bedroom was like a sight from a bad sitcom, split down the middle with a fine imaginary line like Yin and Yang. Like Black and White. On Nina's side… everything was so neat and orderly. On Lily's side… her belongings such as lingerie and reading articles laid around out of place (and out of mind). They made the compromise of a tattered systematic room since the beginning and it had been working just fine. Black… white.

Compromise… a word that Nina was learning to detest. _Lily will never have to compromise for me again._

Neat Freak… a description of Nina that was another reminder of little Miss Goodie Two Shoes.

_Change is only superficial._

_A ballet dance… is superficial._

Nina pulled her top off and pants while standing in front of the dressing mirror, stripping down to the bare essentials in a smooth strip. Snow white lingerie couldn't exactly blend into her pale skin but it was close, her fragile porcelain beauty was still in great effect after another year. She looked at this new grown up Nina with eyes that only judged harshly. How strong is _this _Nina? … _What are you without someone as strong as Lily supporting you?_

"Damn Nina… tempting me already and it's only the beginning of the night huh?"

Before a reply could be had Nina felt arms wrap around her bare stomach, running across her silky skin, expert lips tickling her bony shoulders. Those peppered soft kisses up to her neck made her shiver in the cutest way still after all this time. Lily was salivating at the sight of a lingerie clad Nina in front of her. Nina was feeling the results of the lust.

"You're in white…" Nina whispers weakly as she felt like melting, looking at her girlfriend behind her through the reflection. Lily could make any dress look like money. A strapless white _Versace_ number was no exception.

"Yeah I figured since Jade asked for a Blackout… I'd be in white just to throw off the trend." Lily kissed Nina's head, smelling her sweet vanilla scent with an airy breath. The truth kept pushing into her like Lily's body was. Nina felt happy. Lily was back to her snug self and it was a nice sight. The bitterness was there… but it was coaxed with that vintage Lily-fied carefree attitude.

"You two are going to be at each other's throats the whole production aren't you?" Nina began stroking Lily's smooth arms, cuddling against her.

"Heh, it might be fun." Lily turned her head towards Nina's reflection, hugging her tight across her waist. "The sisters are supposed to be rivals anyway right?"

"… As long as you two don't start fighting on stage… sure." Nina pouted her lips and Lily rewarded her with a lover's peck. The White Swan of the two had her eyes closed while Lily's beautiful orbs only had a curious look.

"You're getting bags under your eyes Nina…" Lily examined closely the face that won her heart. "You're not getting enough sleep."

Nina rolled her lips in a nervous quip, nibbling on them before speaking. "The show… Swans won't let me sleep."

"Hey, didn't we agree that the show is never bigger than your well being?" Lily pressed tighter against her, almost holding her up straight. "Do I have to keep an eye on you 24/7 now to keep you _straightened out_?"

Nina didn't say a word, peaking at the mirror where the ugly side of truth never seemed to escape it. A mirror doesn't lie. If it weren't for a mirror… her madness would have never manifested itself. She watched as Lily held her so protectively and lovingly. Yet in her mind she kept thinking the same thing. Without this woman… Nina was nothing. Even now… Lily was at her back… no she… was her back. Her backbone. All the support she had.

_You can't live without her… but she can live without you…_

Nina suddenly broke off from Lily in a firm step foward, looking down to the ground in a combination of shame and regret. Lily could only let out a surprising little shrug, wondering why her caring grasp was broken.

"Did… I do something wrong? You okay?"

_You're never wrong._

"I… no…" Nina turned up with that smile that made Lily soften and sweeten up. "I just think we better get… to the party. We don't want to be late right?"

Lily looked at her curiously, trying to peal away at the Nina who always seemed to be hiding something… just like Old Lily. "Nina… you wanting to go party with the girls? Heh, you're kidding right?" She smiled, stroking her hair. "Stop being so cute with me you adorable babe."

"I mean… I'm the previous Swan Queen… I run the show… I have to set an example…"

"Nina…" Lily huffed. "They're all going to be so drunk even if Barack Obama walks in they won't give a shit."

Nina laughed lightly in reply, nodding as she gave into the fallacy of excuses. She pulled Lily's cheek into her lips for a kiss. "Look, let's just have fun… tonight without any distractions for once. The fun you're used to having okay?"

_Used to?_

"… Oi, not this again Nina." Lily rolled her eyes. "What's up with you? Did I ever say I missed the good ole days or something? Bar hopping? Clubbing? I'm fine."

"I can tell you do." Nina whispered honestly, looking at her with only sympathetic eyes. "I remember when we first started dating you were going to teach me the ropes of night clubbing. You were going to teach me how to just let go inside a place where no one judges you like a ballet stage."

_**We can learn from one another…**_

"Yeah, we were supposed to go have some night fun more often huh?" Lily nuzzled her very cutely across Nina's nose. "I remember that first club session with you…"

"Yes… yes it was a great time… for the most part." Nina remembered. "I enjoyed it… when it was enjoyable."

Nina could only picture the night of…

"So I guess we got a little sidetracked with the ballet thing." Lily gave a thought of the good ole days. The idea of having fun with Nina and letting loose… was something like a pipe dream. Lily enjoyed the primal dancing. She enjoyed the party atmosphere. Was she going to get plastered like she used to?

For Nina's healing sake… Lily never pushed it. But now with the changes…

"I'm going to make good on that promise." Nina came back into Lily's grasp, the darker of the two smirking as she had a beautiful ballerina's half naked body all up on her. "You've given up everything for me. An entire lifestyle… all that free fun that I know makes you who you are. Tonight things change."

"Nina it wasn't all fun and games. I did all that _stuff _because I wanted a hook up. Now that I have the best girl in the world it makes it a moot point don't you think?"

"I know… but… I know you miss a lot of things about it and I'm going to be there right next to you enjoying it... together."

"Wow… you make it sound like we're going on a quest for debauchery." Lily giggled at _this_ Nina, thinking how cute it was for her to want this so bad.

"I don't want you to compromise who you are to be with me." Nina breathed deeply. "I know what it's like to have expectations… unfair expectations on you. The world always forcing you and changing you to what it wants you to be." She began to run her fingers down Lily's shoulder blades… where her tattoos were. "We can be who we are… but we can also push to be who we want to be right?"

"Right…" Lily whispers, feeling so hot for her right now.

"I want to be the woman of your dreams…. Dancing next to you on a club dance floor… with the music loud… so close we're going to feel like we're in _ecstasy_." Nina lips were almost touching Lily's. "Just like you became the woman of my dreams… dancing next to me… on the ballet stage."

"You're already the-"

Nina teasingly pressed their lips together as she didn't want to hear anything to deter her thoughts. Lily was quite a bit shocked at the feelings Nina was letting out. She was clearly reminded about all the talks they had about Nina wanting to grow up and that she still had a long way to go. Lily remembered the girl at the club the first time. That tentative little angel playing with all those demons plainly unprepared. Now? Nina… was much stronger. Was Nina ready to finally come out and play?

"Anything you want Nina… I'm really flattered you'd want to do this just for me." Lily kissed her chin and neck, making Nina's heart pump faster. "Just remember this is about you too. You always wanted to… be wild and free."

"Well no more waiting and no more excuses…" Nina nodded in agreement. "I'm going to be free tonight. No more ballet. No more thinking about work. Just you and our fun. We both deserve a break."

"God… you sexy little swan…" Lily began letting her hands travel more freely around Nina's naked skin, eliciting moans that made Lily more excited. "Tell me why I shouldn't throw you on the bed… and fuck you right now."

"… Because that's for later tonight… until the sun rises." Nina blushed cutely, turning away, pushing gently off of Lily. The teasing young Sayers walked off just as excited as Lily was, stepping into the bathroom. Maybe this Nina was ready… for a night like this. For Lily and especially Nina the psychosis and dreams… felt so far away.

Any thoughts of her past were pushed out. Nina… demanded Lily's complete attention just like the ballerina on stage did.

- B – B – B –

[ The Club ]

When Nina walked out of the bathroom ready to go it might as well have been Opening Night. Lily was shocked and in awe seeing Nina spruced up in the blackness that symbolized her downfall and rise all that time ago. She wore her old Black Swan outfit. The one that used to frighten her, not the newer ones she used in the Swans production the last year. It was the exact same look that made her what she was today.

For Lily it was kind of freaky but…

"You really conquered that fear didn't you?" Lily felt strange being casually dressed, sitting next to the Swan Queen herself.

"I hope I did." Nina turned, eyes glittering blood red, fake black tendrils pulling at the skin. "… The Black Swan has done a lot for me. I'm happy… this is a costume party."

_I can look the part. Just like on a stage. Something I'm familiar with…_

"Heh… I do look kind of like a White Swan… you know me. So innocent and cute…" Lily touched Nina's pale skin, playfully running up her arm, and to her chin. Nina could only shiver, staring at the most beautiful creature she could ever ask to love.

"Kiss me…" Nina begs while the other takes it like a command.

"Why yes… your dark majesty…" Lily playfully conceded to the command, pulling them into a lip lock that was more reminiscent of their passionate love making kisses. Mouths opened slightly and tongues interlock in a warm succulent make out session.

Their lovey dovey insides were telling them tonight was going to be… great.

The door to their cab opens and the two Swans walked into the perfect storm. Pedestrians and fans alike were crowded along the streets, as the hotel had been closed down for the party at hand. There was a barricade with security across, a representative for the hotel taking Nina and Lily in towards the building.

NINA! LILY! The girls hear voices shout from the sides as they were ushered in. Lily stopped, smiling for cameras and holding Nina next to her, waving. Being the sweethearts they were, Lily steps towards the barricade and began greeting fans that seemed to be waiting for these two to show up. Nina followed along… noticing everyone was letting their Black Swan out. She was reminded of the impact of what Swans was. Nina wasn't so afraid of… the image anymore.

Everyone in black touched her. Everyone was Odile's reflection for tonight... just like she was.

"Nina! Lily! Come on!" Madeline's voice forced the two to turn, security pushing them towards the entrance. Gailana and Madeline were also living out their 'dreams'. The two finally got to dawn a variation of a Black Swan costume. Pretending to be the leads for once. In fact all the ballerinas were loving it… letting their versions of Odile come to life.

"How do I look as Odile?" Gailana strutted her stuff in high heels.

"You two look great." Nina perked up, smiling at friends dressed like her. She clapped in amusement.

"Why thank you boss…" Maddie bowed her head.

"Hey! You're not even dressed up Lily!" Gailana crossed her arms in disappointment.

"… I'm already the Swan Queen… don't need to rub it in." Lily countered with a flick of her hair. The girls just blew off some wind… knowing exactly why Lily wasn't playing along.

"Well at least you're out again. The club scene misses you Lily… you're like the life of the party."

"Hah… we'll see how much it 'missed' me."

"Oh… this is my song… Yeah! Uh huh… you know what it is…" Madeline just began dancing hearing the music from inside the club.

"Black and White Swan, Black and White Swan, Black and White Swan, Black and White Swan." Gailana finished her Swan Lake remix as they bumped butts. "I love Wiz K! Come on let's go in! It sounds so awesome in there already even from out here!"

Gailana, Madeline and the group of ballerinas rushed on in, clear reminders that they were _still _young women with a need to let loose. Lily and Nina were ready for it as well… or so they hoped.

"Heh, well let's see how well a group of ballerinas can party shall we?" Lily held Nina's hand, making their way towards the marquee sign glowing under Broadway lights. The words slowed them down to say the least.

_CONGRATULATIONS JADE! THE NEWEST SWAN QUEEN! _

Nina and Lily saw the lit up marquee like a blaze, both reading it silently with a reflective pause that quieted Time Square itself it seemed. The two had almost forgot who this party was for. Nina was hoping Lily was over this past completely. Deep down she wondered if their relationship could ever get this tumultuous. She was sure… Jade and Lily never thought theirs would be like this…

Nina would never compliment herself often but she knew one fact. Her ability to watch someone and learn quickly was uncanny. Watching any ballet dance she could break it down like it was child's play. With Jade like Lily before… she was going to watch closely. She was going to watch and learn from the newest Swan. This time she was a year older and a year wiser…

Into the lounge turned into now the most wicked club New York City had to offer they entered. The bouncer instantly recognized the two and let them in. That was the first obstacle. The next one was much more mouthy as many executives, male ballerinas, and 'big money' players greeted them.

"Yes… yes… I see" Nina rolled her eyes towards Lily as the last thing she wanted to do was to talk 'business'. Lily laughed quietly inside as she gladly aided the proceedings, not wanting to waste this opportunity to go all out with her love. She promptly pulled Nina away by the wrist, a graceful ballet lead, to the chagrin of the business peers who were left in mid speech.

"Sorry folks… but she's mine tonight." Lily waved at them, pushing towards all the commotion in the center of the club. "Dang… look at this place Nina."

"This is amazing." Nina said it like it was, both the girls looking at a club that stood the theme of Swan Lake with a purpose. It was like a castle from a fairy tale. It was like a dark lair from a nightmare. It was like… a pond of tears glowing as the pool on the outside was decorated with Swan ornaments.

Whoever organized this… went all out.

Suddenly the club music stopped, Nina and Lily blinking as the DJ glanced over with someone's point.

"Holy shit… the Swan Queens have arrived…" The girl on the mic on stage perked with glee.

Nina and Lily saw center stage as everyone in the room turned to look at them, slowly but surely claps being echoed across the entire space. Of course on stage was the one this was all for. A girl that was from head to toe… dressed like Odile. She was too much like Odile… so perfect and _dead _on even Nina felt the reality that stood on stage. That costume on Jade wasn't like the others in the room pretending to be the Black Swan.

The Black Swan was here…

"Now the party really starts ladies and gentlemen." Jade smiled like the devilish Black Swan, pointing to Nina and Lily. "Sorry to stop the music but the two girls that led this amazing show are here! Everyone show them our appreciation! Without them? Swans wouldn't even exist!"

The rowdy ballerina club crowd erupted as Lily just accepted the bows graciously, Nina not really reacting at all.

"What can I say about Nina and Lily that hasn't been said by horny young men everywhere?" Jade sat on the stage all calmly as she wiggled her feet. "They're like Peanut Butter and Jelly! French Fries and Ketchup! Perfect together right?" The ballet peers only hollered on as the drunken level of the room was already rising.

"… Well I am honored… to be able to continue the tradition of perfection that Nina laid out for us. I look forward to working with Lily… the sexiest ballerina to ever walk on stage. So tonight this isn't my party. Tonight we celebrate everything these two have done for us! Raise your drinks!"

All drinks were raised… a familiar sight for Nina. She might as well have been next to Thomas and on a staircase.

"To Nina and Lily! The best damn ballerinas in the entire world!" Jade led the toast to an enthusiastic roar, everyone taking a huge gulp of their over priced alcohol. "Okay now… that we've got the proper shit out of the way. I'd like to introduce you all to DJ Megatron…"

_[DJ Turntables]: B-b-b-ring it!_

"Tonight we're turning this place into a dubstep dome. Tonight… we're all in Odile's lair. Tonight… we're all Swan Queens… Tonight… we're all letting the Black Swan come out to play… right?"

Nina felt the crowd rumbling, antsy and ready to start an explosion of primal pleasure. Lily on the other hand was only staring at the object that was once her desires. That charismatic girl that just toasted her… a false praise she thought as she just tightened her grip on Nina's hand.

"Only the filthiest tracks are playing. So damn filthy that the only thing filthier tonight is what we're going to do to those we bring home with us alright?" Jade commanded as she pointed at the DJ… who suddenly pulled out a dark bird's mask and placed it on his head. "Fucking start the music. If anyone needs me my ass is going to be dancing inside the subwoofer!"

_**The rumble in the room began… an ambient darkness in the music releasing to the room.**_

_[Music:] I had a dream last night. About a girl who turned into a swan… (A swan.) But her prince falls for the wrong girl. (Wrong girl.) And she…_

_She…_

_Kills herself._

_**Kills herself.**_

_**Kills… herself.**_

_**KILLS HERSELF!**_

The dubstep beat based on Swan Lake blasted in a groove as the bass began to wobble and overwhelm, making the entire room of Black Swans groove against one another. Every low-end screech sounded like a growl… a monster trying to escape. Jade leapt off stage and made a b-line towards Nina and Lily… a waiter nearby being snatched of his glasses of champagne.

"Welcome to _our_ party!" Jade yelled into their ears, handing Nina and Lily their drinks… both girls tentatively taking it. She laughed at Lily, the only girl adorned in white and not dressed up like Odile. "Always breaking the rules Lily…"

"You know me!" Lily said a bit stoic, holding onto Nina tightly while Jade only smirked amusingly at the connection.

"Don't I?" Jade shot back with a wink.

"This party is amazing!" Nina yelled out at her replacement, snuggling close to Lily in reaction.

"We're only getting started my two favorite Swans!" She suddenly embraced them both tightly like good friends, leading both swans to blink dumbly. "Let it all hang out tonight because after tonight! We work work work! Right Nina?"

"R-right…" Nina nodded… feeling like she was speaking to a mirror as her eyes connected with Lily. Lily couldn't buy a word of it, slowly pushing out of the friendly embrace… it wasn't as comfortable as Lily made it seem.

"God!" Jade looked at them both so appreciatively. "I owe you both everything for making my dream come true! Come on! Follow me! I've got a VIP spot for us on the top floor! We can watch the madness and then join it later…"

Madness?

"Meet me up there you two when you can!"

Nina and Lily watched as Jade began to prance her sexily way towards the upstairs area, guys and girls staring at the vivacious vixen as she walked up the flight of stairs. Nina and Lily began to follow her carefully. Lily especially, moving up in a protective yet provocative strut of her own. Nina didn't know what she was dealing with. Lily knew it all too well…

Nina could notice the excitement in Lily though now. Her body already swaying to the music she missed so much. Nina let out a breath as she held onto Lily from her waist, kissing her neck caringly. It was time to let Lily free… and go along with the ride.

"Are you ready for this?" Lily said into Nina's ear as she stared the Black Swan down behind.

"… It's going to be different this time." Nina whispers to herself, only to speak louder into Lily's ear now. "I'm here for you… let's go…. Crazy…"

_Crazy…_

* * *

**A/N: **Crazy it will get...


	8. Chapter Seven: Blackout Pt 2

**A/N: **Sorry for longer wait... Natalie Portman's other movie... and just plain other things are in the way. There's only so much time in a day. Thank you for loyal readers who keep on reading and supporting. You're the only ones that keep me going! :)

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Blackout Part 2**

_You are, my cinema.  
I can watch you forever.  
Action, Thriller...  
I can watch you forever..._

_You are, my cinema.  
A Hollywood treasure.  
Love you, just the way you are.  
My cinema..._

_Get up, Get Down!  
Bounce to the sound!  
All them Swans gonna break it down!_

_Get up, Get down!  
Bounce to the sound!  
All them Black Swans gonna..._

Dr-dr-dr-dr-dr-DROP THAT BASS!

With a smooth sonic sweep and a growling crush, that bass indeed "dropped" as the electronic dance crowd would say. For the inebriated dancers it dropped so hard that not a soul in the club could resist its thumping power. Above the madness sat the Swan girls themselves, Lily shuffling her feet playfully while Nina and her nuzzled in their own corner of a suite. If it was the devilish deviants underneath being shameless it was the elegant elite on top enjoying it afar, the highest floor being the reserve overlook for the Swan cast tonight.

Nina could see nothing but black. Black clothes. Black feathers. A lot of Black Swans in the blackened crowd...

Just not _the_ Black Swan she was looking for...

"So is this party sweet or what my babies?" Jade popped her head in on the two swans before either could say a word, leaning over the barricade to get a peak down at the craziness she unleashed upon the club. "Kind of just like home right Lily? Just... not as much fake tits and Teflon."

"Heh... true." Lily simply replied with a forced smile, just holding onto Nina like a gentle vice. It was that familiar combination of romance and tension, the only formula Lily really knew in her life before Nina. Jade could only playfully take notice in a passing glance before eyeing her party again. Awkward just couldn't describe this... properly.

"God you two are so cute together." The new Swan Queen commented over the music, making it even more... awkward. "I think about the past and just kind of laugh. Sometimes things just work out for the best. And sometimes things work out... um... perfectly huh?"

"Yeah..." Nina peaked at Lily like a flash from the past, trying to remember the dark haze that was her life. "Perfect..."

"And this night is gonna be perfect too!" Jade sat down in a graceful plunk, quite snug and with that scope blue drink in her hand uninvited. "I figured since we're all going to be working together closely from here on out, I wanted this to kick off the way I only know how."

"Obnoxiously big...?" Lily took a sip of her champagne with a suspicious curl to her look.

"Yes that... and even more to the extreme." Jade took a peak at them both with confidence. "I'm all in guys. Tonight I'm letting loose but trust me, I'm totally serious. Jade's in this for the long haul and I'll even trade my sanity away! I'm in this to be someone worthy of replacing you Nina."

Nina admired the mindset as much as she worried about it. Lily just thought this was about as brown nose as it got.

"Jade you are worthy because we chose you." Nina replied calmly as Thomas would. "Just work as hard as you can and I know it will be fine."

"Thanks Neens, you've been the sweetest thing to me." Jade bowed her head only to spray them with a shady blessing. "Lily is one lucky... girl... huh?"

Miss Lily had enough of the games.

"Ahem, er... look, If you're serious about helping Nina's production, then I want to make sure things are straight between you and me." Lily held Nina's hand tighter as they both stood against the new girl as a team. "Honestly Jade? I wished you weren't the Swan Queen and you'd be packing your bags and be out of New York by tomorrow."

"Bu~t..." Jade hinted with anticipation.

"But... I know how important this production is," Lily's wisdom had grown as much as Nina's spirit. "Especially to NIna. And I'm not gonna let our personal stuff get in the way of it."

Nina's hands against Lily's body stroking spoke much louder than words of her appreciation. Jade on the other hand couldn't be read even if she had her thoughts written on her forehead.

"So basically you still hate my guts but for the sake of this new found responsible Lily... you're gonna let me slide for the duration of the tour."

"Basically, yep." Lily pondered half-heartedly as she took another sip, looking so sexual yet... devious, an old look Nina knew all too well. "But you're on a short leash and boiling inside a pressure cooker... I hope you can handle it."

"Oh I can handle it." Jade shot back with the same zeal, leaning back in her chair almost victorious in her demeanor. "So it's official. This makes us partners right? Both going to dance our a little tutu toushies off for Nina's sake?"

"Yes... partners... for now." Lily confirmed it.

"Finally some chemistry! Now that's what I'm talking about!" Jade reached out her glass with renewed excitement. "Come on you two. We're gonna be a team from now on and we're going to kick ass and take no prisoners right?"

"Let's just start by not doing anything stupid..." Lily popped her positive bubble. "Fair enough?"

"Just like old Lily!" Jade chuckled as she apparently agreed. "So mean yet helpful."

"Don't mention it..."

The silence next was almost louder than the club music. For Nina the silence was a reminder of a time. A moment where she began coming out of her shell. Leaning against a booth and feeling a drug... or even a being take over her body. Lily's sweet smell to the left of her lips almost touching...

_**Come in Nina...**_

"We~ll... so ladies.. what do you think?" Jade playfully leaned towards them with conniving eyes. "We can just sit here and be all boring or..."

_**Roll... it'll only last a few hours...**_

"... We go dancing." Nina opened her mouth again with a stare at her girlfriend, trying to relive the moment. The Lily that sat next to her... wasn't even close to the one she was with that night. This one's eyes had too much care to be any kind of catalyst to that nostalgia. The person across the table... though.

"Yes party girl Nina... let's go dancing." Jade never looked so... mischievous.

- B - B - B -

The blur was beginning. Downing drinks left and right. Jumping passionately to the music. Dancing against the most beautiful girl in the world. Nina was feeling the thump, the push and the same rush a wild girl on the night would feel. That feeling she had only one other time in the her life... the first night out with Lily. Truthfully it was only a taste of it. It had been hours now... and it just didn't feel right. There was still a stiffness. There was still a tension. The same old ghosts.

"You are so hot baby..." Lily was already getting to her state of ecstasy, letting this night be one of complete release. The alcohol seeped into Nina's nose as they began making out in the middle of the dance floor, eyes wide opened and grinding fully aware.

Nina could see it in Lily's eyes even though she was tipsy. The fact that Lily that couldn't get enough of the more sensual and intoxicating things in life was still deep inside her. Nina could see the fun inside her as she moved. The way Lily was touching her... it was as publically passionate as ever. Why couldn't life be more like this? More open... more natural.

_It's because I'm still a little girl... trying to play adult._ _Like it's a part in a ballet... dressed the part but with nothing inside._

The moment was the first time. It was so primal. It was so organic. This night, as much fun as Nina was having, she knew this wasn't going to last. She needed to let loose but was as stiff as Sayers usually was. The alcohol wasn't doing a thing... this was fake. It was all a facade like she was on a stage. Not an ounce of difference.

"What's wrong Nina?" Lily's lazy eyes stared into her soft orbs, Nina pressed up so tight against her like a child. The darker of the ballerinas could feel the tenseness in her girlfriend with ease.

"N-nothing..." Nina shook her head in defiance, glancing at all the Black Swans around her having so much fun. The Odiles that infested this room just had... that something inside, that innate urge to be in a place like this.

_Still just a little girl... playing in a big girl's world._

"Just relax baby..." Lily had her arms wrapped around her neck, her head pressed against Nina as she danced. "Relax and have fun..."

"Relax..." Nina blinked a few times, dancing half-heartedly now as she sighed. "... It's been almost a y-year... since then... and you're still telling me this... like I can't do it myself."

"Huh...?" Lily swayed her to the beat... almost moving them both by her own will and not Nina's.

_I didn't change at all. I don't deserve this... where is my... Black Swan?_

_"Nina!"_

"AH! Nina felt herself bumped so hard almost knocking her over because of the alcohol that ran through her body. She turns back up to see a cloud of darkness, a cluster of dancers that looked the Odile part as well but had no substance. She swore somebody had bumped her on purpose, whispering the words "Looking for me?" as they passed. Nina couldn't hear clearly and it was distorted... but the voice was recognizable. Was it Lily...? Was it... Jade? Was it... Thomas? Was it... her mother?

"Lily?" Nina looked around surrounded by only black, her white dressed girlfriend nowhere to be seen. "Lily where are you?"

_Why you looking for her baby girl? ... Can't you stand on your own two feet? She's not coming this time..._

"... If you want to show yourself. Show up." Nina scowled as she was expecting a sea of images to sweep her mind but nothing was there.

_Lily deserves a woman like Jade. Not... you._

"S-shut up..." Nina pushed her way through the crowd almost as if the voice was just a few persons ahead and she wanted to confront it. She swore... she saw... Odile peak through a few body parts in the club crowd. She saw herself... egging her on in the most teasing and threatening way imaginable.

_You wanted to unleash yourself again right? To prove yourself as a fucking adult right? Then.. come on sweet heart. Go crazy... let's do this one more time. Are you scared? Or are you REALLY looking for me?_

_**In a subway train Nina sees that double in black, the white Swan fighting through the crowd to get to her. The double turns back smiling in a teasing wave, walking off the subway train. Nina fights as hard as she can but too many people are pushing against her... losing the darkness.**_

"I'm looking... for me. The one I know that was inside." Nina breathed heavy as she felt the alcohol really hit her, landing in the middle of a huge group. "I can handle that me now..."

_You can handle me? The one that stabbed you. The one that almost put you six foot deep under dirt? Heh-heh... be careful what you wish for little girl..._

Nina's vision was doubled as a few teens were so excited being in the presence of the Swan Queen herself. The star of Swan Lake had her fans even here. A bunch of Odiles were touching her, even a few begging to kiss her. Dark dressed gentlemen suddenly handed her a drink, one that was bubbling... like a pill had been dropped.

_**Nina stared at the glass as Lily dropped that pill in, staring at the amber drink bubble like it was an elixir to a path to perfection. The Lily behind the glass kept shifting to that Black Swan, smiling at her evilly.**_

_You go on this ride again... there's nowhere to run this time._

This Nina didn't even hesitate, taking the drink with all the passion and reckless behavior she wanted.

- B - B - B -

_We can fight our desires  
But when we start making fires  
We get ever so hot  
Whether we like it or not_

They say we can love who we trust  
But what is love without lust?  
Two hearts with accurate devotions  
And what are feelings without emotions

Lily was always the off one. She loved the fact really. In a room full of all too serious ballerinas she was the carefree sassy dancer out of all of them that just could've cared even less that she already did. Being the only spec of white in the entire club made her the target of many prowlers. They were just obstacles in the way as Lily would brush them aside no matter how hot they were. She couldn't believe she'd lost Nina, her priority. Her life. In a blacked out room... where everyone was dressed like Odile... it was almost impossible to find her.

"Hey Mad, Gail, you've guys seen Nina?" Lily let out a breath as she felt the alcohol weigh her down, scrambling into the Swans VIP room.

"Neen neen is probably dancing like the superstar she is!" Gailana blurted out as she was in the arms of a ballerino all flirty.

"Yes... why aren't you out there too Fo sheezy Lily? She can't have all the fun by herself!" Madeline was just as out of it as her teammate, having her own man draped on her like a muscle blanket.

"Thanks... for the help." Lily groaned. She held her head as asking these two for help now was as bad as asking Thomas for a break during practice. She bolted out the VIP room in a stumbling grace, trying to walk straight down the hallway but struggled on the heels while having that hammered feeling.

_If you're not okay... I'll never forgive myself! _

Lily took a peak into some rooms as she opened random doors... catching groups of Black Swans taking shots... and even some things not comfortable being mentioned. She'd checked all over the club as thoroughly as she could but with no sign of her love she was getting beyond worried. She knew Nina's history with this type of thing. Lily just couldn't imagine going through this stuff again. She promised to be there for her always...

"... Fuck why did I drink so much?" Lily frustratingly held her head as she leaned back against the wall, trying to clear her head for another swoop search for her beautiful swan.

"So... you two are street dancers huh?"

The voice that usually made Lily cringe was actually a welcomed earful.

"JADE!"

Jade turned seeing Lily with a blinking wave. She was apparently conversing with a pair of well built boys, the common crowd for her. Lily walked over hurriedly grabbing her wrist.

"Jade come on... help me find Nina."

"Nina? What's up? You lost her? Heh, we were drinking together like half an hour ago. She said she was going to go find you."

"S-she did?"

"Yeah... what happened?"

"I... we were dancing... and ugh... just never mind." Lily urged her. "Y-you look semi-sober... everyone else is too fucked up to help."

"Heh... I guess I do hold my shit together well... um..." Jade turned to the guys. "Uh sorry fellas... I gotta go find my boss."

"Whoa but wait a second! I thought we were gonna-"

"You two are hot guys... go gay for tonight. It's totally the in thing." Jade winked sarcastically, pulling off with Lily as the one in white was dragging them along. "Whoa.. .h-hey Lily calm down. She isn't like in danger. She's not like before-"

"I know, I know... but I really want to make sure she's okay." Lily was looking around desperately. "It'll make me feel better alright?"

Jade blinked, looking all teasing at her. "You really... care for this girl don't you?"

"Of course..." Lily glanced at her as if she was stupid.

"No... I mean... you REALLY... care for her." Jade smiled. "It's so grown up of you..."

Lily just shook her head and shh'd her. "Come on... memory lane later..." She gripped her head. "I think I ate a Hash Brownie and I got fifteen minutes before it kicks in."

"Hah... you ate one of Gailana's weed brownies too?" Jade took her own glance around the club. "Heh okay... we gotta find Nina quick... come on let's go."

- B - B - B -

_I'm going in for the kill  
I'm doing it for a thrill  
Oh I'm hoping you'll understand  
And not let go of my hand_

"So how do you know you don't like cock dear?"

Nina shook her noggin as she awoke from a dazed sleep, groaning as she felt the biggest pulsing headache. She looked over, vission as blurry as can be. She could barely make out who was talking to her just a few feet away. It was Jade... no... Lily... no Odile...

"I..."

"Nina, no offense but how can you know you're a lesbian if you've never had any... you know... testosterone up inside you?"

"... I liked boys... I mean.. m-men..."

_**Attack it! ATTACK IT!**_

_**Nina swirls from the Black Swan's coda, landing into Thomas' arms both of them staring into one another's eyes. She pulled his head into her face kissing him with a furious passion.**_

_**Is that sensual enough? Am I... seducing you?"**_

"Me and Lily used to get so crazy! I'm talking like multiple partners... girls and guys... heh... oh man... so fucked up." Nina blinked a few times as she heard the voice clearer, staring at Jade now. The Foxy vixen was whispering into her ear. "You gotta live a little... and do those things. Sex... is like anything else... you need to practice... you need to explore..."

"Practice... makes perfect..."

"Exactly dear..." Jade brings a drink up to Nina's lips, letting her swig another shot of wine. "You gotta... be crazy sometimes to be... sane."

"Yes... I ... agree..."

_**Nina kept Lily pinned against the bed, making out with her underneath. For once... she wanted to dominate this vixen. This insatiable sexy nymph that she couldn't get enough of . Her kisses were so passionate... and then something more as she nibbled on Lily's under lip.**_

_You want to be crazy... then be crazy..._

"You're such a funny girl Nina... such a sexy girl. I know you got a wild side in you." Jade's face melted into the Odile she was trying to find. Feathers and all in her face. "Why aren't you still looking for me? Heh... heh... heh..."

The search was on going. The night was going by like a fast forwarded tape. Grinding... making out... drinking... rolling... all without Lily there to watch her.

Standing... on her own.

- B - B - B -

"Lily... LILY! I found her!"

Nina felt herself being pulled up as she felt almost weightless like she was on a roller coaster. Almost like being on the highest cloud and laying there, similar as she would after landing on the mattress after Odette's 'death' for those many show nights. She saw flashes of Jade looking a bit worried as she tried to compose herself.

"Hey Nina you alright? I think you over did it party girl!"

"Nina!" Lily's concerned face was the next thing she saw, bringing a smile to Nina's face.

"Lily... I am... having so much.. fun..." Nina mumbled weakly, pressing her lips into Lily's chin and trying to have another kiss-a-thon.

"Baby why the hell did you go off and scare me like that?" Lily helped keep her standing, nuzzling her face to a still relaxed forehead press.

"... S-stop being a party.. pooper..." Nina groaned now with the most taunting tone... similar to the one she used on her mother coming back from her 'double date' with Tom and Jerry. It was almost schizophrenic... almost.

"Jeez Nina knows how to get down... guess I underestimated her." Jade laughed in her plastered state everything was overly amusing. The two struggled as they were walking along the side of the club. Lily even in her drunken demeanor found little humor in this.

"This is serious! We need a place for her to rest. I-Mmph..." Lily kept on accepting Nina's kissing reluctantly to keep her occupied.

"Heh... alright you frisky friends..." Jade motioned them towards the outside door. "I got a suite upstairs she can crash at."

_Having fun... aren't we Nina?_

- B - B - B -

With a swipe of a hotel key Lily and Jade barreled into the suite with a struggling Nina. The large suite was as fashionable and high class as it came, looking eerily similar to the place where Nina was toasted as the Swan Queen for the first time. Everything always... had the same vibe.

"I need to... go to the restroom..." Nina gently pushed away, falling towards the door and wriggling at the door knob. After opening it clumsily she closed it with a gentle slam, not even glancing at Jade or Lily's way.

"Don't lock it Nina!" Lily held the door as Nina just gurgled a response back that sounded like "Okay.".

"Jeez relax, heh heh... you're acting like her mom." Jade walked towards the far end of the suite.

"Don't ever say that." Lily turned to her seriously, knowing exactly how bad that sentence actually was. Jade hadn't the slightest idea.

"Whoa whoa... okay okay... sorry." Jade shook her hands in a non combative manner. "You know it's like every time I talk to you it's like defusing a bomb or something."

"..." Lily tapped her foot in reply, leaning against the wall. She took back the angry outburst with a calm nod, knowing Jade didn't mean anything by it. In fact, she was beginning to feel a bit guilty for the entire weeks that had passed. Had she... over done the guilt trip?

"Look, S-sorry for..."

"It's cool... don't say another word." Jade was filing a glass of water up to the top. "The weed's hitting you hard now isn't it? ... You haven't been smoking as much."

"Yeah... that was a stupid idea." Lily closed her eyes tight to keep the room leveled, breathing calmly. For the first time in a long time... she didn't want to lash out at Jade. "Thanks for finding... Nina."

_It has to be the weed..._

"Don't mention it old friend." Jade shrugged it off. "Hey, I need boss to teach me how to kick ass on stage after all." A cold glass was at Lily's side. "Water?"

"... Yeah..." Lily took it with an appreciative nod. Jade leaned back now against a wooden chair, holding her own head now with a little groan.

"Fuck I think that weed is starting to hit me too.. heh... heh..."

"Just like old times..." Lily mumbled to herself, looking to the floor. Jade curled her lips at the mention.

"Reminds me of ... hey, remember when we went to that Excision and Datsik concert?"

"Y-yeah... heh... and we both got so high we-"

"We woke up in the back counter of a Denny's the next day?"

"Yeah... good times..." Lily coughed uncomfortably after a hesitation. "Ordered... three grand slams that morning..."

"Hehehe, you know dear, I think this is the first time we've spoke in several years and not like you know..."

"Act bitchy?"

"Exactly..."

"Well... can you blame me?"

"No... no I can't." Jade had to take a seat as she felt the room whirling a bit. "Lily... um... you know I-"

"Jade... keep things the way they are. I don't want any explanations... or... um... whatever..." Lily took her own seat at the couch, closing her eyes again. "I may not be so angry anymore but we're never going back to the way things were... I'm too different for that."

"I know. You're in too good of a place... I got it." Jade smiled only to give a serious face that was seldom scene. "Lily, I just want you to know... that I'm happy for you. And all your success... you deserve it. I know we left on bad terms... I just wish I could tell you exactly what I was thinking back then... I'm not saying I was right... but... weren't we both stupid kids at the time?"

Lily only blinked a few times, putting her glass down. She wanted to keep hating Jade with a passion but things we shifting. It was like knowing that a roller coaster drop was coming but she didn't want it to. Only one word could... sum up her feelings at the moment.

"... Fuck."

- B - B - B -

Nina held onto the porcelain as she had to divulge the poisons within... vomiting alcohol and whatever else she did to herself tonight into the bowl. She looks up staring at a Black Swan who was not quenched just yet. Odile... was having too much fun. Dress up was no longer just... dress up.

_Just like last time eh Nina?_

"No... not like last time..." Nina stumbled back, wiping her face with sink water before falling into the bathtub and laying there in a deadman's rest. She closes her eyelids, blinking only a few times... feeling the numbness like she was underwater... hearing only the still liquid bob in small waves.

_So it's not like last time? How so..?_

"I saw the images before... I've seen you before... I've seen my skin peel... I've seen feathers sprout out of me..." Nina whispers to herself, suddenly seeing a dark version of herself floating above her, bleeding from her mouth. Just like... in the bath tub. It scared her...

_And..._

"You tried to scare me... you've tried to kill me... but you know what?"

_What?_

"I'm not afraid anymore..." Nina smiled drunkenly. "I've grown up... and ghosts and monsters... don't scare me anymore..."

_**You're special Nina... don't be like... them.**_

Nina reached up grabbing onto the dark image and pulling her down into a kiss, Odile's eyes bulging out like she was being sucked into Nina. There was a splash and a struggle but soon Odile was putty in her hands.

"I ... bit Thomas... I had sex with Lily... I stabbed myself... I... did everything..." Nina held onto Odile with no remorse. "You're nothing... nothing but an excuse... a figment of the imagination. I can... be... a Black Swan."

_Mmm... sounds good.. heh... but we're not done tonight yet are we?_

"No..." Nina sat up suddenly looking at her arms... seeing feathers again. She laughs to herself, feeling that emotion of recklessness in passion that was stirring with toxins that was clouding her mind of sort of judgment. She looks into the mirror... seeing the same girl that kissed Thomas. That won over the Opening Night crowd. The Swan... that started this whole journey.

"Nina! You okay?" Lily opened the door forcibly to see Nina standing right in front of it with lustful eyes. "H-hey... uh... I..."

Before words could be said Nina was against her slim body, sliding her tongue deep into her love's mouth, pinning her against the wall with great force. Lily was so surprised, her hands were frozen as Nina had never... been so forceful before. A deep moan was suppressed as their tongues battled for a moment, Lily trying to pull Nina off.

"H-hey... what Nina..."

Nina didn't let her breathe, kissing Lily into a trance as the two girl's mind was already beginning to shut off... inhibition not a concern for the primal instincts. She had to have Lily... to show Lily what a real woman she could be.

"Well.. I think I'll let you two have a great night..." Jade whispered as she tried to slide by. "Have fun okay?"

Jade was stopped by a grip on her wrist, blinking at Nina's hand.

"Hey now...Mmph!"

Lily couldn't believe it... seeing what she saw next... Nina's lips against Jade forcing a kiss upon her now. Lily took a gulp before she could even recover, the drugs forcing her to be delayed. Most of her wanted to tear the connection apart like shredding paper... another side of her... was getting... turned on in an unimaginable way.

Lily tried to force a stop between them but found Nina back on her, rolling them over to the couch in a stumbling tumble. Lily tried to pull back into control but a familiar face stopped her. Jade... a younger Jade from the past smiling right at her.

_One last time... for old time sake..._

It was Jade's turn to taste Lily again... Nina feasting on her neck at the same time. Lily could only moan helplessly into the moment, all three girls letting it all go as she was being pleasured by two gorgeous creatures. They were all lost. They didn't want to even think of what they were doing.

It was the start to a night that would change.. everything.


End file.
